I have been considering having permanent lense replacements but have decided that being such a big Jessie I may just opt for contact lenses instead, or at least as an interim move. Having spent a whole lifetime, and in my case that is a VERY long time, protesting, vigorously, that I could NEVER, EVER put anything in my eyes this is indeed quite an astonishing turn around. Up until 2 or 3 years ago I only ever wore reading glasses, I was then prescribed fantastic varifocals and that was that, my glasses and myself were like new lovers, could never be more than a few feet from each other and separation anxiety entered my life in a huge way for the first time. We were content in each other's company for the next two years. Like all romances, we jogged along very happily but gradually I got sick of the sight of the object of my desire, it was like having a jealous lover I couldn't escape from. I wanted to be free but my need was such that I became unable to function without this new force in my life. I felt like a drug addict, could not operate efficiently on my own and resented my lack of independence. Like a doomed Mills and Boon novel I soon came to resent my dependence on the now, former love of my life and to hate the sight of what had so recently transformed my existence. I was in danger of making a spectacle of myself so drastic action was required here.
"So" said the lovely optician who was invading my personal space in a way I would only ever have tolerated from my doctor or dentist.
"All you have to do is sit this tiny piece of plastic ( or whatever these things are made from ) on the tip of your finger, hold you eye open wide and pop it on! Simple!"
Mmmmmmm, a good 20 or so attempts later I still had the little bit of whatever it is on the end of my finger and a very red and now aching right eye.
"Shall we give this eye a rest now and try the other one?"
No surprises there then to find that it was even worse trying to get the thing into my left eye, I seemed to be all fingers and thumbs and need at least two pairs of hands just to keep my eye open which left me with no spare hand for the lense, harrumph. All these optical gymnastics were made worse by the fact that, without my glasses on, I was unable to see what I was doing. I did try to do it with my glasses perched on the end of my nose but that didn't help and the lovely young lady kindly told me that my nose wasn't long enough, she looked all bashful when I told her that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about my nose. Back to the original eye which was now feeling the benefit of not been constantly prodded and poked. AT LAST, in it went, don't know how but it was in and comfortable, wow, I can do this, maybe. Try the other eye again, and again, and again, about 40 times but all to no avail. Forget the left eye lets just try and get the one out from my right eye. Removal was always the bit I was most frightened of and with good reason it seemed. It didn't matter how many times I tried, it just sat there, in my eye winking at me and laughing, or so it seemed. In desperation I tried a two fingered approach at dislodging it and amazingly it popped out, phew, what a relief. At that point I decided that 2 hours of non stop eye poking were enough for me and so I arranged to come back another day and do the whole sadistic ritual once again. I now looked as though I was ready, except for the costume, for a night out to celebrate Hallow'een. I take back the remark about the costume!!!!!
I had round 2 at the optical torture chamber yesterday and it was another epic fail, a real déjà vu experience and round 3 will be on Monday. I never imagined it could be this difficult and all my friends who wear these small items of frustration assure me that I will get there, they take all of 2 seconds to put theirs in, don't even have to look in the mirror and life is wonderful. I now look at my former love and wonder where it all went wrong, perhaps the new love in my life is just not for me, a passing infatuation, a momentary fad? Have I been too hasty? Should I try and rebuild the relationship I had or should I plough on, poking my poor and now well battered eye balls at every opportunity? It would be nice to cease being a contact lenses bore at social occasions and revert to more mundane topics of conversation like the Ebola crises, the state of the Nation's financial reserves or other riveting conversation stoppers.
Answers please to............
Actually, good people, I would really appreciate any tips, advice or help here. I would also love to hear others tales of woe, or not, thank you. Looking forward to reading it all, this could be our own little 'Contact lense tent'.
I shall update this post after my next session and the one after that and the one after that.......ad infinitum. Watch this space
Ballerina x
"So" said the lovely optician who was invading my personal space in a way I would only ever have tolerated from my doctor or dentist.
"All you have to do is sit this tiny piece of plastic ( or whatever these things are made from ) on the tip of your finger, hold you eye open wide and pop it on! Simple!"
Mmmmmmm, a good 20 or so attempts later I still had the little bit of whatever it is on the end of my finger and a very red and now aching right eye.
"Shall we give this eye a rest now and try the other one?"
No surprises there then to find that it was even worse trying to get the thing into my left eye, I seemed to be all fingers and thumbs and need at least two pairs of hands just to keep my eye open which left me with no spare hand for the lense, harrumph. All these optical gymnastics were made worse by the fact that, without my glasses on, I was unable to see what I was doing. I did try to do it with my glasses perched on the end of my nose but that didn't help and the lovely young lady kindly told me that my nose wasn't long enough, she looked all bashful when I told her that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about my nose. Back to the original eye which was now feeling the benefit of not been constantly prodded and poked. AT LAST, in it went, don't know how but it was in and comfortable, wow, I can do this, maybe. Try the other eye again, and again, and again, about 40 times but all to no avail. Forget the left eye lets just try and get the one out from my right eye. Removal was always the bit I was most frightened of and with good reason it seemed. It didn't matter how many times I tried, it just sat there, in my eye winking at me and laughing, or so it seemed. In desperation I tried a two fingered approach at dislodging it and amazingly it popped out, phew, what a relief. At that point I decided that 2 hours of non stop eye poking were enough for me and so I arranged to come back another day and do the whole sadistic ritual once again. I now looked as though I was ready, except for the costume, for a night out to celebrate Hallow'een. I take back the remark about the costume!!!!!
I had round 2 at the optical torture chamber yesterday and it was another epic fail, a real déjà vu experience and round 3 will be on Monday. I never imagined it could be this difficult and all my friends who wear these small items of frustration assure me that I will get there, they take all of 2 seconds to put theirs in, don't even have to look in the mirror and life is wonderful. I now look at my former love and wonder where it all went wrong, perhaps the new love in my life is just not for me, a passing infatuation, a momentary fad? Have I been too hasty? Should I try and rebuild the relationship I had or should I plough on, poking my poor and now well battered eye balls at every opportunity? It would be nice to cease being a contact lenses bore at social occasions and revert to more mundane topics of conversation like the Ebola crises, the state of the Nation's financial reserves or other riveting conversation stoppers.
Answers please to............
Actually, good people, I would really appreciate any tips, advice or help here. I would also love to hear others tales of woe, or not, thank you. Looking forward to reading it all, this could be our own little 'Contact lense tent'.
I shall update this post after my next session and the one after that and the one after that.......ad infinitum. Watch this space
Ballerina x
) - they were fine, and easy to get in once you have the knack (look up while you're putting them in 
)
!
)
