The FastDay Forum

Oh thank you so much @marybeths OH! I will pay special attention to chapter 3 xx!

Thank you so much, @marybeth - will look into getting the book shortly. I really appreciate the trouble you took to reply.

What are cognitive distortions.....ooh, I've just re-read the word....does it mean misunderstandings??!! That would be funny......

Oh @Peebles - what a great post and I'm so sorry you had to go through that with your mom!

Hazelnut20 wrote: Thank you so much, @marybeth - will look into getting the book shortly. I really appreciate the trouble you took to reply.

What are cognitive distortions.....ooh, I've just re-read the word....does it mean misunderstandings??!! That would be funny......

Yes, @Hazelnut20, in a way, it does mean misunderstandings In my mind, I always think of them as "dysfunctional ways of thinking" We have a copy of the definitions of the 10 cognitive distortions posted on our refrigerator. Here's one:
ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING: You see things in black-and-white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.

Dr. Burns doesn't expect readers to rely on his book alone; but it has been extremely helpful to many, many people.

Another, perhaps more modern and readable, book is "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman. He's a leader in the cognitive therapy school of psychology, following the teachings and research of Aaron Beck and David Burns. This book helped me a lot when my loved one was depressed. http://www.amazon.com/Learned-Optimism- ... m+seligman

My best wishes to you and to all who struggle with negative self-talk (I think that's all of us at one time or another )

Just reading back here, and some very thoughtful and helpful posts. @peebles and @sallyo I can identify with your comments about seeing a parent deteriorate mentally and physically over years. Especial hugs to @Lizbean at the mo. @Marybeth I too will be ordering that book. @Hazelnut take heart if you can from all the support on here, and yes it is crucial not to be so hard on yourself - peebles post explains why in very direct and unvarnished terms (thank you so much for that peebles it is so refreshing to see it that way!) Sending warm wishes to all on here

@peebles sos orry to read about your mum x reminds me so much of my Dad who lived to age 96.
He was ahead of his time when it came to nutrition - a lifelong healthy eater who walked many miles every day,and worked until he was in his late seventies.
By the time he was in his nineties, he was fed up with life and wanted to go. His vision and hearing were so bad he could no longer do the things he loved - an avid reader who also loved to watch sports on telly ..these simple pleasures now denied him. Hearing went so he could no longer join in conversations. ( heliked nothing more than having a debate with someone about politics or literature ) Then he lost his sense of taste so food held no pleasure. Became very grumpy due to these frustrations and disliked any medics he had to see,who must have seemed like kids to him coz he used to tell them," go and climb some trees in the park!"
His heart and lungs were as strong as an ox tho,so he lingered on for several years. Evena fter he lost his swallow reflex and cdnt eat or drink,he was still here,much to his displeasure.
My Mum had her own health probs but at least when she got seriously ill and died, it only took five days..
So yes i agree...there really are down sides to being " too" healthy x

I'm so mad at myself. I've been doing soooo good for the last 5 weeks, but I blew it this weekend. Yesterday I went to a friend's for her annual 4th of July party and I ate soooo much. She had a table full of deserts (this was after I had appetizers galore and then chicken AND some of a hamburger plus all of the sides) and I tried pretty much everything on that table. Then factor in the alcohol. And today I am supposed to go on a sushi double date. And there are other events this week that will result in huge calorie intakes. I'm scared all of my efforts are going to go to waste this week. Must find self-control! I haven't counted calories in several days now and that always leads to trouble. Bah. Just needed to vent. Anyone else lose control this weekend?

Hey @SammyIam it was 4th July and you had a great time, there is no need to feel you have let yourself down, cos you have not. Yes, you have social arrangements this week, but I bet you are mindful after yesterday and any fasts this week are superb! A learning moment and that is GOOD. Panic not x

Thanks, @lizbean ! You're right. The important thing is that I am recognizing the fact that I was naughty and now I can try to plan a healthy week instead of just self-sabotaging and saying to hell with eating right. Maybe I can try 3 fasts this week to make up for the weekend. We gotta do what we gotta do, right? I tend to forget it's not the end of the world if I have a bad few days. Thanks for reminding me that it's not!

Such is life @sammyiam!

You are adopting a very good approach - moving on & putting it behind you. Life would be very dull without some blowout days....and I suppose it is all about balance. Fasting lets you enjoy the other days! The worst of all worlds would be to have a blowout & then bitterly regret it. Far better to say "well that was nice, but I can't do it every day, so I am choosing to fast now to compensate".

As usual, all this food business is pretty mental! I have internal fights with myself all the time about what I am eating, what I want to eat, what I should be eating, what I shouldn't be eating and so on! All of these battles take place in my head before I reach for any food. I rarely make the right choice...but my favourite saying at the moment is that I am a work in progress.

I haven't fasted for two weeks (long story) but I have decided that today is the day that I take back control. If I let the last two weeks shape my decision, I would never fast again...for I have enjoyed eating without thinking. My body hasn't though! I dread the scales tomorrow...but I have to face up to the damage I've been doing...or else it's the slippery slope for me.

I wish I could get into my head that it is possible to enjoy food...some of the time. What's not possible is to eat mindlessly all of the time. Sometimes I struggle with that, but it's all down to emotions with me. I eat when I am unhappy...and I am unhappy quite a bit of the time.

