The FastDay Forum

Hi everyone

I'm hoping for some advice, or opinions please...
I currently work 20 hours a week as a catering assistant in a job that I do not feel very secure in. The owner (who also works there) is trying to sell the business, this was his first venture into owning a business and into the catering sector, I think it's fair to say he doesn't like it and wants out - he is very moody, quite petty, tight when it comes to money and sometimes doesn't appear to know what he is doing.
The manager is his step-daughter of sorts, they don't get on. She is younger than me but very opinionated and already set in her ways. Sometimes they get on, sometimes they don't - there can be an awful atmosphere in there unless I'm working with one or the other, then they seem fine. There are two other people that work there only a couple of shifts a week, one at college, one at uni.
The only pay rises I have had in two years are the ones that are forced because of minimum wage going up. I have no opportunity to progress. I get sent home if the place is very quiet and I feel like I am constantly watching my back. My partner (children's dad) seems to point the finger at me , asking when I will get a full time job - but then we would have to pay for a childminder if we were both full time, plus there are no flaming jobs! I feel guilty and like I am the problem even though we both agreed that I would only work part time after the children were born.
I have been looking to get another part time job but I can't find anything to suit, what with having two small children in school (they are 4 + 6). We get tax credits help but are still struggling somewhat financially, I am constantly in my overdraft and even struggle to pay my bus fare to work sometimes. I just don't know what to do anymore - I was wondering about becoming a stay at home mum until the children are older and I have the time to have a full time job - but I am afraid that as I got back into the working loop straight after having children, I will get zero help at all and we will be even worse off. HMRC won't help me to figure out what's best and I don't know where to go or what to do!
Are there any mums out there that went back to being stay at home after having worked? Does anyone have any advice, please? This is driving me bonkers and occasionally making me feel really down as I feel completely stuffed
If you read this far, sorry for the rant & thanks for sticking with me!
Any advice would be much appreciated x

[Moogie]

I'm afraid the only advice I can offer is that you should book an appointment with your local Citizen's Advice Bureau - they're really helpful and will be able to tell you exactly what you'd be entitled to if you lost your job and opted to be a stay at home mum.

Well, there is one more thing I can say - everything happens for a reason, whether we can see it at the time or not. Things do work out for the best in the end, it's just a case of patience and trying not to stress. I know it's easier said than done, but I've been through a few awful times in life and can say with certainty that I'm better off for having been through them and I wouldn't be where I am today without having been through the bad stuff.

Just remember we're all here to support you any time you need to vent

Thanks Moogie, it sometimes feels like I'm going round in circles with the work/life balance & like my head is going to pop off if I think about it anymore! I worked for Thomas Cook for 12 years but had to leave there once the children were born as they couldn't incorporate a cut in hours. Thought I had it figured out but since the new owners of the business took over (mentioned in OP), I've felt like I could be out on my ear at any time! I will look into the CAB and see if I can get an appointment.

Going to try and not let it dull my mood too much, was in such a good mood this morning and then it was all sapped out of me at work!!

Hi Sophie, unfortunately I can't help about the benefits side of thing. I am a stay at home mum at the moment and my little one starts nursery in September so starting to think about job opportunities available for mums, I found this website and looks like there are some possibilities, even some working from home, http://www.workingmums.co.uk/

No advice, but didn't want to read and run as it sounds like you're in a really tricky place. I must admit, I've often been very relieved not to have kids when I hear friends try to juggle their lives. Good luck. Hope things look brighter soon.

I was a working mum until my first child was 2 and like you, felt like I continuously juggled work, my child, money and my partner. I decided when number 2 came along to stay at home, and whilst it was a financial burden, and we couldn't afford many luxuries, it was definately the right thing to do at the time. Kids are now 7 and 5, and I started work again 18 months ago, but from home, and now feel I have a better balance. But really what I wanted to say, is get the financial advice first, and then you will feel more secure with your decision no matter what the outcome. Good luck!

Gottabeslim, what do you do from home?

Sophie, there is a website that I suggest to people i work with. Its an organsiation called Turn2Us www.turn2us.org.uk. There is a benefit calculator on there, lots of advice and info as well as a freephone helpline. Hope this helps.

Could you get a loan and buy the business?

You'd be the boss and you could look after your kids at work rather than hiring a child-minder.

Alternatively, could you find a job where you work from home? Are you craft-y? You could make things and sell them on Etsy.

Can't help with advice or money...so I'm sending a BIG HUG...your way xxx

[Tracieknits]

Same here -- no ideas, just hugs for you!

Hi Sophie

What an awful bind! [hugs]

What are your cooking skills like? You say you're a catering assistant - is it possible for you to make cakes, etc, and sell them at your local Country market?

For several years I used to sell my bread at the Taunton branch - it kept me going until my teaching took off.

Best wishes, B&W

Ps. Moogie, we need a 'hugs' emoticon, please!

Ps. Moogie, we need a 'hugs' emoticon, please!

B&W, we have two!

Thanks, Jemima.

But I hope you don't mind me saying I'm distinctly underwhelmed, I have to say. Don't even know what that means. Hug left and hug right.

If you look at this example, the meaning is obvious:

http://www.wildfood.info/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=9357&view=unread&sid=da83a301532d2c8514af45bfb97e6721#p235845

The emoticons on there are far superior - IMO!

Hi Sophie,
My only suggestion is to become a child minder yourself. It is an option and I know that good child care is hard to find. Talk to your local authority and see about child minding you will be home with your kids as well.

Jacqui