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- May 2014

A bittersweet week
16 May 2014, 19:03

Tried being productive today....
04 May 2014, 18:39

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+ September 2013

Time for a life changing decision....

All my life I have struggled with my weight. I am the daughter of a feeder, and my mother is the daughter of a feeder and my grandmother is the daughter of a feeder (sense a pattern?). I was always a chubby child, I think I weighed a stone for every year of my life as a child. I was always told by my mother "It's just puppy fat, you'll lose it as a teenager"....But that never happened. In fact, it only got worse into my teens. I became the subject of bullying and abuse, and it plummeted my self-esteem even further.

As I embarked on adulthood, I made a remarkable discovery! The internet! As an overweight girl, with low self-esteem, no confidence and painfully shy, found this way of making friends the most amazing thing ever! But of course, sitting in front of a computer from the moment you wake up, to the moment you go to bed, only getting up to get more food or to pee made my weight problem even worse. I think at my heaviest I must have hit close to 25 stone!!

By now I am morbidly obese, and every mention of a diet to my mother is frowned upon and I'm told "You're fine, you don't need to lose any weight." I know its unhealthy, why couldn't she see it? Any attempt to diet is quickly stopped or hindered because of my lack of willpower and the complete inability to deal with confrontation.

A few years ago, I met my best friend ever (via the internet) and she has also struggled with weight for her life. She and her partner talked to me about this new diet they were going to start on, the Paleo diet. It sounded quite similar to Atkins but I decided to give it ago. I was afraid of scales so I never actually know if I lost any weight during this time but I feel like I did, this was encouraging for me and it gave me a sense of empowerment that I could control my eating over my mother.

The final straw came last year. I went to the doctor to ask to go on birth control. He told me I was too overweight for the 'pill' and I was a risk of clotting. He also took my blood pressure and my blood pressure was high. He then told me he wanted to hook me up to a 24hr monitor and I guess I just freaked out...I'm 30 years old, I shouldn't have to deal with this! I took a stand, no more! At this point, I weighed 20 stone 7lbs. I decided something HAD to change. I started to try Zumba (my sister, who is also overweight) has lost a ton of weight just by doing that (might I just point out here, my mother has nothing to say about my sister wanting to lose weight.....) but my two left feet had other ideas about this. So then I started to power walk every night. But due to back problems this just made it worse. So I did the only thing I knew how, controlling my food intake.

A year on, I have lost 3.5 stone (It was 4 but I put on a stone over the summer being away and eating rubbish) but I find it so hard some days to stay on track, and then I become really hard on myself for slipping off my diet slightly. Enter the 5:2 way of life...I think with the way I have lived so far in my life I have done some significant damage to my body, but I'm still young enough to hopefully repair this damage. And to boot, shift some of this weight.

I have yet to mention this new life style to my mother (I still live at home :confused: ) and I'm sure this will not be an easy battle to win but I am determined to give this my best shot. It might take some time to get the hang of this, but once I have all the kinks sorted out, I'm hoping this will be the best decision I have ever made in my life so far.


Thank you for allowing me to unload some baggage. I hope this is the beginning of a wonderful, healing journey.

In love and peace :heart:
3 replies Page 1 of 1

Really starting to see the effects of 5:2

by daydreamer21 on 24 Oct 2013, 22:29

I know I already made a post about this very subject but I about fit to burst because I am so happy. Today while I was in the local supermarket getting my prescription filled for my painkillers I was perusing their clothes aisles and I came to the jean section- I have an absolute love of jeans! Lately all my jeans have been falling down and are super baggy on my waist (I guess that's what I get for losing 4" off my waist!) Anyway, I came across a pair of size 18 super skinny jeans- I have been wearing size 22 skinny jeans which are no longer skinny but very baggy lol, and my size 20 jeans are falling down also. I was a bit apprehensive about the new jeans because they looked quite small but I still put them in my basket. If they didn't fit, it would give me something to work towards and I would just have to put up with my drooping jeans next week. Well, I got home and eagerly tried them on, the whole time saying over and over "please fit, please fit, please fit" and to my utter astonishment they actually fitted!!!! I could have jumped for joy! I haven't been able to wear a pair of size 18 jeans since I was a teenager. I could never have imagined that I would once again be able to wear them again. I'm almost tempted to go back there any buy every pair they have! All my tops are starting to hang loosely around my tummy area, it's feeling great.

It's really spurring me on to keep going with my fasts and really throw myself into this way of life. I am really looking forward to my second fast tomorrow. I'm finding it so much easier now, this is my fifth week so it's really imbedded in my routine now. My body is used to this now, it knows when it's time for a fast and I feel so much better once I have fasted. I'm also finding my appetite has died down significantly. I'm just not able to eat anywhere near as much as I used to. One thing I really need to change on my non-fast days is drinking a lot more than I currently am. I'm not drinking much in the way of water and I think that's going to play havoc with my weigh ins. Speaking of weigh ins, I took my weight on Wednesday morning after my first fast and I have dropped 2lb, so I'm hoping that's going to show up again on my actual weigh in day on Saturday!

Happy fasting all.

Love, peace and complete happiness :heart: :heart:

Sammy's progress journal
Started 4:3 on 06.01.2014 @ 104.7kg- lets see what 2014 brings
Spring into fall member #55- target: to lose 12lbs! Target weight 85kg!!
3 Comments   Viewed 6384 times

Comments

I feel like doing the weight loss jig for you dear. Well done you and keep up the good work
Hold this thought today: At this rate, you could be buying a size 16 pair for Christmas!
rawkaren wrote: Hold this thought today: At this rate, you could be buying a size 16 pair for Christmas!


hahaha Karen I would have NO objections to that at all, that would be my Christmas miracle :lol:

Carie thank you SO much, please do the jig on my behalf hun lol. I'm so excited by all the changes right now. Thank you for your encouragement and support :heart:
3 replies Page 1 of 1

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