The FastDay Forum

Oh you poor love, you must have felt in a really hopeless state to do what you did today and I am so sorry you are suffering. I do hope you didn't just suddenly stop taking any of the medication your GP prescribed for you as you should always gradually reduce the dose to allow your body to adapt so please think about taking them again as your system might be in shock.
Do continue to come on here and tell us how you are doing as we are all rooting for you and wishing you well. xx

You seem to have a lot of insight and you did the right thing by writing about it so it's out in the open. I don't have the experience of eating disorders that others on this forum have but my intuition thinks this could be a one off as you know where you've been and clearly don't want to go back. I would agree with the others that if the 'antidepressants' made you feel good there is no harm sticking with them. I wish you the best of luck in getting over this blip.

Some good advice gym-sparkle. As Tracieknits pointed out you are at a healthy bmi (unless you are a very short person) so your weightloss will be probably be very slow now. As you have changed surgeries I would ask if any of the doctors have a special interest in eating disorders as often when surgeries have different docs there are different specialties and I have found that to be very useful in the past. Very best wishes to you.

Tracieknits thanks so much for sharing your experience. I really appreciate it. The only people I have told about my experience with bulimia are a few close friends and family. I have decided I'm going to arrange to see my new gp. I think I need to get the full story about my medication as well because people have told me how bad it is for me, but it honestly makes me feel like a different person to when I was obsessive and miserable.

I was worried about posting on here because I know that this WOE isn't suitable for people with eating disorders, but I was feeling like I was in good place when I started it, and in a great place up until recently with things that have been going on and foolishly stopping my tablets. I felt much more stable with my eating while on 5:2 and happy in the knowledge that I was losing healthily while also becoming healthier in aspects other than just my weight. I'm hoping this is just a blip, but even so a trip to the GP won't hurt.

thanks to each of you. you've really helped me to think about this in a rational way.

[Tracieknits]

Close friends and family mean well, but they're not always right about things like medication. It's always best to do your own research yourself.

I have been on SSRI's before (commonly called antidepressants, although I mostly took them for anxiety). They're nothing like "mother's little helpers" of the 1960s and 1970s that yes, were very addictive. They're not valium or narcotics. The way they work is by preventing the neurons in your brain from taking excessive amounts of serotonin out of your brain fluid. I sort of liken it to increasing the voltage in your brain. It makes your brain work better, because it needs enough serotonin in the fluid to function properly. As you know from experience, taking them doesn't simply make you "feel good" instantly, like Valium does, or like smoking pot.

Come on here anytime and share what you're going through. Sometimes, in situations like these, strangers can be a huge support!

It's not forbidden for you to do this WOE - if you can handle it, you can handle it. If you are vigilant and know what to watch for, you can do it. Certainly nobody is going to be angry with you for doing this

A close family member became deeply depressed after a bout of the manic side of bi-polar more than 20 years ago when SSRI's were still fairly new. A combination of individual counselling, couples counselling, group therapy and an SSRI got him out of it. He was able to wean himself gradually off Paxil after a couple of years and has been well since. He still attends a support group and has an understanding and helpful family doctor. He still experiences the occasional mild episode of grandiose thinking and speaking, but has loving family to talk him down. The SSRI was definitely his friend when he needed it and was not addictive. I firmly believe that a combination of talk therapy and medication therapy is better than either alone.

So don't let friends and family who don't really know what they're talking about confuse you. Best of luck with your new doctor and don't forget what Tracie said about the SSRI taking a few weeks to take effect.

Come back here for support; we're thinking of you!

[wildmissus]

Gym sparkle, don't be ashamed of yourself. I have no experience of eating disorders but I do have the experience of a short spell depression a number of years ago and want to tell you a few things about that.

1. The road to recovery isn't smooth, there were times that I thought I was going backwards but in the end I got there. A lot of that was my own determination to get better.

2. I took anti depressant because they are there for a reason - they correct the chemical imbalance in the brain.

3. You cannot just stop taking anti depressants. Coming off anti depressants needs to be done in a controlled manner - firstly by reducing dosage, then by taking them every other day etc. You could end up worse than when you started taking them in the first place if you go cold turkey.

4. I had people telling me that I shouldn't take anti depressants and still hear people saying they would never take them but they are people that have never had the occasion or need to take them so don't understand their purpose. There are too many well meaning people out there who think they know better than your doctor!

I wouldn't be surprised if your 'episode' was caused by you suddenly stopping the anti depressants. Have a good think about how you felt when you were taking them. Were you slowly beginning to feel better? From what you say the answer was yes, so if something works then keep doing it. There might come a point when you feel you are ready to come off them but that can be a long time and needs to be done in conjunction with your doctor.

Sorry for the long post but I hope that helps a little and yes go and talk to your new doctor.

Gym-sparkle, you have been incredibly brave sharing your story with us - bravo you!

I agree with Wildmissus - the purging episode could all be connected with your recent bout of going cold turkey on the pills. You have come so very far in the past year, so please look on it as a "blip".

Personally, I am a firm believer in the two-pronged attack, namely SSRI's & talking therapy.....which is where this forum comes in! You honestly have no reason whatsoever to feel ashamed of yourself - please believe that. Something happened that you wish hadn't, but it doesn't undo all of your progress. As people have said, chalk it up to experience, learn a little from it....and most importantly.....keep on moving on! And....keep talking to us.

