The FastDay Forum

With the lastest gain in weight, my weight loss now averages out as under half a pound a week on my tracker but if my tracker stretched back a few more months, then my weight loss would average out as non-existent. I had a target to reach, which I didn't think was that unrealistic. I just wanted a normal BMI before I went on my first holiday abroad for 20 years. I just wanted to feel good about myself. I'm the same weight now that I was a year ago - overweight. I could put up with it if it didn't show on my face so much. All photos taken of me at this weight give me numerous chins and piggy eyes so on this holiday of a lifetime, I'll be avoiding the camera at all costs and so won't be in the photos with my family, which just makes me feel so sad. It may sound stupid, but I know that when I see really bad photos of me, my mood just plummets and I'm not nice to be around Sometimes I convince myself that I look alright or even nice - but it's usually photographs or an unexpected mirror in a public place that brings me down to earth with a bump. I haven't been perfect in my habits but I should have lost weight. I know that 5:2 doesn't work for me any more and that I need to do at least 4:3. Unfortunately stress makes this really difficult and my life is stressful to say the least. Anyway I know all the facts - water intake, TDEE's and all of that, so its not lack of knowledge. Its a combination of reduced metabolism, ibs, stress, and my own weak will. Don't expect anyone to solve my problem but just needed to let this out. Just feel so disappointed and down with myself.

First off hugs {{{+}}}
Let it out, have a good look in the mirror and point a finger at your reflection, waggle it a bit meaningfully, and say

"You can do this. I give you permission to eat real food only, not too much, mostly plants."

Now go to your kitchen and mindfully remove all the processed 'food', manufactured to keep you addicted to sugar and handing your money to companies who really don't care about you.
Fasting for a length of time removes carbohydrates from going into your body, how much more effective if you continue this good work when eating by not having flours and sugars in any form for a while.
It will make the difference. Honestly.
{{{+}}}

What you say makes absolute logical sense but putting it into practice is another matter. I have 2 kids with special needs and I can't make drastic changes to their diet - so removing all processed food from the house wouldn't be realistic. As it is because of their issues, they can be hard to feed and I often end up cooking three different meals. But without going into detail, I need something to get me through some days and it tends to be food. That doesn't mean its always unhealthy stuff but it has to be quick and not involve extra shopping or organisation time. For now anyway. Getting ready (with my particular situation) for a holiday is stressful in itself (as will the holiday be, regardless of its nature) and making drastic changes just is beyond me. Its too late to look decent for this holiday - and there won't be any more like this for a long time. Ive been thinking of doing jason Vales 5 day juicing from tomorrow because of the limited time left and because I've found juicing has helped in the past but I don't rate my chances of seeing it through. Too much pressure at the moment. I don't mean to sound defeatist - but it really is a tall order just now. Will try to muster up the willpower......in this moment, feel bleak though

I just want to send you hugs too, and say something about the photo problem on holiday.
As I see it you have three options:
1. Ban photos altogether.
2. Grit your teeth for a few, hating it.
3. Go with the flow and smile.
If you go for 1. and ban them altogether, you might find people try to sneak one when you are unawares, call you name and then click when you turn. Well you can bet any photo taken in that situation is going to look less than best!
Out of options 2. and 3., you'll get nicer photos from 3!
The other thing to remember is that the more photos that are taken, the more choice there is to find the good one. You know we all delete loads of awful ones don't you! I have one photo of me that I really like because a puff of wind blew my hair. Two seconds before the camera captured a more piggy look...
There was a thread about how to look good in a photo?
But please, please, do have the photos taken, I think you'd be sad in the future if you don't.
The other thing I would suggest is to accept you won't be losing weight before holiday, but to eat to mindfully so you don't put any on berfore you go. It sounds like there is enough extra stress involved in just going on holiday, without trying to lose weight.
I understand that it's a change rather than a rest sort of holiday, but hope you have a wonderful time.

Oh my dear you have challenges that must feel like mountains some days. I wrap my cyber arms around you in gentle sympathy.
Do what you can when you can and I hope your holiday is lovely. {{{+}}}

I think you need to be a bit kinder to yourself. You're not weak willed, you're human and finding it hard to resist temptation, or failing to resist temptation is normal. Remind yourself of what a fantastic mother and person you are, of how hard you work to look after your kids, who must present you with constant challenges, challenges which you rise to and meet everyday.

No one else thinks you look as bad as you do on photos, they're too busy worrying what they look like. You need to try and let go of the feelings of failure and make the most of this holiday with your loved ones. Tell yourself you're earned it, you deserve it and you're entitled to enjoy it and have a fantastic time, regardless of how many extra pounds you may be carrying. I really hope you find a way to enjoy yourself and let go of the negativity. You need and deserve it

Hiya x relate to what you say and send hugs xx also relate to responses given here.
I Feel v like you at the moment..am staying at nieces and there are lots of mirrors! At home i have one full length one which i avoid looking in..
not happy with what my reflection is telling me in all these unflattering mirrors grrr!
not doing very well weightwise and all in all am feeling very cheesed off with self and with my life probs,v different ones to yr own.
Trouble is,stress and feeling unhappy with ourselves can mean we turn to food,which exacerbates the problem doesnt it!.
My take on yr situation is,do the JV juicer thing if you feel you can..it will make you feel better and coz its short term wont harm..but dont beat yrself up if you cant do it..it IS extreme.
If not JV,make sure this week you eat carefully which may lead you to feel just that bit trimmer as you set off..
have hol treats.. But don't go crazy!
Don't angst over the photos,go along with having a few taken..I hate my photos,but i bear in mind other peep never think theyre too bad..most peep dont like seeing selves in pics..

