The FastDay Forum

Me again, hey I am a bit post happy this evening but I'll run with it.

I am a parent to 2 young children. I work very part time, about 1 day a week or more or less depending. I have always been a shift worker and have always had a bit of tiredness and sleep deprivation associated with the changeable shifts. Now I cannot ask which is harder as I don't think they are comparable in that way but I am interested to know which people find more tiring.

i have to say I am absolutely shattered most of the time. I do not get time to do make up or hair and I am lucky if I can find a matching outfit to wear. I don't go to the gym and I really cannot think of any regular time I have to myself. I am not complaining at all, just saying how it is.

However, so many other mums they do not seem to be the busy, exhausted, no time for self (but still happy) parent that I am. My children are poor poor sleepers and I think this has a lot to do with it, I think you could probably count less than ten times I have slept through the night for about 4 years. So for those of you who have done or are doing it what do you think is more tiring?

With a fulltime job,you usually know exactly what time you clock on and off.plus there's interaction with colleagues,job satisfaction,paypacket etc..your job may be tiring but its hours are set.( tho working shifts can be extremely tiring)
A Stay at home mum can be on the go 24/7/ 365 with no official " knocking off" time..
you can have the children in a great routine but it's very hard work,and there's no salary at the end of the month tho the emotional rewards can be enormous!
You are both working and looking after the kids and getting worst of both worlds really .... I wish you could rejig things so you get more rest and better quality of life
Are you alone with the children ( in which case you need some "me" time)or is yr hub there too?( in which case you need some " us" time as well as me time) just to make life more fulfilling.
When my daughter was very young,i worked nights in a club,while her Dad was home and he was working in the daytime when i was at home.That worked out great, i loved spending the days with my child,and knew she was safe and sleeping when i was at work.

I know you're happy but i hope you can find a way to get some more sleep/ get more out of life x

You missed a third option, that of caring for disabled or old family members. I would rather be working than a carer. But having babysat my neighbors kids yesterday for 11 hours I wouldn't want to go back to being a full time parent any time soon.

I am loving being a stay-at-home mum after years of working full time. But as my kids are at uni, it doesn't quite compare with having little ones!!

One of the many reasons for giving up paid full time work was that I had no energy for anything else. That was due to my age and a stressful work environment, as well as long hours away from home.

I wish I had never worked full time once I had children - I didn't realise this til too late obviously. If, as a mum, you can manage to only work part time, and not til the kids are at school, then I think that is generally optimal, but I know lots of mothers don't really have a choice about their working situation, for all sorts of reasons.

I think you need to find as many sources of support as you can, and try to set realistic expectations for yourself. But I know it is not always easy, especially when there are particularly challenging family (or work) situations. And when you don't get enough sleep, it is especially difficult.

Lots of verbal support here of course!

I find working a break from my caring responsibilities and have often took on agency work when I was exhausted from being a ft mum. It was a lovely break where I got financial recompense from bring able to talk to other adults (and work too, of course )
My youngest is almost 13, but severely disabled and therefore very hard work. But what I find hardest is the way people view me (or my impression of how I am viewed) It feels like I'm not doing anything worthwhile. I no longer contribute to society financially.
I have take that bull by the horns and am now working extremely part time doing nails.
But in answer to your question.......parenting is much more tiring than working. In being a mum you put your everything into it, and you're on call 24/7. Most of us do what we need to do for work and leave the stress at the office. Plus, you get paid for working and even get paid holidays!