FastDay User Blogs

Three months on from starting this amazing process I am mentally hugging myself on a daily basis. I have lost 11 kg's and am now the thinnest/lightest I have been for probably over a decade! I am still amazed and astonished and in awe of how my body has responded to this way of fasting.
I didn't think I could do it initially, I was a slave to the belief that going without food for even a few hours was not good. How wrong I was. I love fasting! It makes me feel full of life and energy and I can almost imagine myself repairing on a cellular level lol.
This may sound a bit weird but some mornings when I wake up I have a check in with my body. I feel the differences the change in weight has made. At 56 my skin is beginning to lose it's elasticity. I have been very lucky genetically and am blessed with good skin but the ravages of time are taking their toll which makes me sad. I try to accept it but it's a timely reminder of my mortality and occasionally the reason for some tearful moments.
Plus as any of you that are mothers know, having babies does horrible things to your body! The skin that stretched to accommodate two pregnancies never quite went back to it's original (less than flat in the first place)condition. Add to that the weight loss and my skin is getting decidedly baggy! All over!
I have always had body issues. I am an anorexic without starving myself...no disrespect intended. I look in the mirror and see a fat person no matter what size I am. Lately after seeing a ginormous fat OLD person in the mirror I now see someone who is slimmer (still old lol) but I am starting to like what I see as long as I keep my clothes on.
Lucky or unluckily, being single means there is no one to see me naked and add to my lack of confidence. I wish I had a partner/OH to share and be intimate with but it's not likely. I Imagine I would go through horrors of doubt should I get to intimate with someone again! Might save on electricity as I wouldn't turn the lights on!
Where was I? Oh yes, feeling the changes in my body. Enjoying finding where my ribs end and my belly starts. Having to put a cushion on my wooden computer desk chair because it made my bum ache. Touching my toes easily. Swinging up easily into the saddle when I get on my horse. Stopping walking and NOT feeling my body fat carry on moving. Doing a double take as I glimpse my arms out of the corner of my eye as I work in a short sleeved t-shirt and admiring how thin they look. The joy of having to check the size label on my jeans in case I put an old pair on having forgotten I am a size 12 and these feel loose but they are a size 12. Digging out all my riding clothes I put away when I got fat and finding they are all big enough to layer on. I can look relatively smart when riding again and feeling at least slightly athletic and being able to play with my horse more energetically. I am sure she appreciates there is less of me to carry around too.
All these things I am so grateful for even though I can hardly believe it has happened and so quickly. Sometimes I have a bad dream in which I am fatter again and wake up with a start only to find it's really true. I am thinner after all.
I have a Christmas goal of losing a couple of kilos but might have to move the goal posts and choose a lower weight. Amazing!!