The FastDay Forum

I know my husband always tells me I am fine and thin enough etc. etc. I always thought he sabotaged my weight-loss efforts but perhaps not ????

https://www.yahoo.com/health/your-worst ... 43887.html

Interesting!

Yes, interesting! I have been very fortunate that none of the significant people over the years in my life have ever been critical of how I look - which may be why I haven't spent my life dieting, and been one of the factors in why I was successful this time, once I decided that I did want to lose weight.
It is understandable that people who feel accepted and have good self-esteem are more likely to have less "issues" in general.

[Debs]

Interesting article there. It also depends very much though on ones personal self-esteem I would think. My OH has always been very supportive but it makes no difference to me as I still have low self-esteem so what ever he says makes no difference to me!

My OH has always been very supportive but it makes no difference to me as I still have low self-esteem so what ever he says makes no difference to me!

I HAD to laugh - sounds just like me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Debs]

We're our own worst enemies aren't we parrot?!

[Tracieknits]

(1) that's a very interesting article, thanks for sharing

and

(2) Now I want to reach out to the other side of the planet and give @Debs a giant hug!! You silly goose, you're awesome!

@Debs is right. We are responsible for our own feelings of worth. Which is not to say that it isn't good to have supportive, loving family. But we can't control that. People will say what they like and be who they are. We have to deal with that. But we can all work on building our own self acceptance and learning to love our bodies. Then other people's comments won't be so powerful. I like the idea of having a plan to be ready for family members who you know are going to be critical, like rolling your eyes or having a comment ready for when it happens.

[Debs]

Awwww thank you @Tracieknits, that's very sweet of you . I'm getting better but still hate looking in the mirror to be honest, luckily the one in my room is too high for me to see into

It fits in well with the idea that fat shaming is counter productive. Not that it stops people...

@debs. Know exactly how you feel. Hugs to you.

It was exactly like that for years, for me, I don't have a supportive family and some members, who are not what you can call exactly slim, used to drive me so nuts I would find comfort in food instead. Now I just don't give a hoot about what they think or say, even if they are saying now I must be sick to have slimmed down (and keep the weight off) and still are trying to do some body shame..... I didn't lose or keep off the weight for me but for me and ONLY for me

@Debs Working on self esteem takes time, but it works in the end, promise Maybe people around you are not as supportive as he is ? My crazy but sweet OH has been the only one supportive around me about it and it took some time to understand that only his opinion was important, and the others (even close family) were not.

that was a great article.. really made me think

[carorees]

Interesting article there. It also depends very much though on ones personal self-esteem I would think. My OH has always been very supportive but it makes no difference to me as I still have low self-esteem so what ever he says makes no difference to me!

I think that when our self-esteem is really low, we receive other people's positive comments in a negative way, e.g. "he's only saying that to make me feel better" or "if he thinks I am good looking, he must be crazy" so that however many compliments we get, we refuse to accept them. Learning to love ourselves even a bit makes us more receptive to compliments - so that has to be the first step.

[Debs]

Thank you all for your interesting and supportive posts, and agree entirely about learning to love oneself. I know it has happened in other parts of my life so just need to work on the self image, always the hardest I think. I have a tropical holiday coming up in Jan and was hoping to have made i roads before that but it wasnt to be so I have to spend time trying to gear myself up for a bathing costume I feel comfortable about instead.