Well, 66 years old, what can one say, I feel OLD, that's what one can say. Where did it all go to and will the next 66 years be as much fun?
I got up this morning to the loveliest sight I've ever seen, no, not hubs in a tutu to make me feel at home but a whole plethora of good wishes on the 5:2 website. I really wanted to party with you all and say, “Drinks on me” I suppose I still can say that as the bar bill will only be a virtual bill and we can all afford one of those, so, here goes, “THE DRINKS ARE ON ME, SO, FILL THY BOOTS FOLKS!' Oooohhh, that was good! Thank you SO much to everyone who took the time to send such lovely best wishes, you have no idea how much I appreciate your kind thoughts, you have all made a happy woman very old.
We caught the pensioner fun bus into town this morning to meet up with friends for lunch at a lovely little Italian restaurant that is a favourite with all of us, but first I went shopping. Into my favourite tiny dress shop (the shop is tiny, some of the dresses not so!) and I picked out a little linen number I'd had my eye on for a while so, if not today, when? The answer, obviously was today. I was just about to pay for it when my eye wandered to a dress on display, half way up a wall, how did I not notice this before? It was one of those bandage dresses so beloved by celebrities and it looked just gorgeous. This must be how love at first sight feels, I had to have it. It started at the neck as very pale silvery grey and as you looked down each piece of bandage became darker and darker till by the hem it was black. WOW! Back into the changing room and into the dress. If only it had been that simple, but as a now seasoned bandage wrapping woman this should be no problem. Good heavens this was almost as bad as getting myself into the Actiderm kit but without the cling film so with hindsight, it was a doddle. Right, I'm in and I have managed to do up the Victoria Beckham style zip on the back, phew, I need a drink and a sit down but first a quick look in the mirror. Ladies, I have to tell you that this is the way to go, I'm not one for feeling good about my body, blimey that is an understatement, but, WOW, no wonder celebrities love these dresses. Front, back, side, it was all just amazing, Mimi Spencer, eat your heart out!!!! If you lot could have seen me you would have lobbied Parliament to have me force fed chip butties until I looked normal again., i.e. with a spare tyre and a big fat belly. I would have bought the offending garment but for two things, one, the price, too many zeros on the tag , my eyes could not compute, and two, it was too short, giving it a rather unfortunate Ivana Trump look. The lovely Ivana and I were both recently in St Tropez at the same time and we are approximately the same age but other than that we have absolutely nothing else in common even though I'm sure she is a nice lady in spite of her sartorial choices. I'm also sure that the bloke that rearranged her face, what was he called again, Oh yes, Stanley Knife M.D, (M.D. Obviously stands for 'Mad Dude') is also lovely but I have no plans to meet up with the jovial Stan, I call him that as I assume he has a good sense of humour! Back on the shelf again for the dress, I imagine this is how love at first sight ends as well!
On to another shop where they also had bandage dresses, in a longer length, in shocking pink and at a much more reasonable price. Actually this one looked quite good and had it been a normal dress then the size would have been perfect but (and I'm a fast learner) you need them to be JUST ever so slightly tight to get the right effect and they did not have the next size down. Lets face it. A baggy bandage dress would really not cut the mustard on the red carpet so another one went back onto the rails. Not prepared to give up the search for bandage style clothes (does this mean I am now displaying victim/hypochondriac tendencies?) I found a rather nice 'Julian McDonald top in black with cream bandage bits on it and they had it in the requisite 'slightly too small' size, it also had ¾ length sleeves so this was perfect, hey, happy birthday to me!!!! That Actiderm body wrap thing has a lot to answer for.
I then met everyone else for lunch. Lots of bubbly, chicken something and chefs home made almond tart with cream. It was all lovely until hubs dribbled cream all down the front of his trousers, what can you say? What I said was, 'I'm not walking through the streets with you looking like that, what will folk think?” He told me what folk would think but it is not suitable for this forum, just use your overactive imaginations!
