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A bittersweet week
16 May 2014, 19:03

Tried being productive today....
04 May 2014, 18:39

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+ September 2013

Time for a life changing decision....

All my life I have struggled with my weight. I am the daughter of a feeder, and my mother is the daughter of a feeder and my grandmother is the daughter of a feeder (sense a pattern?). I was always a chubby child, I think I weighed a stone for every year of my life as a child. I was always told by my mother "It's just puppy fat, you'll lose it as a teenager"....But that never happened. In fact, it only got worse into my teens. I became the subject of bullying and abuse, and it plummeted my self-esteem even further.

As I embarked on adulthood, I made a remarkable discovery! The internet! As an overweight girl, with low self-esteem, no confidence and painfully shy, found this way of making friends the most amazing thing ever! But of course, sitting in front of a computer from the moment you wake up, to the moment you go to bed, only getting up to get more food or to pee made my weight problem even worse. I think at my heaviest I must have hit close to 25 stone!!

By now I am morbidly obese, and every mention of a diet to my mother is frowned upon and I'm told "You're fine, you don't need to lose any weight." I know its unhealthy, why couldn't she see it? Any attempt to diet is quickly stopped or hindered because of my lack of willpower and the complete inability to deal with confrontation.

A few years ago, I met my best friend ever (via the internet) and she has also struggled with weight for her life. She and her partner talked to me about this new diet they were going to start on, the Paleo diet. It sounded quite similar to Atkins but I decided to give it ago. I was afraid of scales so I never actually know if I lost any weight during this time but I feel like I did, this was encouraging for me and it gave me a sense of empowerment that I could control my eating over my mother.

The final straw came last year. I went to the doctor to ask to go on birth control. He told me I was too overweight for the 'pill' and I was a risk of clotting. He also took my blood pressure and my blood pressure was high. He then told me he wanted to hook me up to a 24hr monitor and I guess I just freaked out...I'm 30 years old, I shouldn't have to deal with this! I took a stand, no more! At this point, I weighed 20 stone 7lbs. I decided something HAD to change. I started to try Zumba (my sister, who is also overweight) has lost a ton of weight just by doing that (might I just point out here, my mother has nothing to say about my sister wanting to lose weight.....) but my two left feet had other ideas about this. So then I started to power walk every night. But due to back problems this just made it worse. So I did the only thing I knew how, controlling my food intake.

A year on, I have lost 3.5 stone (It was 4 but I put on a stone over the summer being away and eating rubbish) but I find it so hard some days to stay on track, and then I become really hard on myself for slipping off my diet slightly. Enter the 5:2 way of life...I think with the way I have lived so far in my life I have done some significant damage to my body, but I'm still young enough to hopefully repair this damage. And to boot, shift some of this weight.

I have yet to mention this new life style to my mother (I still live at home :confused: ) and I'm sure this will not be an easy battle to win but I am determined to give this my best shot. It might take some time to get the hang of this, but once I have all the kinks sorted out, I'm hoping this will be the best decision I have ever made in my life so far.


Thank you for allowing me to unload some baggage. I hope this is the beginning of a wonderful, healing journey.

In love and peace :heart:
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First big feed day of my new WOE

by daydreamer21 on 30 Oct 2013, 19:13

Yesterday Jamie and I spent the day out and of course that included eating out. I must have consumed well over my daily allowance, we had a blast though so I don't mind. However today my body just wasn't happy. I felt stuffed still until late this afternoon and just sluggish. So I'm just eating lightish today, I'm 16:8'ing (mostly because I wasn't hungry) so hopefully I can negate some of the damage I did yesterday. We're meeting up with a friend tomorrow so more eating out and drinking. I'm going to try fasting on Friday and if we're out just eat a light salad or something.


In other news, I had another MRI on Monday because of my lower back and the doctor called me today with the results. She said there was a change in my discs and there is now some nerve compression which wasn't there before. I'm being referred back to the musculoskeletal clinic to see what my next step is. It looks like it's inching closer to an operation. Hopefully they can come up with something.

Love and peace...

Continued

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Jamie's reaction

by daydreamer21 on 28 Oct 2013, 13:41

Today is the first time I have seen my boyfriend in 8 weeks and before I started 5:2, I was excited to see his reaction to my slimmer figure. He wrapped his arms around my waist and said "you have really shrunk!". All day so far he keeps telling me how good I look and how well I've done and he can't believe the difference in just 8 weeks. This makes me feel even more amazing than all the other compliments I have received lately. Today's fast is going well so far, not sure I can fit another one in but I'll give it a shot. I'm sure I'll have a weight gain this week but I'm okay with that because I'm going to have a blast with Jamie and friends.


Have a good week all!

Love and peace :heart:

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Today has been AWESOME!

by daydreamer21 on 25 Oct 2013, 16:17

Today I went back to work after two weeks sick leave. I was still in some pain, no where near the pain I was in before I went off sick but I was just extra careful. I didn't realise just how much I missed my colleagues, everyone was delighted to see me back as much as I was delighted to see them. I received a great number of hugs from people, I felt very loved. I love that my department is such a close-knit group. That was the start of my awesome day. The real icing on the proverbial cake (mmmmm cake- bah I'm fasting today!!!) was that EVERYONE I bumped into in work today told me just how much weight they thought I had lost. Everyone wanted to know what I have been doing, I couldn't praise 5:2 enough. Some people were worried it was dangerous but I explained that to most certainly isn't and it has amazing affects on your body. I felt so inflated all day, really proud of the body I'm starting to shrink into, thrilled to bits that people were really noticing. One colleague in particular had...

Continued

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Really starting to see the effects of 5:2

by daydreamer21 on 24 Oct 2013, 22:29

I know I already made a post about this very subject but I about fit to burst because I am so happy. Today while I was in the local supermarket getting my prescription filled for my painkillers I was perusing their clothes aisles and I came to the jean section- I have an absolute love of jeans! Lately all my jeans have been falling down and are super baggy on my waist (I guess that's what I get for losing 4" off my waist!) Anyway, I came across a pair of size 18 super skinny jeans- I have been wearing size 22 skinny jeans which are no longer skinny but very baggy lol, and my size 20 jeans are falling down also. I was a bit apprehensive about the new jeans because they looked quite small but I still put them in my basket. If they didn't fit, it would give me something to work towards and I would just have to put up with my drooping jeans next week. Well, I got home and eagerly tried them on, the whole time saying over and over "please fit, please fit, please fit" and to my...

Continued

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End of another week

by daydreamer21 on 19 Oct 2013, 12:11

Week 4 of my 5:2 journey has come to an end and I have to say just how much easier I am finding the whole fasting process. Yesterday was my second fast day of the week and I didn't even feel hungry until right at the end of the day just as it was dinner time. My mother is totally relaxed about the whole thing now and it has really helped her to chill with over feeding me too I think, so no longer makes food and just shoves it at me, she asks if I would like anything (I'm still on bed rest with my back btw) and it's great now because if I say no it's cool, she knows I'll eat at some point. It really makes me feel more comfortable now being at home.

I have lost another lb this week, I wasn't sure I was going to lose anything since I've been cooped up in bed. But yep, there's a lb gone!! :victory: At first the scales read a 2lb loss but I can't always trust scales so I take several readings...

Continued

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