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REVIEW OF PROGRESS ON THE BSD
27 Sep 2016, 19:45

+ July 2016
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+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013

Why oh why did I ever stop?

Oh dear, I was doing so well! I lost nearly 4 stone from November 2013 to July 2014....and then I lost my way. A combination of reaching some event goals (daughter's graduation) and then having nothing much to aim for, coupled with a lifelong habit of comfort eating.

I have put back the best part of 2 stones. I wake up with back pain, my jeans are straining at the thighs and the button, so are very uncomfortable. I am back to feeling apologetic about my existence, there's no joy to clothes shopping like there was last summer....the list is endless.

While I've been busy stuffing my face, the fat has piled back on. Fact. There's no escaping the consequences of all those puddings and chocolate bars. My mood sucks, I am back to feeling second class once more.

I have a brain, so why have I allowed myself to slip back this badly? I was really enjoying all the wonderful benefits of 5:2.....so why would I exchange all of that for how I am feeling now? Last summer, I really enjoyed going shopping for clothes, my mood was sky high and my self esteem was pretty good. The novelty of having a bit of space in my jeans (thighs-wise) was incredible - because I was always used to filling every inch of them. I felt fit and healthy and spent my days receiving compliments from all & sundry....which was a definite novelty!

That's all gone now. It's taken me until 2nd March to get a grip on 2015. Today is my first fast in ages. If I can get back in the swing of it, I might just salvage Summer 2015. It's nearly 1.30pm and I have eaten nothing so far. Things are looking promising. Once again, I got myself into this mess and I am the only person who can get myself out of it. I know I need to have more respect for myself and my poor body. I need to find other ways to console myself....... :rainbow:
2 replies Page 1 of 1
1 out of 52 out of 53 out of 54 out of 55 out of 5

Mojo returning!

by Hazelnut20 on 22 Mar 2015, 11:15

I am at the end of Week 3 of my return to fasting. I eased myself in gently on Wk 1 with a two day fast. After months away (& very much out of control food-wise, hence the 2 stone gain :confused: ) I was amazed at how easily the habit came back. When I left fasting, I had got to the point where I could go all day without food & only eat at dinnertime. It was not a hard slog, it was just what I did. I was even at the point where I only ate around 300 cals per day (a fresh Waitrose soup) and didn't feel deprived. Am pleased to report that it all came flooding back....and Wk 1 went very well on the fasting days....though not so well on the other 5! Cue massive snacking & scoffing...comfort eating for the world! Net result was a whole 1lb loss - which even I knew I didn't deserve....given all the naughtiness! Thank you very much.....I'll take that!

At the end of Wk 1 something strange happened - a helpful little voice popped into my head & said,

"Do you know, given that you are not so good on the non-fast days, how about trying 4:3 next week to reduce the damage you are doing to yourself? I've checked your diary and guess what? There's no reason why you can't do Mon, Wed, Fri!".

Apart from a Cheese & Wine party scheduled for the Friday night, there was nothing standing in my way - particularly as I can take or leave cheese at the best of times (am sweet-toothed), so declining it wouldn't be a problem. The little voice made complete sense to me (she's very wise!)....so that's what I did. The fast days went fine - you'll never catch me going over as I have a determined streak when I set my mind to it! The other days though, were the usual problem.....and I ended the week a couple of boxes of Maltesers down! Both boxes were eaten in their entirety on 2 separate occasions......even though half way through, the little voice pointed out that I wasn't enjoying them as much as I had at the start. She can be very annoying at times, that particular little voice! Ooh....and she's always right too.

Cue Wk3, which started the day after Mother's Day. There was way too much leftover Rhubarb Crumble (RC) and cream to engage in a fast on the Monday - a day I usually like to fast on. So I gave myself permission to eat. Very nice it was too. Tuesday morning dawned....but there was still some RC to be had - ooh, dilemma!! Cue a battle in my head between the two voices that inhabit the space......

"You don't HAVE to fast today if you don't want to!"

"Oh yes you must! Get back on track! You'll be glad I'm making you commit to this when you lose the weight.."

Amazingly, the little know-it-all voice won...so I fasted. On Thursday, I fasted again...and it went fine. Then, she was back with a suggestion:-

"Do you know, if you threw in a Saturday fast, that would be three this week - how great would that be??"

A Saturday? Are you kidding? That's the weekend....and weekends are for enjoyment!

"No" says she. "Your type of weekend would only undo any progress you've made during the week! You can definitely do it...and then enjoy Sunday all the more - but not in a calorie type of way, just in the feeling of relaxing the rules a bit!"

Well, even I couldn't fault the logic on that one.....so that's what I jolly well did! Pretty lonely it was too - there wasn't even a thread...so I knew you lot were all probably enjoying yourselves more than me, but hey ho....I got myself into this mess...and only I can get myself out of it!

Since I didn't fast on Monday, I didn't weigh myself either...naughty girl! Mondays have always been my day of reckoning.....but I postponed it to the Wednesday.....whereupon the scales revealed I had lost a further 2.5lbs....bringing it to 3.5lbs in total since coming back. Slow, but definitely moving in the right direction - unlike the rest of me, who has yet to commit to the idea of getting back into exercise! Still, Rome wasn't built in a day...and all that!

I have just reviewed everything I have written...and am a touch concerned! Are you all going to label me as a little unhinged due to the voices (!)....or do many of you experience the same internal battle? If you do, what tips can you give me for squaring up to the sabotaging voice? Your views would be very gratefully received...

Started BSD 09/05/16 @ 213.5lbs BMI 32.9

Lost 43.3lbs as @ 10/10/16 - got down to 170.2lbs. Fell off wagon (again) but jumped back on 09/01/17...weighing in at 187.2lbs....oh dear :frown:
16/01 180.6lbs
2 Comments   Viewed 17129 times

Comments

Re: Mojo returning!
30 Mar 2015, 01:56
Good on you for pulling yourself up by the bootstraps!! I am
also try to focus on 4:3 or more
ADF. Have a great week!
Re: Mojo returning!
08 Apr 2015, 17:33
Thank you very much! Haven't seen you on the threads yet - do please introduce yourself so we can all support you on your fasting journey. Best of luck!
2 replies Page 1 of 1

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