The FastDay Forum

I tend to store up hurts and mull them over instead of forgetting about them. So I would like please to put them out there and get rid of them forever. Maybe you would like to do the same? Here's a thread to do it.

Here is my number 1:

From 1970 (Yes really!!) I'm 16, and I think I'm fat (I wasn't, not really). I've devised my own diet = eating 600 calories a day. I'm trying to do all the right things, and advice is to see a doctor if trying to lose weight, so I take my diet sheet to our family GP. He glances at it and says, "That's fine. If you can stick to that you'll live forever, but ..." and he looks me up and down in my school uniform "you have to accept that you will always have big knees."

BIG KNEES?!! Who knew? I knew my tummy was chubby, my thighs were gross, my bum was big, but I'd had no idea that even my knees are ugly! Permanently ugly! I bought some chocolate and cried.

What an awful thing to say to a 16 year old; I like to think doctors are trained to be more sensitive now...

When I was 11 my sister's 14 year old friend told me I had "child bearing hips"!

It's stayed with me but only as an amusing memory. She was one of those old before her time, 14 going on 60 girls you come across every now and then. And frankly wasn't exactly a skelf herself

Well going by the weight you've lost and your current BMI I bet you have gorgeous slim knees now!
Just goes to show though that a seemingly throwaway remark like the put down from your GP over 30 years ago can stay in the mind and reinforce our unfounded failings and gnaw away at our self esteem.
Well done for dealing with the hurt that must have caused

I used to brood over hurtful or thoughtless comments but as I've got older I've found the best way to deal with them is to tell myself I can always change whatever has been criticized in myself but the person who made the remark will always be ignorant/ugly/stupid whatever!

I have got the 'you'd be really pretty if you weren't so fat/big/chubby' a few times over the years. It doesn't really bother me, I just think 'and you'd be really nice if you weren't so rude/ignorant/horrid.' haha some people.
Dee

Lard arse
Thunder thighs
Nice face, shame about the arse
Two fried eggs.......

Brothers and their mates can be cruel.....

Ooh yes I'd love to get things off my "large" chest? I have 3 things that I have never forgotten

When I was young and fit (yes I was young once...and fit, although didn't appreciate it at the time ). Anyway, I used to do aerobics nearly every day and my instructor one day said "oh no wonder you struggle with push-ups"...referring to my ample breast.

One day whilst working on an orthopaedic ward one of my patients was trying to describe another staff member to me. He said "she's stocky...like you!" Erggh I hate that word and I just can't forget it...makes me feel not only big but manly too

Lastly, I was in a pub once and a young chap knocked into my boobs and shouted that he thought he'd broken his arm!

How do you forget comments like that?

When I worked as a midwife for part of that time I was at my heaviest (nearly 16st). I used to (and still do) avoid the camera like the plague but someone had taken a pic of me in uniform and the Labour ward Sister saw it and said to me
"well if that (photo) doesn't make you do something about yourself then nothing will." I think she thought she was doing it 'for my own good'. I thought then (and think now) that I don't ever want to be a person who makes comments like that to another because it's NEVER acceptable. And coming from a woman with THE worst teeth I've ever seen. Hey ho. I was hurt and outraged all at the same time. And her husband was a vicar too.

And someone (re nursebean's comment) once called me 'stout'!! I think I'd rather just be plain old fat

When I went to the local girls high school aged 11 years, we used to wear socks that came to just below our knees and the skirt hem just above our knees. The Deputy Head Mistress used to check once a week at assembly to make sure we weren't turning our skirts over at the waistband and making them shorter. when she came to me she would point at my knees and laugh. Just as well she never saw my feet because even my Dad used to say it would be easier to buy the shoe boxes than actual shoes because my feet were smaller versions than his!

when I was in my 20's I lost two stone I mentioned this to a skinny friend as she had not mentioned it, her reply was small fat people always look small and fat no matter what they weigh. Needless to say I didnt seek her company from then on.

Even though the scales have said for a few months that I weigh 112 lbs, no one actually believes me, even though a Pharmacist weighs me each month after she has taken my blood pressure! I am 5'2" but will never look like a stick insect!!

When I worked as a midwife for part of that time I was at my heaviest (nearly 16st). I used to (and still do) avoid the camera like the plague but someone had taken a pic of me in uniform and the Labour ward Sister saw it and said to me
"well if that (photo) doesn't make you do something about yourself then nothing will." I think she thought she was doing it 'for my own good'. I thought then (and think now) that I don't ever want to be a person who makes comments like that to another because it's NEVER acceptable. And coming from a woman with THE worst teeth I've ever seen. Hey ho. I was hurt and outraged all at the same time. And her husband was a vicar too.

Why do people think they have carte blanche to comment on someones size..They wouldnt dream of saying " you've got a big nose" but think its ok to pass remarks about somebodys big hips/ knees/ etc etc ..i have never understood that!

Woman at work beamed brightly at me and said, So! When's your baby due?!

However, this story gives me some satisfaction because I had the presence of mind (very rare!) to smile sweetly and say, Oh, I'm not pregnant, I'm just very fat. To be fair, she was mortified. Did I feel guilty? Did I heck!

Shachat...thats why I could NEVER say that to a woman unless she was absolutely on the brink of giving birth...even then I'd be a bit wary!!