The FastDay Forum

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin - Lillian Carter
(mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: -
'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' - Eleanor Roosevelt

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending;
and to have the two as close together as possible - George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat- Alex Levine

Money can't buy you happiness.... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. -Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.- W. C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal

And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.

*May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and
may nothing but happiness come through your door.*

LOVE TO ALL XOX

Thanks for the laugh dear CM :0)

I stopped collecting fridge magnets when we refitted our kitchen and got a posh new black fridge freezer but whilst on holiday this week couldn't resist this one........a quote to make all us 5:2 choccie lovers smile:-
DIET TIP : Eat a bar of chocolate before each meal.
It'll take the edge off your appetite and you will eat less !

"In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -

Erma Bombeck

A few gems in there, many thanks for that,

Ballerina x

So many classics that never date. I loved them all. Thanks!