Hi @Fastingrunner, my anecdotal observation from various IF sites is that feeling out of control with food or over-eating on non-fast days is common.
The
Happy Eaters website has a forum where people discuss useful books. From various IF sites, my anecdotal impression is that it seems as if the sense of deprivation or restriction that accompanies IF for some people can trigger binge eating episodes (my impression is subjective and from people's reports and they tend to be at the less painful end of the clinical continuum - tho' still distressing), a sense of loss of control around food, or over-eating. One of the books that I've regularly seen recommended and commended is:
How to Have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans Too: Stop Binge Eating, Overeating and Dieting For Good Get the Naturally Thin Body You Crave From the Inside Out by Josie Spinardi (it's a Kindle but there's an app. that allows them to be read on phones or computers).
The overviews that I've seen highlight the following points:
The Dieting Triangle of Despair: Diet ---> Binge ---> Beat Self Up for Perceived Lack of Self-Discipline and Resolve to
Diet etc. etc.
Spinardi identifies 7 common reasons why the usual forms of dieting are inappropriate for sustainable, healthy weight loss:
1 Dieting intensifies cravings and preoccupation with food.
2 Dieting makes you eat more, not less. (For every diet there is an equal opposing binge. The extent and ferocity with which you binge is directly proportional to the extent to which you restrict what you eat.)
3 Dieting makes you feel out of control with food.
4 Dieting increases both emotional distress and the likelihood that you'll eat in response to the stress.
5 Dieting creates a whole new category of overeating called "Eating Cuz You Ate."
6 Diets don't model naturally thin eaters' behaviour.
7 Diets do not resolve the real reasons you eat when you're not hungry.
Spinardi emphasises what she calls Hunger-Directed Eating and highlights 5 types of Non-Hunger Eating:
1 Gasping for Food
2 Eating Cuz You Ate (I've blown the FD, I may as well carry on blowing it)
3 Mean Girl Munchies (@scubachick's 'inner bitch' sounds similar to this)
4 Licking Your Wounds
5 Recreational Eating
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"When deprivation is involved, not only to the pounds stay put, your feelings of powerlessness soar. So, an eating approach that completely eliminates deprivation is not only favorable, it is crucial to successfully achieving your long-term leanness."
"Binge eating is the natural result of food restriction, while emotional eating is the result of a (completely solvable) deficit in one's emotional management skill set."
[Re: food choices} "Because managing your behavior by an iron will - rather than autopilot - is a constant, energy-draining source of conflict and tension. You're in an undending arm wrestle between "Do It!" and "Don't do it!" The instant you're weakened, distracted, or slightly off your game, your resolve caves in the direction of whatever is the least painful, and most pleasurable in that moment."
"Hunger Directed Eating is not the Eat-When-You're-Hungry-and-Stop-When-You're-Full Diet. This completely undermines the effectiveness of these body-connecting habits by turning them into a diet with two rules--waiting until you're hungry and stopping when you're full. As we've seen, all sorts of things go (terribly) wrong when we introduce rules into our eating. Foremost, it leads directly to more overeating."
"If physical hunger isn't what launched your current eating episode, then how in the world is being satisfied going to be what signals you to stop? Hunger and fullness are like two bookends. If hunger is what starts you eating, then feeling satisfied would naturally be what makes it easy to stop. However, if feeling frustrated with a project at work is what initiated your eating, then what is your signal to stop? When the problem is solved? When the chips and salsa are gone? When you hear someone coming down the hall?"
Some people don't seem to feel deprived or restricted with IF but others do - it's not clear why and it seems that feelings towards fast days can change over time.
As far as I can tell, people tend to pick the bits of the book that work for them and ditch the parts that feel like they'd be onerous (such as her suggestion to check in with yourself after various food choices and meals and record your rating for hunger, mood, energy and concentration at various times ).
In the past year, I've seen a number of people on a different forum adopt Spinardi's advice in various food areas and they've mostly reported positive changes in their drive to binge or over-eat or they've regained such a sense of calm with food that they describe it as empowerment that they've never previously experienced.
I've no idea if any of the above might be helpful to you. I've seen several references to her videos on YouTube and they're well received. Good Luck.