The FastDay Forum

My son is 22 and his girlfriend is 20 and 6 months pregnant and I dont know how to come out without sounding like a judgmental busy body but I generally do really care about the mother of my grandchild and the baby of course.
In a nutshell the baby will be born demanding sugar.

Mum to be only eats junk food (chips and gravy, burgers, chicken parma, cream desserts. ice cream, chocolate bars etc. pepsi coca cola and cordial.
Her food selection is very narrow, she didn't know what asparagus was.
I did make her eat broccalini with her chicken snitzel I made at home.

I am concerned and hope dearly they won't transfer the eating habits to the child, but I can be concerned, but I am only the grandmother to be and if I interfere too much, well we know how that can turn out.

I am just thinking out loud, be gentle.

Thanks for reading

[Debs]

For what it is worth, at least she doesn't have a crack habit. What are your son's eating habits like, did you instil good habits into him? Or at least try to. It is true that we are partly a product of what our parents ate as far as I understand from the science. My mum ate absolute rubbish when she was pregnant with me, I was pretty healthy. All you can do is try to change habits and introduce new foods subtly. It isn't her fault that she wasn't brought up with a healthy diet, and it may be that she just doesn't know whether she likes some foods as she has never tried them. Keep enouraging her to try them herself and maybe it will sink in.

Good luck!

One of my dil started the same and now eats the same as me, no hints, just found her own way to goodness through feeding her children :0)

Not a Mum so my response is observations only! But most women change dramatically once they've given birth ... She will be looking for lots of help, and that will be your chance to step in! Twenty is very young anyway - she's almost still a baby herself, so I bet she will need loads of help! Still I can appreciate how infuriating it must be for you to stand and watch ... Remember that you will be learning how to be a grandmother, while she is learning to be a mother ... I am sure that things will be ok, you sound a very thoughtful and considerate person to me, and I am sure she will come to value and appreciate that, even if she doesn't now

Thank you Debs, that was quick. My son is making her eat some greens for the baby, she thinks its funny. On Facebook she posts her craving tonight is big M and a crunchie, the mini mart just love her. I'm thinking of the baby's lifelong health. My son loves basil pesto, say no more and what guy loves salad, not many, he does.

I rest in the thought of a doco I saw long time ago now, that the body as a last resort will extract every bit of possible goodness even in junk.

She did like the brocolini, but hates broccoli, she said it was because it was over cooked, when she had it in the past.

She thinks I am a great cook so that is a start. It took my strength not to mention some berries and greek yogurt for the baby when she was asking on Facebook, all her comments replies were for junk and this is where the crunchy and big m came in and this was when she said she was sick of getting fat from eating cream desserts????

I am very fond of her and not being bitchy, just thinking out loud and concerned.

[janeg]

You sound a lovely gran to be zamale!
I have been reading a thread on another forum (which I cal the bicker board) where someone was asking how to set boundaries when baby no 1 comes along and parents decent. One of the interesting things was what 'help' was and how holding a wee tiny babbie wasn't much help to the new mum but doing practical things was. Maybe you could prepare some healthier meals for the freezer, or offer to shop and get stuff that's a bit better to eat. Chances are she might crave better food when the babs appears especially if she's breast feeding. You sound as though you are so diplomatic- I'm sure you can gently influence and if it's not taken well, read the signs and retreat with grace.
Exciting times

[carorees]

I agree with the above, but have one thought...could you ask her if she's heard of diabetes in pregnancy and tell her that high sugar foods make it more likely, plus high sugar makes the baby grow too big and leads to problems in childbirth. Mothers with diabetes have bigger babies due to the high blood sugar in mum.

Maybe telling her this and leaving her to mull it over might produce a change. You'd have to find a way of dropping it into the conversation, but I'm sure you can find a way of doing that.

Good luck...

[wildmissus]

Zamale, do they live with you or close to you? When the baby is born will you be involved? I agree with janeg. when I had my two girls it was a struggle to do the practical things and would have loved it if someone had made me healthy meals. Also my 13 year old daughter would eat like your sons girlfriend all the time given a chance and will often cry when she sees something she has never tried before. I am winning her round by getting her involved in cooking dinner. I use the Hairy Dieters cookbooks a lot. She will now chop up all the ingredients for dinner ready for me coming home for work. What about doing something like that with your son's girlfriend now. If you buy a 'simple' cookbook you could leave it with her (rather than buying it for her) and any time you have making dinner together would help you bond better with her as well.

For what it is worth, at least she doesn't have a crack habit. What are your son's eating habits like, did you instil good habits into him? Or at least try to. It is true that we are partly a product of what our parents ate as far as I understand from the science. My mum ate absolute rubbish when she was pregnant with me, I was pretty healthy. All you can do is try to change habits and introduce new foods subtly. It isn't her fault that she wasn't brought up with a healthy diet, and it may be that she just doesn't know whether she likes some foods as she has never tried them. Keep enouraging her to try them herself and maybe it will sink in.

Good luck!

well said Debs

Teach her to cook some tasty healthy recipes? Maybe a kind approach might steer her in the right direction? After you prepare some tasty meal, comment that she will be able to blend it for the baby etc.

Sounds like she doesn't really know what goodness is.

When I was expecting no 3 son the only thing I could eat and keep down were salads. That boy now 38years old has never eaten a green thing in his life, I used to try and force him as a child and he was sick on the plate. I do worry about him but now he is beyond my help. I have managed to get him to make a large pot of vegetable soup and whiz it to a liquid he can then keep it down. I guess what I am trying to say is that what you eat in pregnancy does not seem to affect the future tastes of the child. I do hope all turns out well, I'm sure it will.

When I was pregnant with my first child I craved greasy take aways like Kentucky Chicken. Not sure why, maybe something to do with the so called morning sickness that lasted all day. Any way my now 24 year old eats a reasonable diet and is healthy.
I'm sure baby will be fit and healthy.

Hi Z ..A grandchild to look forward to..! An exciting but worrying time...
Its good youre holding back on your doubts and thinking things thru,coz the temptation to jump in and say something must be immense!
Lots of good advice here, so i have nothing new to add..
I know you will make a wonderful caring Gran! X