Wife wondered aloud which foods would be most helpful in losing weight.
husband muttered under his breath "The food you leave in the fridge."
That's when the fight started!
--------
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace Expensive... So, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started.
---
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?' And that's when the fight started...
------
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first… 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' And that's how the fight started...
-----
A husband just finished reading a book called "You CAN be the MAN of your House"
. He immediately stormed into the kitchen where his wife was and announced, "from now on, you need to understand and be perfectly clear with the fact that I AM THE MAN OF THIS HOUSE and my word is LAW. You WILL prepare me a gourmet dinner tonight and once I'm done eating it you WILL serve me a sumptuous dessert. Then you WILL come upstairs with me and we WILL have WHATEVER kind of sex I want. Then you WILL draw me a hot bath.You WILL wash me, towel me dry and bring me my robe and a cigar and brandy. While I drink and smoke you WILL massage my feet. Then in the morning guess who WILL dress me, comb my hair, get me ready for work and make me breakfast? The wife replied, The coroner would be my first guess. ... and that's when the fight started.
-------
The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing.The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
She said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."
She looked at the men in the room, "Gentlemen, remember, you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her."
The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.
"Yes?" answered the Instructor.
"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk ?"
And that's when the fight started.....
------
An old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat.
His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, 'Where are you going?'
He replies, 'I'm going to the doctor.'
She says, 'Why, are you sick?'
He says, 'Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff.'
Immediately the wife gets out of her rocker, gets her coat out of the closet and puts it on.
He says, 'Where the heck are you going'?
She answers, 'I'm going to the doctor, too.'
He says, 'Why, what do you need?'
She says, 'If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a Tetanus shot.'
And that's how the fight started....
-----
My son, taking his first driving lesson, gets behind the wheel of the car. He rolls down the window and asks me, just as his mother is getting in the passenger side, "Does this car have passenger side air bags?" I said, "It does now."
Thats when the fight REALLY started!
husband muttered under his breath "The food you leave in the fridge."
That's when the fight started!
--------
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace Expensive... So, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started.
---
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?' And that's when the fight started...
------
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first… 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' And that's how the fight started...
-----
A husband just finished reading a book called "You CAN be the MAN of your House"
. He immediately stormed into the kitchen where his wife was and announced, "from now on, you need to understand and be perfectly clear with the fact that I AM THE MAN OF THIS HOUSE and my word is LAW. You WILL prepare me a gourmet dinner tonight and once I'm done eating it you WILL serve me a sumptuous dessert. Then you WILL come upstairs with me and we WILL have WHATEVER kind of sex I want. Then you WILL draw me a hot bath.You WILL wash me, towel me dry and bring me my robe and a cigar and brandy. While I drink and smoke you WILL massage my feet. Then in the morning guess who WILL dress me, comb my hair, get me ready for work and make me breakfast? The wife replied, The coroner would be my first guess. ... and that's when the fight started.
-------
The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing.The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
She said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."
She looked at the men in the room, "Gentlemen, remember, you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her."
The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.
"Yes?" answered the Instructor.
"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk ?"
And that's when the fight started.....
------
An old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat.
His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, 'Where are you going?'
He replies, 'I'm going to the doctor.'
She says, 'Why, are you sick?'
He says, 'Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff.'
Immediately the wife gets out of her rocker, gets her coat out of the closet and puts it on.
He says, 'Where the heck are you going'?
She answers, 'I'm going to the doctor, too.'
He says, 'Why, what do you need?'
She says, 'If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a Tetanus shot.'
And that's how the fight started....
-----
My son, taking his first driving lesson, gets behind the wheel of the car. He rolls down the window and asks me, just as his mother is getting in the passenger side, "Does this car have passenger side air bags?" I said, "It does now."
Thats when the fight REALLY started!
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