The FastDay Forum

Hope you didn't damage the trailer, I would hate to hear you had been sued. What does the nursery rhyme say ? A yes wrap your head in vinegar and brown paper, that fashion statement will wow the French. Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

wrap your head in vinegar and brown paper, that fashion statement will wow the French. Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Nessie, am I not having enough problems?

Ballerina x

I have just found this thread Ballerina I hope your head & eye are feeling better now but wait with baited breath for your next happenings

Well, the swelling on my head has almost gone so he can no longer call me a big head, but the black eye just keeps on getting blacker. Actually, it looks less like a black eye and more like badly applied eye makeup. At first glance you could be forgiven for thinking that there had been some sort of earthquake or seismic occurence whilst in the middle of my morning ablutions and the resulting tremor caused me to scribble eye liner in a rather haphazard yet oddly flattering manner. It looks as though the earth really did move for me.

Frejus was, as usual, lovely and lunch was spectacular. We saw no sign of the pre-teen policeman and his shotgun riding mother this year so perhaps he has reached adulthood at last .

As we were waiting for our bus we both wondered how the little old lady we tended to last year was getting on. We were waiting at the bus stop to go back to the villa when she came across the road to reach the bus stop. As she was just about to step onto the pavement in front of us she lost her footing and fell over, hitting her shin on the edge of the pavement. We both instantly went into 'Wonder Person' mode ( mustn't be sexist! ) and got her back onto her feet and sat down in the bus shelter. Her and hubs were gabbling away in French and fast becoming bestest friends, her husband had been in the war and stationed in Scotland and he loved it etc, etc. Hubs is really good at this sort of thing, he should have been a doctor, his bedside manner is just wonderful and he doesnt faint at the sight of blood, a few billion in the bank and the man would be perfect. She was dressed in what I think of as geriatric camouflague, beige from head to foot, beige blouse, beige cardigan, beige trousers, beige shoes, got the picture yet? You can understant why older folk think they are invisible, its because they ARE invisible. Anyway, there we were discussing the merits of scotch and shortbread when I noticed some colour creeping into the bland scenario which she presented. 'BLOOD'!! The injury from her shin was now bleeding and her beige trousers were fast becoming rather blood soaked so hubs pulled up her trouser leg to survey the damage, which was quite extensive for such a small bump, but I now know all about this sort of thing. The lady produced a small tissue from her handbag but this was soon redundant and it must be said that she was more upset about her lovely new beige shoes now being totally mismatched as one took on a rather brighter shade of red. As hubs tried to stem the flow with the rather useless tiny tissue he turned to me to ask if I had any plasters in my bag. Knowing how my feet suffer in hot climes this was a very reasonable request but as I pointed out, I'd used them all.
'Do you have any tissues?'.
'Erm no, sorry!'
'Do you have anything in your handbag that can absorb the blood?'
'Erm, well, sort of'
'Sort of? What are you talking about, what have you got?'.
'Erm, a pant liner'
'A PANT LINER?'
'Yes, a pant liner, but its only for emergency use'
'A pant liner, as in Lady Tena?'
Well, not Lady Tena actually as they are rather bulky, this one is a Boots own brand and is very
thin............' At this point I got cut off without a shilling,
'I dont care who made the bloomin' thing just give me it please'
'It doesnt have wings ' I heard myself say, no idea why I said it
'Well that is good, at least we wont have to worry about it flying off'
It was about then that a nice young man who worked in a restaurant across the road turned up. He had seen her fall over and ran into the kitchen to get an ice pack and some plasters and then came to her rescue. His face was a picture as he took in the scene that met him of the little old lady with a female sanitary thing stuck to her leg. We all looked from one to the other and everyone ignored the Lady Tena look alike and the central role it had in this bizarre scenario, a bit like the elephant in the room. Eventually she was well plastered, in good hands and our bus turned up but not before I had to put the now blood soaked 'thing' in the nearby bin, I just prayed to God that no one would see me do it, what would they think?............. 'No wings? What cheapskates these Brits are!' Thats what they would think!

Have a great day, we are off into town later for a few beers,

Ballerina x

[carorees]

ROTFL

You are a magnet for 'events' and channelling Boswell to hubs Samuel Johnson! Brilliant! Take care x

More we must have more!

Terry and June ! Except of course you are more trendy and 'au fait' than June!

:lol:
More we must have more!

I'm afraid you probably will before the holiday is over

ballerina x

@Ballerina I am so laughing at sore arses! This comes on top of seeing Cockatoo Dundee at the pub...or this is what my friend called the bloke with the akubra with white feathers all over it (talking of road kill)

So funny

[carieoates]

Yes indeed ROTFL.

????ROTFL oh just got it rolled on the floor laughing ...can say DITTE did it too till exhausted

Must sqy I do believe you met your match with hubs, he's good too

Hilarious!