All in all, a great day and thank you everyone again for you kind thoughts and best wishes. Next up will be the tale of how the lads got on when we let them go shopping together without us, but that is for another day when you have got bored of my ramblings, until then, all my love,
Ballerina x
I got up this morning to the loveliest sight I've ever seen, no, not hubs in a tutu to make me feel at home but a whole plethora of good wishes on the 5:2 website. I really wanted to party with you all and say, “Drinks on me” I suppose I still can say that as the bar bill will only be a virtual bill and we can all afford one of those, so, here goes, “THE DRINKS ARE ON ME, SO, FILL THY BOOTS FOLKS!' Oooohhh, that was good! Thank you SO much to everyone who took the time to send such lovely best wishes, you have no idea how much I appreciate your kind thoughts, you have all made a happy woman very old.
We caught the pensioner fun bus into town this morning to meet up with friends for lunch at a lovely little Italian restaurant that is a favourite with all of us, but first I went shopping. Into my favourite tiny dress shop (the shop is tiny, some of the dresses not so!) and I picked out a little linen number I'd had my eye on for a while so, if not today, when? The answer, obviously was today. I was just about to pay for it when my eye wandered to a dress on display, half way up a wall, how did I not notice this before? It was one of those bandage dresses so beloved by celebrities and it looked just gorgeous. This must be how love at first sight feels, I had to have it. It started at the neck as very pale silvery grey and as you looked down each piece of bandage became darker and darker till by the hem it was black. WOW! Back into the changing room and into the dress. If only it had been that simple, but as a now seasoned bandage wrapping woman this should be no problem. Good heavens this was almost as bad as getting myself into the Actiderm kit but without the cling film so with hindsight, it was a doddle. Right, I'm in and I have managed to do up the Victoria Beckham style zip on the back, phew, I need a drink and a sit down but first a quick look in the mirror. Ladies, I have to tell you that this is the way to go, I'm not one for feeling good about my body, blimey that is an understatement, but, WOW, no wonder celebrities love these dresses. Front, back, side, it was all just amazing, Mimi Spencer, eat your heart out!!!! If you lot could have seen me you would have lobbied Parliament to have me force fed chip butties until I looked normal again., i.e. with a spare tyre and a big fat belly. I would have bought the offending garment but for two things, one, the price, too many zeros on the tag , my eyes could not compute, and two, it was too short, giving it a rather unfortunate Ivana Trump look. The lovely Ivana and I were both recently in St Tropez at the same time and we are approximately the same age but other than that we have absolutely nothing else in common even though I'm sure she is a nice lady in spite of her sartorial choices. I'm also sure that the bloke that rearranged her face, what was he called again, Oh yes, Stanley Knife M.D, (M.D. Obviously stands for 'Mad Dude') is also lovely but I have no plans to meet up with the jovial Stan, I call him that as I assume he has a good sense of humour! Back on the shelf again for the dress, I imagine this is how love at first sight ends as well!
On to another shop where they also had bandage dresses, in a longer length, in shocking pink and at a much more reasonable price. Actually this one looked quite good and had it been a normal dress then the size would have been perfect but (and I'm a fast learner) you need them to be JUST ever so slightly tight to get the right effect and they did not have the next size down. Lets face it. A baggy bandage dress would really not cut the mustard on the red carpet so another one went back onto the rails. Not prepared to give up the search for bandage style clothes (does this mean I am now displaying victim/hypochondriac tendencies?) I found a rather nice 'Julian McDonald top in black with cream bandage bits on it and they had it in the requisite 'slightly too small' size, it also had ¾ length sleeves so this was perfect, hey, happy birthday to me!!!! That Actiderm body wrap thing has a lot to answer for.
I then met everyone else for lunch. Lots of bubbly, chicken something and chefs home made almond tart with cream. It was all lovely until hubs dribbled cream all down the front of his trousers, what can you say? What I said was, 'I'm not walking through the streets with you looking like that, what will folk think?” He told me what folk would think but it is not suitable for this forum, just use your overactive imaginations!
All in all, a great day and thank you everyone again for you kind thoughts and best wishes. Next up will be the tale of how the lads got on when we let them go shopping together without us, but that is for another day when you have got bored of my ramblings, until then, all my love,
Ballerina x
Belated happy birthday! (I read t as bondage bash!