That's what we are all here for. So the very best of luck to you...& please keep posting...xxx

There is no reason to be ashamed of taking SSRI's. What you have is an imbalance in your body, the SSRI's are taking over a faltering part of your bodily function. No one would bat an eyelid if you told them you were on thyroxine because of a defective thyroid gland, so why should they judge you any different when you have a defective serotonin feedback loop.

Keep taking the tablets, but give it another week or 3 to build up in your bloodstream to the needed level. For now don't worry about your normal days, you are at a healthy BMI so just maintain there for a while, then when you feel you can cope again look at your TDEE and shave a little bit off. Don't forget that stress slows down weight loss and by cutting your SSRI's you increased your stress levels.

Last night I got home from the gym, had my favourite dinner (wholewheat penne, pesto and halloumi – yum) and got an early night to clear my head. Reading all of your replies has helped me to think properly about it all. Also thinking about how I was a year ago really made me realise how far I've come. I used to purge every night if nobody was home, be tired from going to the gym twice a day 5 days a week and be constantly miserable and tearful. Now I only go to the gym 3 times a week, 4 max and I eat a variety of foods instead of having foods off limit. Since starting 5:2 I pretty much eat what I want and always have energy. I'm just all round happier.

I honestly believe yesterday was a blip. I've been on Citalopram for just over a year now and not had one of these episodes pretty much since starting. I think a combination of family saying it’s about time I came off them and myself feeling genuinely good about food and myself was what made me decide maybe I should just quit them - in my mind I was better. Obviously doing it cold turkey at a time when other things were stressing me out was a very silly idea- and yesterday happened. I started taking my tablets again a week ago and will carry on doing so. In the meantime I've booked an appointment this morning to see my new doctor next Tuesday. I've not told my boyfriend about it yet…but I will when I next see him. I think it will be better face to face than to worry him over the phone. He’s been with me through it all so I think I owe him that much.

As for the medication – I never really thought about it just helping a chemical imbalance. I think friends and family (unintentionally) helped me to attach a stigma to them, just because none of us really understood them or had been involved with them before. Thinking about them in the context that a lot of you have described really clears it up for me – and if they help to put me in a better place then why not take them?

[Debs]

I have read all te incredible advice on here and everyone has said exactly the right things. As someone currently on SSRIs I can attest to their effectiveness and need to keep on them while you combine them with other forms of therapy.

If you had epilepsy or diabetes you wouldn't suddenly stop your medication because someone said you had been on them long enough. Just because you can't 'see' an illness doesn't mean to day it isn't real. It is as much a physical illness as any other. There is still so much stigma attached to it that non one knows apart from my hubby that I take them.

To put it in perpsective, I tried to come off them gradually while I was on a long and fabulous holiday last year, no worries, no stress, just a happy time. I quickly recognised the symptoms returning though even though I had no 'reason' to be miserable. It is a chemical imbalance as others have said and you have as much right to be treated for it as if you had cancer.

I combined mine with Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and that has really helped me put a lot of things in perspective.

I urge you to do the same. There are very few places out there where you can get some personal advice as from the lovely people here. Make the most of it, we are all here for you

Just thought I’d give an update after all of the lovely support that you all gave me last week

I saw a female doctor yesterday, and she told me about another doctor that she suggested I see from now on who specialises in eating issues and depression who apparently is lovely and has helped a lot of people with problems like mine. He only works at my surgery two days a week, so in future I’ll ask to see him on one of those days – I next have to see him for my prescription of citalopram as I haven’t had it from that surgery before.

In the meantime the doctor that I spoke to was really helpful. She took my weight and waist measurement, height, blood pressure etc. and assured me that I have a healthy bmi so no need to worry, but that she understands as a woman that we’re never happy with what we’ve got! I explained my episode last week and about being on the 5:2 which she said she’d heard only good things about, but that it can be a trigger for people with a past difficulty with eating. She said that I could stop 5:2 but that isn’t my only option because she did think I seemed to have moved on a lot from her reading my files from a year ago, and that the reason for my doing what I did wasn’t necessarily 5:2 itself, much more likely the sudden coming off my tablets. She gave me a telling off about trying to stop my medication cold turkey, and said that she thinks that I should either stop fasting until it is fully back in my system which can take anywhere between 4-6 weeks, or at the very most ease myself into doing just 1 fast a week and see how I feel about things when I next get my prescription.

So in a nutshell, I’m just going to do one fast a week until I see the doctor that she recommended and keep on with my medication – no point stopping that if it makes me feel better. I’m also a bit more open to the idea of group therapy should the recommended doctor suggest it.

I’m feeling much better and thanks so much to all of you for your advice and personal experiences

Great advice from your doctor Gym sparkle and so pleased that you are staying on your medication and trying just one fast a week. I'm sure you will soon start to feel much better once the medication kicks in and you'll be back into a better routine. Best of luck! x

So glad to read your positive update GS90!

You have sorted out a really good plan for moving forward & I wish you all the very best. Please keep us posted on your progress....

Big hugs xx

It really looks like you are turning things around again - well done, keep up with the positve attitude