The FastDay Forum

Hi, I am thinking of moving out of the marital bed!

I suspect evil menopause messing with my sleep. I can sleep heavy during my husbands snoring, but lately its a vicious cycle, menopause keeping me awake, just can't fall asleep and there I lie fully awake with ears jammed packed with ear putty and still I can hear hubbys awful gaggling, spluttering snoring. If I am sleeping well, I usually fall asleep before hubby comes to bed and its all good.

I nuzzle up close to his back to prevent him from going on his back, all hell breaks loose in snoring hell then . I nudge his calf with my foot and he claims I am kicking him It is causing a strain. I am thinking of comfying up my sons single bed with an egg crate foam and flanellete sheets and getting better sleep. Son does not use the bed.

Am sure my hubby is not the only one snoring here. How do you all cope? We are quarrelling about this, not happy.

Any gimmicky pillows, potions and what nots that actually work?

Hubby was using a c pap machine for mild apnea, but won't use it anymore because the silicone mask was giving him skin problems and the flimsy thin mask cost a mountain of money.

Appreciate anything right now

I really feel for you. My husband used to snore incredibly loudly. However a year or so ago he had his tonils removed and now he no longer snores. This was an added bonus that we weren't expecting. I'm afraid I don't have any suggestions for you; but I know that once or twice I had to move to another room to sleep.

I used to suffer from hubby's snoring - then I realised he was stopping breathing while snoring so got him diagnosed with sleep apnoea so he now wears a mask at night which stops the snoring - result! Might be worth getting your OH checked. Know how you feel though - sometimes the spare room seems the only option!

We've slept in separate rooms for almost 20 years now--it works very well. We both get a good night's sleep and greet each other with smiles in the morning. Having a romantic encounter is now like having a date.

I struggle with insomnia (use a sleep mask and ear plugs)and am crabby the next day if I don't get enough sleep. He usually doesn't need as much sleep as I do and now can stay up late or get up early without disturbing me. He is a very restless sleeper--his sheets and blankets often ending up on the floor--the tumult wakes me up even in a king-size bed and makes me quite grouchy. We always get a room with separate beds when we travel.

Separate rooms doesn't mean that we don't like each other; it means that we can sleep and not be crabby during the day.

But maybe someone knows of some really, really powerful ear plugs that would solve your problem.

oops sorry - just saw that you have already been the CPAP route - really feel for you

I forgot to mention that I snore a lot and disturb him, so with separate rooms we're both better off.

Being divorced I have slept alone for quite awhile and its great. It has entered my mind now and again as I have been going thru menopause for about 7/8 years now how disrupting it would be to a partner. Up and down, hot and sweaty then freezing cold la la la la. I mean I can't even get along with myself at night. If you can't sleep because of snoring plus the lady things then you are going to turn into maxa-grouch and that won't be good for the marriage either.

Respond later, had to go out. Thanks guys.

We too had to start sleeping in separate rooms. I'm a very light sleeper and my husbands snoring was unbearable. I'm hopeful if he loses some weight the snoring will ease up and we can sleep together again. Bottom line, you really do need good rest to function properly during the day.

Funny side note, we have two large dogs and one sleeps with each of us:)

I had dreadful problems with insomnia during menopause. I could blame my OH but in the end I blamed menopause and went on HRT for a few years. I did sleep better.

Seems like necessity has to be the mother of invention and sleeping is vital to life. I agree with the separate rooms too as our bedroom gets very cold through winter and the spare room on the floor below houses the airing cupboard and is cosy warm. I drop south for the winter to the cosy room but OH feels too hot in there so stays north. Come warmer weather I'll be back upstairs where a fan is fitted to the light!
Stay friends and sleep well :0)

Could hubby investigate whther surgery to his palette, adenoids or tonsils will cure the problem. Is he overweight?
I am the snorer in the family, but mild enough that a nudge will roll me over. I can even wake myself up with it. Hubby says its better now I've lost a bit of weight, I'm hoping it will be cured when I have lost a lot of weight.

Snoring from OHs is bad enough,but how about when you can hear the man next door snoring?? AND yawning loudly!
Even worse,poor DD shouts in her sleep - awful nightmares are a symptom of CFS - sometimes she screams. Her poor hub.
She woke me one night shouting in her sleep "Bad Vibes! Bad Vibes!"
We cdnt help but laugh about that one..she fell back into a peaceful sleep,while i cdnt get back to sleep

My OH used to snore every night but only very occasionally now since he lost weight 5:2ing If I am still awake I find myself peering at him because he is so silent now just to check he is breathing! It seems that MM was correct in men having a neck size below 17 inches not snoring!
I also persuaded my GP to prescribe me some sleeping pills because of his snoring & when I was desperate to sleep & I will take one if I can't get to sleep now, but they can be addictive & should only be used occasionally. I need to take one now only when I cannot sleep & that usually is when away & sleeping in another bed without my own pillows.

I spent a night in Melbourne and went to see 'Mrs Brown And Boys' I was so dog tired and didn't sleep until very late because we sat at the window looking out at the city lights from our hotel room. I plugged my ears with putty and had a better sleep, heard hubby snoring so gently nudged him. When I have a few nights of bad sleep, I sleep harder and heavier the next night.
I make sure I go to bed earlier than he, but when the toilet is whispering my name at 3 a.m and then hear the snoring it is harder to go back.

Matcatlady, I did find the c pap machine actually soothing after some time, took an adjustment period, but it was like white noise, soothing. I am also concerned for hubby not having clear airways for breathing, he won't use it anymore, he broke out it pimples from the silicone. I will research and keep talking to him about it.

I will measure my husbands neck width, that was interesting i have to say. I swear when hubby was 7 kilos lighter he snored so much less.

Isis, good to hear you are getting better sleeps, what ever you need to do. Great that weight reduction helps with lesser snoring.


CandiceMarie, I do think your walls are a tad thin, if you can hear the neighbour snoring.
Sorry about your sleeping woes.

Julieathome, do you know if surgery for snoring is the reason people have tonsils, adenoids out or is no snoring just a secondary bonus to the primary reason for having those removed? It is great that you have less snoring too:) Sure it will be even lesser, when you are lighter:)

Great advice Azureblue, sounds like you have it worked out. You can still be married mates, does not mean you have to share the bed every night.

Sallyo- Great that you are having a good sleep, hope that menopause meany is over.

GoLinda, I am sure when weight is lost there is less snoring, it was with my husband. I do think good sleep is primary to good health. Positive vibes for sleeping together again
soon.

ClaireMarie, I know exactly what you are saying, up down out in hot sweaty, doona off doona on. I got to do what I got to do.

Izzy, Glad you have your sleep snoring issues sorted and hope your husband is sleeping soundly and you are feeling better from your illness.

Marybeth, I am still on the hunt for these amazing ear plugs.
I liked the way sleeping arrangements have worked for you and you make it sound enticing, date night is just what some marriages need, mine included. We may just appreciate each other more.

Thanks everyone.