The FastDay Forum

Some of you know my mother's story. On my 40th birthday she fell down, broke 2 vertebrae and is in bed since. It was 3 months ago.

Last Monday night I received a phone call urging me to come to help my dad as she fell again. Fortunately, she didn't hurt herself but it was hell to help her get up, even with the 2 of us, because she is 90 kgs and doesn't know how to help herself. Plus, she's in bed for 3 months now and has lost a lot of muscles and strength in her legs, which doesn't help.

I was quite blunt and told her that she NEEDED to lose weight as it will make things easier on her legs and she would feel better as well. She suggested that she would do the same as I am, except that I don't feel it's the right way for her to go as I fear it will make lose her more strength and make her recovery take even longer.

What do you think ? Is it a good idea to fast when you stay in bed or is it better to go on a more "traditional" diet (I must say that a "traditional" diet doesn't work for her, plus she has no will power whatsoever, even can't drink water without adding something sweet, like cordial, in it)

We know diets don't work. I don't see why she should go on the 5:2 diet. It won't make her weaker. It's lack of exercise that is doing that. Is she seeing a doctor? What does the doctor say about her staying in bed for 3 months. It doesn't sound very good to me. Sorry you are having such a difficult time Manderley. How is the rest of your life?

She sees doctors and a physiotherapist and they all say it's going slowly but well. She has a severe case of osteoporosis, which is one explanation of why it's going so slowly, the other one is purely in her head as she's terrified to feel pain and it makes things worse.

Right now she HAS to take her meals in a chair, has to do twice her exercises given by the physiotherapist a day and, when she has the motivation, she does really well, the problem is she's too heavy, too lazy and she has negative thoughts, excuse my rudeness, but it's true.

My life is still pretty full of stress (no job, OH who has big health problems and some other things too long to explain), but I am pretty good at dealing with everything.

[Debs]

Hi Manderley, I'm afraid I can't add anything to help other than to send you love and hugs. X

Thanks, don't worry, it was just a question I had anyway, I really don't think she could fast or even do 16;8 as like I said, she has no will power and want to lose weight for the wrong reasons, because I told her it was the best for her. You can't help somebody until they are ready to help themselves; I guess

Yes, that's absolutely true. She has her life and makes her choices and you have yours. Loving detachment from those close to us is hard. But we can't live other people's lives and we have to give them the respect to make their own decisions. Hard stuff. Hugs too.