Anyhow, I just wanted to tell you that your experiences are not remotely unusual, many of us can no doubt relate to what you have written - but the important thing is to start afresh each day...and do your best. Which I'm sure you will!

Best of luck x

Excellent advice already @SammyIAm

I have just had a month doing what you did on one weekend, so don't feel alone in your frustration at yourself! It happens. However, it may be worth thinking about why you continued to eat when you were no longer hungry, and if there are any strategies you could employ on future similar occasions to help you manage your intake - if that is what you want to do. A couple of fast days in quick succession may help you get rid of the excess. If you decide to do 3 fast days in the week, just make sure you don't end up overcompensating on other days. I have found that 3 fasts a week rarely gives me better results than 2 - but of course there are some who regularly do 4:3 (tho I am not sure if their weight loss is more than those on 5:2??). Best wishes and good luck!

@Hazelnut20, I think we have discussed this earlier in this thread, but how are you going coming up with strategies for helping you not use food as a comfort? Have you been able to look at any of the literature suggested? Do you have any access to support for you on this? Sorry to sound like a bit of a nag...

Thanks for the encouragement, @Sassy1 and @hazelnut20! Good to know I'm not alone. I wish I knew why I still eat when I'm not hungry. I just can't help it. I just love food! And if I see it and it looks tasty, I want to eat it. This is why I hate holidays! But, oh well. What's done is done. Now I just have to try and be better this week. @Hazelnut20, I think we share a common issue! I, too, am constantly thinking about food. It's overwhelming at times. I think that's why sometimes, like during holidays, I just say to hell with thinking about food and go a little crazy. Glad to hear that you are back to fasting.

Hi again, @SammyIAm

Just like you I think about food a lot and when I see food that looks tasty I want to eat it. I also have been trying to analyse why I eat when not hungry, so that I can find strategies that will work for me. As you say, holidays are a real challenge.

I just Googled 'always thinking about food' and it brought up a lot of potentially useful references. Here is one that I thought looked okay http://www.dianecarbonell.com/5-ways-to ... -the-time/ and I expect a lot of the others are worth a look too.

Being able to manage our food intake is all about reframing our relationship with food and how we think about food. I have read lots of tips to prevent overeating that make sense, but it is a matter of finding the ones that work for us!

For example, one strategy, when faced with a table loaded with yummy food, is to remind ourselves that we don't need to eat all of it now, as we can have it on another day if we want (most of us are fortunate that we can afford to do this), and we will enjoy it much more if we are hungry when we eat it. Making sure we savour the food as we eat it (little bites, lots of chewing, etc), and don't just stuff if down - not always easy in a social situation, I know. Only putting a smallish portion on a plate, and going away from the food source to eat it. Drinking water. Reminding ourselves that our body is not a rubbish bin. And so on.

Hope you can find the strategies that will work for you - I will let you know of any that I find that work well for me.

I hope you won't beat yourself up @SammyIAm. It was only one day. I like the phrase Amanda S-S uses : 'having a party in your mouth'. It's ok to have a party, but just not every day. I learned on those occasions where there is a lot of food on offer, to only eat the food I really really wanted to. Any food I could pass up, I did pass up - you know, inferior cakes that sort of thing. I have learned to go for the best on offer and like Sassy1 says, have a small bit. That way I don't feel deprived. As soon as there is a hint of deprivation, I have to eat the whole table so i don't miss out. But if I can be moderate, eat the best food, I can cope. And of course, 5:2 is about have at least 2 days when we are super disciplined. @Hazelnut20: I hate to think that you are unhappy a lot of the time. May you find some joy today.

Hi everyone, I am another wobbly faster who eats for comfort and for the happiness it gives. I gave up fasting regularly 18 months ago when my horse suffered an injury. In the big scheme of things that doesn't seem like a major event, I know. But not only was the worry about him constantly nagging on my mind, but I also lost the stress relief that riding gave me. Unfortunately the injury got worse not better, and eventually I had to make the difficult decision to let him go. Not a good-time in my life, and not good for the figure... I bought a new horse last autumn, but unfortunately he has not proved to be the sensible, easy chap he should have been. After 8 months of stress and home made cakes, I have now made the decision to sell him. I am now back to my heaviest weight ever, and have masses of stress in my life. We are trying to sell our house, and feel like we are living in limbo land, waiting to relocate to the west country. My parents have been ill and I have spent some very stressful times with them, and my son has also been in hospital. It all happens at once, doesn't it?

I have always turned to food for comfort, and eating good food is one of the great pleasures in my life. I am sure that will never change. But I have to stop getting bigger. My daughter has just got engaged, so that has focused my mind a bit, and I am now determined that despite all the stress, I am going to get back in control of my eating. Week one of this new regime resulted in three pounds lost, and week two is going well. I must do this. If I keep eating whatever is nearest when I feel down, I will just continue to balloon. Food does cheer me up, but I am trying to cheer myself up by planning tasty food for the next meal or the next day, rather that emptying the peanut butter jar. :$. I really hope I can stick to it...

It is far too easy to consume vast amounts of calories when you are unhappy. I have always done so, and told myself that I will be good when I feel better. That just doesn't work. I have to find a way to use the joy I find in food, but in a less destructive way.

Oh gosh, that turned into a bit of a saga, sorry! Fresh strawberries and blueberries for getting this far.