The FastDay Forum

I got told a wee few hours ago, I'm going to be a gran and my husband a pa.

My son and his girlfriend, he 22 last week and his girlfriend is 19, wow.

It will take more than a week for this to seem real.They have left and I need to decompress. I am very happy for them and of course worried, as mums do this.

My need to decompress comes from having my own family of origin all messed up and family is scattered and blown to pieces. (was dysfunctional)

So it is very important for me to be a good gran, family is important. But I need my own time to let this soak in.

How do you be good gran?
Here I am thinking 49 is too young to be a gran, it is not, really.

My own mother was a shocking grandma and mother as well. I dont want to be anything like her. I love my mother, but she is toxic. Please dont judge this, it was with a very heavy heart, I have no contact with her, She was eating my soul.

I would like any grans out there with positive vibes, info, tips. Thanks

Hope you guys feel special, this forum and you guys are the first, I've told, not allowed to tell for another 6 weeks.

Congratulations. How exciting for you.

Sorry, not a gran so can't help. BUT I'm sure you will be a fantastic Gran.

Best wishes to all.

Lesley

Oh congratulations zamale, that's wonderful news! You are young enough to do all sorts of things with your future grandchild and watch him/her grow up. I have two grandsons aged 4 and 1 and believe me, the love I feel for them is completely overwhelming. It's a whole new ball game from being a mum but so rewarding so just let the news sink in and enjoy the process. I'm sure you'll be an excellent grandma and a great support to your son and partner. x

Congratulations Zamale, my Mother wasn't a good Mother and in fact was enough to put me and my brother off having any children, so I can sympathise with you. You have a lot of love and I'm sure you'll make a good Grandma!

[Moogie]

Just wanted to wish you congratulations! I'm not even a mum, let alone a gran so I have no tips for you, but if I've learned anything from 5:2 it's that mindfulness is half the battle, so as long as you bear in mind all those things which made your mum a bad gran then I'm sure you'll be far better

Congratulations on the fantastic news! I was made a granny at 45 - I was by my single-parent daughter's side as she pushed little Olivia into the world - and I cut the cord which was such a special thing to be asked to do!

Although they live 150 miles away from me, I speak to them on the phone regularly.... Livvy is 5 now and adorable... it is sooo true what they say about how you love your children but what you feel for your grandchildren takes it to another level!!

I don't have much of a relationship with my mother either - I vowed to bring my kids up the complete opposite of her and seem to have done an OK job. Not judging you at all for your comments there - we can choose our friends but we sure as heck can't choose our relatives!!!!!

I think the very fact you are thinking about how to be a good gran shows that you will be one! How exciting for you!

[carieoates]

Smashing news. I can and and can't wait to be a gran seeing as my eldest is (a boy ) 17 yrs and my youngest (girl) 12 yrs. I hope it will be a wee while yet.

Congratulations and the fact that you already want to be a great grandma, no, not a great grandma, I mean a GREAT grandma, shows that you are bound to succeed, enjoy the little one when it arrives, they soon grow up,

Ballerina x

At the age of 21 (honest!!!) I became a gran and now have 2 grandchildren (and I'm still only 22!). I try to 'be there' for them, as they are both still under two and a half, but have said we'll be fair and strict with them. They live 5 miles from us so we see them once a week. My daughter in law is very close to her own family, so we don't muscle in. I love them to bits.
You will too and I hope you find your own balance. Congratulations.

Biggest congratulations on the best thing in the world!
We have 10 grandchildren, including step which makes no difference, and love them to bits.
That's the key, unconditional love all round; let them know the boundaries for safety and good manners but I find a piercing look more effective than any shouting.
You will be a fab gran, no doubt :0)

I agree the fact you are thinking about being involved and being as best a grandma as you can be and having the experience of what didn't work for you will stand you in good stead. Oh congratulations how lovely for you. Kids grow up in a flash so enjoy

Congratulations! My son is 22 as well and if he makes me a gran any time soon I will kill him

My mum became a gran at 44, and she was wonderful. The fact that you want to be a good grandmother is the best starting point there is - I hope you enjoy every part of it, including the dirty nappies

Like others have said, i think its apparent from how youve written here that you will be a very diligent and loving Nan
I think as the idea sinks in,you will start to get excited!
But its a lot to take in isnt it and the prospective parents are very young
Soooo much to look forward to tho!