The FastDay Forum

Hey everyone

First of all, I feel I should apologise in advance. I feel like I just use the forum 90% of the time to unload my thoughts and what is going on in my life, rather than using it to talk about the 5:2 and to help others. It's just it is a good place for me to talk about things that are stressing me out and going round and round in my head!

Secondly, I'm feeling good! I'm on day 18 of no booze and I don't like to blow my own trumpet - but I'm quite proud to say that. A few weeks ago, booze was controlling my life. There, I said it. Maybe it still is, in some ways, but I feel like I am changing that. The less I have, the less I want! I am going on holiday on Saturday for a week and I know I will be drinking then. BUT it will be sharing a bottle of wine over dinner, or a cider in the sun, not drinking to get blottoed so that I have the guts to dance/talk to people etc. Which was what was happening before. I'm not that un-confident a person and I have since proved by having a few sober nights out in the past couple of weeks, I can talk to people and dance whilst sober! I just feel better! I feel like I know myself again, I have more money and I'm saving a lot of calories!

But, alas, my problem.. my friends. Don't get me wrong, they are all fantastic girls! And most of them are being supportive, or they just make one 'have a drink' comment, and then leave it for the rest of the night when I decline. But there are a couple who just won't drop it and I was actually starting to get angry on Saturday night when it kept on.
It is one of these girls birthday in a couple of weeks and there will be a massive pub crawl WHICH I AM MORE THAN HAPPY TO GO TO, all day, all night if it lasts that long. I am happy to go and not drink. I don't sit there being 'bored' and 'sober' but I know this won't be good enough. I will dance and have a good time, I just don't want to drink. When I get back from my holiday I want to go back to not drinking, unless I feel like it. If I do feel like it, I will drink at her birthday, but if not, I won't be drinking 'for the sake of it'. Does this make me a bore?

Sorry to rabbit on. I know that I used to be one of these annoying people that would keep on at someone if they weren't drinking, and having thought about it, it was because it made me feel guilty/bad for having to drink to have a good time, and they didn't need to. Do I assume this is the case with these friends? How do I go about it?

It's playing on my mind a little bit. I feel like when I don't drink, it affects these people and ruins their night but deep down I know that's silly!

Any advice?
Thanks so much in advance for letting me unload.

Lil

Hi Lil, isnt that what this forum is about, to help each other be it the fast diet or any other problems. Im happy that you have conquered the booze
As for your friends maybe they dont like to be reminded that they might need to cut down on it too. Stick to your guns and eventually they will get over it.
I hope you have an amazing holiday (maybe some photos?)
Also Ive always like seeing your name, makes me give a Little Smile

Nice to see you back

Mimi Spencer wrote about this problem of NOT social drinking a while ago in the You magazine.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/art ... -cold.html

My view: they will get bored eventually and just let it be, or you will get fed up and drop them. Real friends don't encourage bad habits.

[Debs]

Hello there,
Sounds as though you just need to stick to the people whom you know are supportive. The ones you mention know they have a problem and are doing the same as people do when they offer you food! They don't have the self control that you do and want you to fail.
Be strong!

Thanks everyone.

I've been reading up on it a lot which helps. It's just made me doubt myself a bit.. do they think I'm no fun sober? Not very good for the old self esteem! (especially when I think of myself as good fun).

Well done on the alcohol ban @LilSmiler You've done
a good long spell, secondly have a great holiday enjoy everything you do because holidays are for
enjoying and relaxing.
You said you used to be one of those who may have "nagged" people to have a drink so you know those friends who did that last week don't actually mean any harm at all, however if they've also noticed you're slimmer + happier+ healthier then it could be the green eyed monster, take no notice of them few at all just keep saying NO positively when they push you to far if necessary be even firmer they will soon get the message if they don't heed your wishes them they aren't true friends.
Good. Luck

@Lilsmiler. I'm with you on this although its my work colleagues who don't help (all men). I'm on booze ban this week whilst I'm back in the UK. Too much Californian wine in the last 3 months.... Well done to you for giving up.

Hi @LilSmiler

Well done on taking control over the alcohol rather than letting it control your life - that is a fantastic achievement in itself.

I had a lightbulb moment a few months ago when I realised that there were times when I wanted to have a drink (on a Friday evening after a stressful week at work and also because it is my date night with my DH ) and when I didn't (eg on a Sunday afternoon if we had gone to my MIL's for Sunday lunch). When I started to decline and say I was happy with a soft drink, I noticed a couple of things -

Firstly, people (my MIL or friends) kept on quite a bit saying was i sure I didn't fancy one, was I not feeling 100% etc and....

Secondly, they were the same people who were talking about me not eating enough, pressurising me to have dessert and such like - so....

Stick to what you feel like doing - no one knows you as well as you know yourself - whether your friends are saying these things for the right or wrong reasons, once they see you are sticking to your guns, they will hopefully stop trying to get you to change your own mind.

Have a lovely holiday

[carieoates]

Well done Miss Smiler, I bet you feel a hell of a lot better for offloading. Such strength you are showing just by not giving in and having a drink. It is easier the longer you abstain.

All good advice, I think we can all relate to this problem. One way I cut down, or abstain, on girly nights is to nominate myself as the driver, no one ever questions why a driver is not drinking. Have a great holiday, oh, and by the way, I love wine and have more than my share often so don't think I'm talking from a boring, sober perspective it's just that I don't enjoy getting tipsy.

Ballerina x

Keep on doing what you are doing @LilSmiler - because you are doing it so well!

All the comments have been so helpful & supportive that I probably can't add much. I just want to echo what is being said to you - well done for taking control and more importantly, for recognising that you can take control. Only you decide what to eat & drink. People may egg you on (bleugh, hate eggs myself!) but don't give them the power to divert you from your mission. You have the ultimate control over it...and have proved that you really can do it!

The other important point is to recognise that people have their own agendas where you are concerned & will try to feed you/encourage you to drink for their own reasons. Don't allow them, whatever you do! Stay true to yourself and your own targets. Have a happier and healthier life than these so-called friends. If they don't support you, then I would really question whether they fall into the usual category of "friend"......maybe they should be relegated to acquaintance if they don't want the absolute best for you....because that is my definition of "friend"....

Good luck - am rooting for you!!!

Sound like you are being sensible about looking after yourself. Just ignore the comments from those who are uncomfortable about your not getting plastered its only peer pressure. Good on you for your efforts is it making a difference to your weight loss