The FastDay Forum

Morning all,
Just want to run this past you. OH recently lost a lot of weight, combo of joining me on 5:2 dieting meals, plus had a bit of illness. Anywa, here I am, back on it again (underactive thryoid but on tablets) 6lb less than last January but still with I reckon 5 stone to lose. Anyway, have done 4 x 500 days in the last 2 weeks and was standing on the scales this morning (they add weight if you lean too far forward so I have to squint to read the numbers) and I say as he walks past the (open) bathroom door - 'hmm, not sure if I have lost 1 or 2 lbs but haven't been (to the loo) yet'
His reply 'I'll still love you, I know how hard it is for YOU'...there was a hint of smugness in his voice. Am I being over sensitive?'
Thanks
Struggling!

oooh my other half always says "I still love you" and I HATE it.

Took me a while to realise he genuinely thought it was a nice thing to say. DUH - any woman knows "I STILL love you" will NEVER be a nice thing.

Feeling your pain, do you think he was attempting to be supportive but missed the mark?

Just for the record he is now making Jamie Oliver chocolate brownies - because he says he has lost sooo much weight he can eat them! Oh my life!

No !!! He should be showing you the support needed as you're struggling next time you could turn around and bring your knee up into his "delicate" bits that would take the smugness out of his voice

best of luck this time and well done


Edit::: just seen your 2nd post knee deffo

Just for the record he is now making Jamie Oliver chocolate brownies - because he says he has lost sooo much weight he can eat them! Oh my life!

Speaking from the "other side" I guees us guys just cant win

Having said that, this one was walking on thin ice

It is hard to say whether it was a patronising comment or not as tone of voice, body language speak volumes.

Maybe have a quiet chat with him and let him know that his support is really important to you but his comment came across as being patronising. This way you can clarify for him how it made you feel while it may be possible that he thought what he was saying was being supportive (some men are clueless when it comes to things like that).

This way you are giving him a chance to 1) clarify or 2) realise what he said was hurtful.

I am lucky I don't have a very sweet tooth. The house is full of chocolate and stuff from Christmas which I have threatened tongive away but HE wants to eat. I really struggle, not so much with what I buy/eat but with all the biscuits and empty calorie foods that he surrounds himself with eg pasta and cheese! I can cope normally but when I'm doing 500 it's a chore, especially as I'm not the fastest loser due to my thyroidnand age I think!

Just for the record he is now making Jamie Oliver chocolate brownies - because he says he has lost sooo much weight he can eat them! Oh my life!

True he can have the occasional treat now that he has lost weight. It is just mean to rub it in. Time for a serious talk.

I can relate to that one as my hubby insists on surrounding himself with chocks, biscuits, crisps and cheeses its a nightmare right now especially with xmas chocolates still lingering around,
and I could just eat one of his brownies right now

I agree with The Frog in that a lot depends on tone of voice,face expression etc when he made the comment
However his behaviour ..making brownies etc..seems insensitive right now,which could be a temporary thing..maybe he's just a bit wrapped up in his delight with his weight loss,but in a while that will pass and he will be more thoughtful.
Only you know if he is normally more supportive and if this recent behaviour is out of character. You might need to sit down and try to discuss it with him if he generally isn't overly thoughtful and explain that you need encouragement.

Each man lives in his own head. Everything outside of it is something else.
Each woman lives in her own head. Everything outside of it is to be evaluated, compared, worried over, discussed, hugged with compassion.
Spot any difference?
:0)

After 41 years living with a man I still don't understand what goes on in his head....! It's a bit like living with 'Spock'.

:heart: No !!! He should be showing you the support needed as you're struggling next time you could turn around and bring your knee up into his "delicate" bits that would take the smugness out of his voice

Try and make a rule, on your fast days no chocolates, no baking. That way you are supported but he still has 5 days a week to enjoy his stuff.

I luckily do have support, but my hubby sometimes forgets and offers me a sweet/candy and when I say I'm fasting he is truely contrite and apologetic.

Don't know about patronising...how irritating! Why do men tend to lose weight so much more easily, eh?!

Bean