The FastDay Forum

I am currently reading a book written by an American author Anne Kreamer called Going Gray that you can buy second hand on Amazon. It is very thought provoking with insights into the psychological/ social pressure of particularly those born after the war when the possibility of changing ones appearance became very fashionable. This book tells of her realisation that she looked her age even with coloured hair & her "journey" from coloured to grey hair despite the diverse advice she received welcomed or otherwise.
Well I am at the badger stage with about 1 & 1/2 inches of steel grey/ silver root showing & a horrible auburn/light brown orangey coloured rest of me. I have already had 3 or 4 inches cut off & am due to go to my hairdresser next week where I will have more cut off & I am hoping she can find some sort of rinse that can tone down this horrible orangey colour. I am having my doubts because I have always been told I look younger than my age of 66 & I am wondering at my age how much of me is tied up with how I look? or at my age is my inner self so strong now that it doesn't matter how I look? If so why do I put on make up before I go out & try to ensure that my clothes are colour coordinated & reasonably presentable? & I am of course still wanting to lose more weight & stay healthy. I know this is a personal decision but how have you all dealt with being perceived as getting & looking older?
How much social conditioning is there to still look good or is it personal pride to "not let oneself go"?

I just love it when I see someone with a sassy haircut and they are grey. It is usually a good shortish style to suit their face. I am still having blond highlights are tell my hairdresser to leave my distinguished grey temples alone as I have earnt them. I am finding I am dressing a bit sassier myself showing my legs now they are slimmer. Being careful not to look silly for my age but I also think age is a state of mind. Feeling good comes from the inside

I have felt invisible often especially standing at a counter waiting to be served. I think ageism is alive and kicking so I am wary to go grey just yet but when I do I will have a sassy hair style and wardrobe to match which is chic

Isis, age is just a number, it doesn't matter so much as feeling good about yourself. When we do our best to look good, even something as simple as a little lipstick makes so much difference to our self esteem. Quite the opposite when we feel that something is not quite right - orangey hair, or in my case a broken front tooth (the filling came away last week), can make us self conscious even though most people probably wouldn't notice or care. Family and friends love us for who we are whatever we look like.

Personal pride or social conditioning? I think a bit of both.

I'm 67, I live in a rural area and most of the time I slop around in my gardening clothes, but when I need to go to the local shop in the next village I always change my clothes and make sure my (grey) hair is tidy.

If I was all grey/white I would keep it that way with a great cut of course. But, I have dark brown with a substantial grey in the front only. When I did go au naturel I looked worn out. Then I colored and fought the battle of roots and fading. Now I frost my hair here and there and the grey blend in beautifully. No problem with roots.

I'm another redhead and I hope it doesn't sound vain, but I love my hair every day of my life I get complimented on it and I know I'm very lucky. I've got a few whites appearing now, but my hairdresser says I don't need to worry about them yet. Trouble is, because I've always been happy with my hair in its natural state, I'm dreading having to think about colouring. I don't have time to sit for hours in the hairdressers having it dyed, but I don't know if there is anything that I could use as a rinse just to blend in the whites, not to alter my natural colour in any way. I've thought of using cold tea, but haven't tried it yet. I'd be grateful to hear if any of you have found a simple solution.

To me, guys look completely ridiculous if they dye their hair but not also their eyebrows, moustache, and ever-growing beard. (And to do it every day? <LOL>, C'mon guy. Give it up.)

Much like a streaky 12", bald-headed, spiraling comb-over; a tri-color poodle; or a teenie with his trouser-crotch well below his knees - they're fooling (and ever-so attractive) to _no_ one.

The image of me bending over to dip my head in up to my neck and flushing twice "for even color" stopped me from ever considering it.

Even the ladies after a longer while can look really stark and unnatural when the color contrast becomes much too high. Ever see either gender with lifeless, stove black hair? No doubt self-done with a dull Magic Marker.

ugh

Wouldn't cold tea also change the normal colour of your hair? You might end up with dark brown hair and weak tea highlights!

I hope your tooth is able to be remedied soon coffee time & I agree age is just a number that relates little to how one feels about oneself. I actually feel fine about myself but I think my grey hair is going to be a shock for my sons who are used to how I have nearly always looked & perhaps haven't really thought about my getting any older.
Your image of tea coloured hair made me laugh! so I hope Fleur doesn't use it. When much younger I did use malt vinegar or beer as a final hair rinse because it removes any residual shampoo & was a cheap way of making dark hair shine.

Definitely a personal decision. I colour my hair and I have since I was a teenager. I enjoy having it done and doing it myself. It's how I roll.

So the general consensus is tea would be a bad idea?

It takes more than gray hair to look old and insignificant--apologetic shuffle, timid demeanor, not bothering with trying to look one's best, etc. If at all physically possible, try to develop a stride with a spring in your step and good upright posture--exercise at home and in classes help immeasurably in gaining a self-confident air. Look those clerks in the eye--even going so far as to say (calmly, politely with a smile) "I think I was next" Assertive, not aggressive is the byword.

And to think I was such a shy, quiet child

years ag when my kids were little and we lived in the Yemen the men there traditionally dye their hair with henna when they go grey. my children called them Gingerbread Men!

So the general consensus is tea would be a bad idea?

Earl Grey maybe?

ADF, don't you mean Lady Grey?