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30 Jul 2015, 18:10

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And another one...

by Bobshouse on 25 Jun 2014, 05:38

Fast that is, 2nd this week. As I thought I am hungry this morning having not eaten much yesterday. My plan is to stick with it. Lots to do to stop me thinking about food. Had a bad night, my head just churns over all my worries. Woke at 4.30 but stayed put until 6.30. Watched the sun rise ( bedroom window open at the moment), heard my cockerel crow the first of the day and listened to the dawn chorus cranking up. The Blackbird sounds glorious in the morning. Our Barn owl was noisy overnight too. I know this is just another stage that happens and my lack of sleep will correct itself.
Think we will venture out to a DIY store today to buy the window for the cloakroom we are going to create. We also need lots of railing to attach plaster board to in the gites. Spoke to eldest daughter last night, they are planning to come out for 3 weeks in October which will be lovely. We are very much hoping to have 10 days away in September once holiday guests are finished for the season. We have decided to visit Cornwall, a place we have not been to for decades. We want an all English holiday, no foreign languages!
Despite the lack of sleep I can feel the black cloud lifting again. It is a worry though that attacks are getting closer together. I am determined to stay off medication.
I have deleted all my saved house searches and cancelled the email alerts as it really doesn't help. I will not allow myself to go there again until we have sold this house however far away that is.
So, today has begun early and I will fast. I will ignore my body demanding food and have egg salad for dinner tonight. Then tomorrow I will eat if I feel like it. I have more times now when I listen to my body and do not just mindlessly eat. I still feel I have gained weight this month but will not beat myself up. The important thing is to establish my fasting, weight loss will come at some point!

In for repair Monday, Wednesday and Friday
learning to love life as it is
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