The FastDay Forum

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?


Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet...


I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!


I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!


Old age is coming at a really bad time!


When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment... now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!


The biggest lie I tell myself is... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."


Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!


I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.


My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.


Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.


If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.


The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".


I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.


When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people"?


I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my wife took it!


Even duct tape can't fix stupid... but it can muffle the sound!


Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?


Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.


Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?


At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.



Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree... that makes it a plant which means... chocolate is Salad!!!

bahahahaha Thanks!!!

You'rewelcome WineO@wineoclock ! I' m sitting here talking to the wall and telling myself jokes coz i can't sleep gahhhhhhh! X
Its good to know someone else is alive!x

Well @CandiceMarie its only 2.22pm here so I should be awake .
Really hot and humid here so Im just sitting on the computer sort of wasting time.
Hope you get some sleep

Thank you WineO x
I' m gonna try again to get some zeds...

Think peaceful thoughts....ommmmmmm.....ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

Pretend the alarm has gone off and you have to get up, that usually makes me really sleepy.

My breakfast today: Coffee and nourishing laughter and giggles. Thanks, Candice!
Hope you got some sleep after posting this fun.

When I have insomnia I will stay in bed and listen to my autosuggestion-CD. Sometimes over and over again. That works for me.

Time is never wasted but it can be spilled, as in idling, dreaming, cogitating.
Some of my best adventures are on spilled time.

Wonderful @CandiceMarie - I would like to share this one with you all....

When I get old I don't want people thinking "what a sweet little old lady"... I want them saying "Oh crap? what's she up to now?"

cheers
Maggie.

Hi@maggiee i know! I refuse to become a sweet old lady! X
Hi AB,@AzureBlue i like thisJohn Lennon quote! X

cool pic. Reminds me of my Granny (though not smoking ^^). She had her 101. birthday last year. Guess what gift she got that very day? Came from the German national soccer (football) team... hi hi.

* IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD*
1) You can't count your hair.
2) You can't wash your eyes with soap.
3) You can't breathe when your tongue is out.Put your tongue back
in your mouth, you silly person.
*TEN (10) THINGS I KNOW ABOUT YOU *
1)You are reading this.
2) You are human.
3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without
separating your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at
yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.
Have a great Day.
Laugh, and then Laugh and sing It's a Beautiful Morning even when it's not.! XX

I did it all and now Im laughing, Thanks again

Wonderful @CandiceMarie - I would like to share this one with you all....

When I get old I don't want people thinking "what a sweet little old lady"... I want them saying "Oh crap? what's she up to now?"

cheers
Maggie.

I think I hit this goal yesterday when I turned 74, although I think that sometimes OH is embarrassed by my feisty attitude--he's a much more gentle person than I am.