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Curate's Egg
12 Jul 2013, 07:52

Drawing a line ...
07 Jul 2013, 11:23

That was the week that was ...
06 Jul 2013, 20:07

Cake!
04 Jul 2013, 13:33

Three in a row
02 Jul 2013, 21:09

+ June 2013
7 replies Page 1 of 1

It's been a funny old week ...

by Moptop on 23 Jun 2013, 20:34

It's been an odd week in that I've been very much out of the routine that I'd established. I had a birthday meal out, two days of work buffet lunches, another meal out, very delicious birthday cake hanging around the kitchen, and this all culminated on Saturday with me deciding that it would be my first fast day that week - and promptly scoffing 7 homemade choc chip cookies. It went from bad to worse - two chorizo sausage rolls ( can only imagine the fat content in them!), a Chinese buffet dinner and a Brie sandwich before bed. Oof, I felt ill - my stomach physically ached and I had to take Gaviscon for my indigestion.

Today, my resolve was back and I liquid fasted until 6.30pm when I ate a calorie counted prepared salad from M&S. it feels good to be back in control - and although I am still hungry I know it's an emotional hunger rather than a lack-of-food hunger.

I am going to fast tomorrow as well - for me, the second day is always easier than the first day of fasting. My stomach grumbles in a much more subdued manner.

So, analysis time: why did I blow my week so spectacularly? I think my emotions are riding high - I am upset and angry. My husband is doing his usual passive-aggressive thing and sending me to Coventry (any excuse will do for a sulk). There is so much I want to say to him but twice now I've been told to '**** off' - so there's no point in trying to have a conversation. I KNOW this from past experience - but past experience has shown me how I have habitually tried to silence my anger and distress with food. Stuff my gob full of junk and I'll stifle the words.

Yup - I'm not thinking about this as I type and yet I feel like I've just had an epiphany - I was in self-destruct food-wise because I was allowing my emotions to control my appetite. I need to lose the anger - again, past experience shows that it doesn't achieve anything at all with 'im indoors and I cannot change his behaviour - but I can change my response to it.

Here's to a less self-destructive week.

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Comments

Yeah, here's to it. You are so right. You can change your response, but not his behaviour. Easy to say, hard to do. For me, saying how I feel is sometimes pointless if the other party doesn't want to hear it. So then I don't and then I feel as if I am bottling it up. It's about somehow changing how i feel. Emotions? Who needs them?
Hugs, that sounds like a hard week.

Hope this week is kinder too you.

Xx
Hi Sallyo - thanks for your comment. I agree entirely!

5:2 is helping me with the physical act of eating, but blogging and reflecting on the last week has helped me think more about the psychological aspect of over-eating. When I get stressed I am going to try to go for a walk rather than head to the cake tin!
Hippyshakeoff - thank you for the hug. It has been a hard week, but it's only a *week* I tell myself. My challenge this week is to break destructive patterns of behaviour and find something much more constructive to take its place - seeing friends, going for a walk, being creative!
Moptop. My heart goes out to you. No one deserves to be told to ****off. Grab hold of this destructive energy and turn it into something for you. Just show him who's in control now. Please keep up with your blog good and bad. It really helps to document how you are feeling, it's a bit like shedding the negatives, and celebrating the positives.
Thank you, Carieoates, I took yr advice!
Which bit ? Hope all is good with you today.
7 replies Page 1 of 1

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