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- May 2014

A bittersweet week
16 May 2014, 19:03

Tried being productive today....
04 May 2014, 18:39

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+ September 2013

Time for a life changing decision....

All my life I have struggled with my weight. I am the daughter of a feeder, and my mother is the daughter of a feeder and my grandmother is the daughter of a feeder (sense a pattern?). I was always a chubby child, I think I weighed a stone for every year of my life as a child. I was always told by my mother "It's just puppy fat, you'll lose it as a teenager"....But that never happened. In fact, it only got worse into my teens. I became the subject of bullying and abuse, and it plummeted my self-esteem even further.

As I embarked on adulthood, I made a remarkable discovery! The internet! As an overweight girl, with low self-esteem, no confidence and painfully shy, found this way of making friends the most amazing thing ever! But of course, sitting in front of a computer from the moment you wake up, to the moment you go to bed, only getting up to get more food or to pee made my weight problem even worse. I think at my heaviest I must have hit close to 25 stone!!

By now I am morbidly obese, and every mention of a diet to my mother is frowned upon and I'm told "You're fine, you don't need to lose any weight." I know its unhealthy, why couldn't she see it? Any attempt to diet is quickly stopped or hindered because of my lack of willpower and the complete inability to deal with confrontation.

A few years ago, I met my best friend ever (via the internet) and she has also struggled with weight for her life. She and her partner talked to me about this new diet they were going to start on, the Paleo diet. It sounded quite similar to Atkins but I decided to give it ago. I was afraid of scales so I never actually know if I lost any weight during this time but I feel like I did, this was encouraging for me and it gave me a sense of empowerment that I could control my eating over my mother.

The final straw came last year. I went to the doctor to ask to go on birth control. He told me I was too overweight for the 'pill' and I was a risk of clotting. He also took my blood pressure and my blood pressure was high. He then told me he wanted to hook me up to a 24hr monitor and I guess I just freaked out...I'm 30 years old, I shouldn't have to deal with this! I took a stand, no more! At this point, I weighed 20 stone 7lbs. I decided something HAD to change. I started to try Zumba (my sister, who is also overweight) has lost a ton of weight just by doing that (might I just point out here, my mother has nothing to say about my sister wanting to lose weight.....) but my two left feet had other ideas about this. So then I started to power walk every night. But due to back problems this just made it worse. So I did the only thing I knew how, controlling my food intake.

A year on, I have lost 3.5 stone (It was 4 but I put on a stone over the summer being away and eating rubbish) but I find it so hard some days to stay on track, and then I become really hard on myself for slipping off my diet slightly. Enter the 5:2 way of life...I think with the way I have lived so far in my life I have done some significant damage to my body, but I'm still young enough to hopefully repair this damage. And to boot, shift some of this weight.

I have yet to mention this new life style to my mother (I still live at home :confused: ) and I'm sure this will not be an easy battle to win but I am determined to give this my best shot. It might take some time to get the hang of this, but once I have all the kinks sorted out, I'm hoping this will be the best decision I have ever made in my life so far.


Thank you for allowing me to unload some baggage. I hope this is the beginning of a wonderful, healing journey.

In love and peace :heart:
4 replies Page 1 of 1

Its been awhile

by daydreamer21 on 24 Jan 2014, 20:45

I haven't even looked at my blog for the longest time. I guess I didn't feel like I emotionally needed to talk through my feelings anymore.

Well lets see what's happened since the last time I blogged. Well, in my life work is just busy busy busy. Christmas was chaos (as you can imagine with young children) I was grateful for the holiday. I got to spend New Years in Scotland with my love. Jamie and I have actually decided when he is going to be moving in here with me (beginning of April, my Spring Break) I'm so excited about this, it's great I won't have to wait 6-8 weeks to see him all the time. His family aren't especially taking it well, and honestly I don't think my family are thrilled about it but they'll just have to suck it up. We've been talking a lot lately about children and marriage. We've decided next year that we'd like to have a baby, but Jamie is old fashioned and would love to be married before we have a baby, so we would have to get married some time this year!!! I'm not sure we could manage that but it would be amazing if we could. So, yes I have all this going on.



Before Christmas I actually reached my Christmas weight target of dropping into a new stone category and was sooooo excited and proud of myself. Which I quickly undid with 2 weeks of eating like a pig. As a result of this I gain 7lb!!!! :confused: I was so disappointed, all my hard work gone in a couple of weeks. So I deiced that from New Years, I would 4:3 to kick start my weight loss. Somehow though I'm not sure it's actually doing anything :frown: I'm quite enjoying the predictable routine of a Monday/Wednesday/Friday fast, it really seems to make my week go by a lot quicker. I really hope that I see a loss tomorrow, I'm not convinced though. But I really don't seem to mind, a loss would be grand but if there isn't it's okay- loads of people are always commenting on how great I look with my weight loss, so I must be doing something right.

I decided that I wasn't going to hit my mini target anytime soon so I'm just going to go ahead and chop all my hair off!!! I'm thinking when I get paid again in a few weeks I'll do it then. I'm excited about it! I figured I have a new body, I should have a new haircut too :wink:

Sammy's progress journal
Started 4:3 on 06.01.2014 @ 104.7kg- lets see what 2014 brings
Spring into fall member #55- target: to lose 12lbs! Target weight 85kg!!
4 Comments   Viewed 2591 times

Comments

Re: Its been awhile
25 Jan 2014, 07:35
Wow you have a lot going on. So much to look forward too. Congratulations!
Re: Its been awhile
25 Jan 2014, 12:25
Thanks Karen! Yep it's a busy time in my life, I'm super excited about everything. I can't wait for Jamie to get here! Nearly two and a half years of long distance has been more than enough :D just hope I can keep up with weight loss this year, I would like to be out of a the obese range before having a baby.
Re: Its been awhile
25 Jan 2014, 12:46
Ooooh baby talk. I love babies. No more for me though lol.

Great up beat post by the way, I've gone the other way and reverted back to simple, original 5.2 with 16.8 on non fast days.
We will all make it eventually.
Re: Its been awhile
25 Jan 2014, 14:11
carieoates wrote: Ooooh baby talk. I love babies. No more for me though lol.

Great up beat post by the way, I've gone the other way and reverted back to simple, original 5.2 with 16.8 on non fast days.
We will all make it eventually.



Yep!!! We've been talking about babies A LOT lately (mostly because I'm facing my 32nd birthday in March and I'd like to have 3 babies before 40 :confused: ) but yeah we need to get him here before that can happen!! I can't wait to have a baby honestly, so I want to be the healthiest weight I can be before I start "eating for two" and the only way I feel I can achieve that is to 4:3- I think ADF would put me off fasting altogether so this is best compromise I can manage. I'm trying to 16:8 on my non-fast days, but it always turns out being 15:9 lol but that's life. I don't eat breakfast during the week anymore, and I have breakfast on the weekend at lunchtime, it seems to be working out for me.
4 replies Page 1 of 1

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