OK, the thing is, and I know that you know this, your mother will want you to have the most magical day that is possible, irrespective of whether she is well enough to be there in person.
Planning your wedding gives you and your family/friends something lovely and life-affirming to absorb your hopes and thoughts for your future - enjoy every moment of it.
And, above all, embrace every moment of this highlight in your life.
Good Luck to You and Yours.
Rollercoaster life...
by LadanTrying on 18 Feb 2015, 21:02
On the plus side: I've now lost 20 lbs. I'll see if that's inched further ahead when I weigh in on Friday. My goal had been 33 lbs total weight loss, so I hope to have reached the weight loss goal by the middle of April. In addition, fasting has become a complete and utter doddle for me. It's like I've reached a kind of zen like state. Even my non-fasting days are a bit easier to manage than before, though I do over-indulge some days.
On the hugely encouraging plus side: A lot of people keep commenting about my weight loss. It is such a boost to my determination. I also have a friend who is fasting now and has lost 12 lbs so far. It's great to have more face-to-face allies to share stories/ideas with! Most still look at me with a bit of surprise and curiosity when I tell them I'm fasting (many say 'oh I could never do that.. I'd get too hungry!' hard to explain how the hunger feel really does start to fade over time...).
On the challenging side: My mum is still in the ICU. She had a lot of complications post-surgery and we almost lost her. Was a huge scare and a major adjustment into her being in the hospital for now over a month. She's just turned a corner though and is slowly starting to improve, which we're all deeply grateful for. She's had almost all the tubes and contraptions removed from her except for her ventilator, and that's being slowly weaned, along with the trach she still can't speak. It's been hard to see how much strength and ability she lost from this ordeal and how frustrating this is for her particularly in light of her regaining her mental awareness and not fully understanding/accepting why she's still in the hospital. We're all just hopeful now that she'll improve enough to regain her strength and abilities she enjoyed pre-surgery. Ironically her heart is doing well now.
Which leads me to the craziness of now: I'm getting married in 4 weeks, 3 days. Before I was just thinking 'well, of course mum will be at the wedding' and now I'm thinking, 'wow I hope she will be well enough to attend the wedding, even if it's in a wheelchair'. A daunting and depressing thought, if I admit it, but that's where we're at.
And trying to plan a wedding and be happy and positive about it has been really hard in light of all of this. I'm trying to look forward to it, but I keep feeling like I can't. at least not until I feel sure my mum is well enough to be there.
So yes, it's been a rollercoaster month so far... great news on my weight loss goals, but so so challenging elsewhere. And trying to juggle all of this, my personal life, my huge workload, and my upcoming wedding plans... never thought 2015 would prove so UGH so far!