On yr return think New Start! i suggest you try doing what @AzureBlue suggests, i am gonna do that myself..(thanks AB..i feel this may be quite an effective aid..)
Keep calling in,lots support here.
I get very down and bleak but this helps me,maybe help you too..
each morning i say this ( its from a thing called A Course in Miracles)..
"What would You have me do?
Where would You have me go?
What would You have me say, and to whom?"
You're asking the wisest deepest part of yourself for guidance x x

Thank you all for your kind posts and understanding I think it's good advice to forget about actually losing weight before my holiday and perhaps just be as mindful as possible while eating. Think I'll give the juicing a try and if it gets too much...... just mindful eating. Then get back on board after the holiday. Yes maybe I should do that. Thanks again for listening and understanding

I like the spiritual idea too CandiceMarie x

Yes, good plan. Sounds like your life is really stressful and you might be being a little hard on yourself. Just a little, possibly. Good Lord, girl! Give yourself a Break!

I agree with all posted on here - I too HATE photos taken and avoid them like the plague - I don't think it's uncommon at all. It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life and people are right - you need to be kind to yourself - beating yourself up because you feel like you're not achieving what you want to will just make you feel worse. I think the 'mindful eating' idea is a great one but please do enjoy your holiday - that's what they're for! x

Enjoy your holiday and don't worry about the photos as long as you look happy in them it will be fine and provide happy memories of mum enjoying herself for everyone else.

Hi there the shrinking woman.

You do the best job in the whole world! I too have a son with special needs. Please relax about your diet for your holiday, you will not get that time back and if you are enjoying yourself and ignore the camera, you will look happy, relaxed and beautiful. Then when you get home you can knuckle down to it again.

Maybe Carorees will advise but maybe a good quality magnesium supplement??? Supposed to be good for many functions and good for stress, anxiety etc.

Have a great time, thinking of you.

Alex x x

My heart goes out to you. I'm sorry you are feeling sad and frustrated with yourself. I have spent more holidays behind a camera rather than infront of it for precisely the reasons you say.

I'm going to disagree about the juicing. I'm a juicing veteran, and unless you are prepared for tummy rumbles - you will have your blood sugar going up and down in spikes, unless you have tons of greens in it and no sweet fruits. You also need a relatively stress free environment to do it in. If you are adamant - blend, don't juice as the fibre will help out balancing the blood sugar providing you have stuff in it like spinach, celery, cukes, kale etc.

To flip this around, the other thing you might like to think about is to reduce your carb intake a little on vacation. Oddly, I tend to lose weight on holiday as I load up on veggies and fish and steer clear of the heavy stuff like bread, cakes etc. This means you will come back rested and feeling in a good frame of mind to start afresh when you get back.

I have been taking supplements for anxiety and low mood. If you want some help, just PM me.

Don't lose heart. Come here for support.

Agree with what people have said. But agree with Karen that the juicing might not be such a good idea, either practically or psychologically at the mo.

I would set out to enjoy your holiday - after all, you haven't had one like it for 20yrs, and deserve it as much as anyone else. It will take you out of the place you are in atm both physically and mentally. And your family will love you just the same, and will enjoy it more if they see you having a great time too.

As for photos ... Well, I would bite the bullet and make sure you have at least one taken. After all, you will need a good 'before' photo ...

Do come back and tell us all about your hol - most people just love hearing about others' hols, especially if abroad. Then get back on the wagon - you know it works, and you are just missing a bit of that 'x factor' that makes us make a go of it. Don't worry about that, as the people on here will supply that - just go away, come back and restart, and the rest will be history. And this time next year, you will be glad of that 'before' photo ...

Hi @theshrinkingwoman, I'm sending you big hugs.
My 12 year old has special needs and I understand how stressful that can be with just the one!
I too have been struggling recently and have opted to go with an eating window rather than 5:2, until things have settled down. Yes, this means I feel I've eaten more, but I am still in control, just! It's also taken the stress of any calorie counting away. All I do is check the time when I first eat and stop eating a few hours later. I'm determined to stop cupboard/fridge raiding when stressed. I need to eat when I'm hungry and take five minutes to myself when stressed (haven't properly sussed this yet, but I am still working on it!)
As for photos.....As an adult I have been up to 17st6lb and down to 9st2lb. I have some absolutely awful photos and a few photos I like. Funnily enough, my favourite photos aren't my skinny photos! My favourite photos are my happy, smiley photos. When we see photos, we are very self critical, but what others see first is our face and whether we look happy! Try to enjoy your hols and then most of the pics will show a happy mom!
Going on holiday with our children is hard work. For many years I refused to go as I was convinced I'd not have fun due to it being the same hard work somewhere else. But sometimes we need to bite the bullet and get on with it.
Make a list of what you need to do, then delegate what you can and then be realistic about what you can get away without doing.
Enjoy your holiday. You deserve it!