The FastDay Forum

Thanks so much @WendyJane I'm calm for now. Busy work week ahead, interviewing our next director so board members arriving from all parts of the world and then a 2 day board meeting. Listening to music and then bed soon. Day by day is good

Our Poppa passed this Saturday at 95 plus three-quarters. So we are very fortunate!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHrtY78dFFs
Love to you Richard! xx

What a beautiful video for us to say goodbye with you, Liz.
Rest in peace, Richard.

@CandiceMarie@WendyJane yeh!
Thx CM, 10 June 1919 - how bizzare it's Dads1st b'day today without him .... 'after you have gone'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kA6ulKFXiTA
Beautiful man.
We had a great day and emotionally beautiful. @Silverdarling with you, heart and love to you and your loved ones.

Aah@lizbean..only just spotted this x
Your Dads first birthday away from home but back Home
Glad was a good day for you all..the firsts are hard..first bday,Christmas,first anniversary ,first Fathers Day etc
Love that video Liz! I had evening job as waitress in Lyceum London Old Tyme Music Hall and learnt all those old songs..many i already knew from my own Dad,who died v similar age to yrs..96
RIP Richard and all good old Dads,thanks for the memories xx

@CandiceMarie x my great uncle Eric sang on the west end stages and opera and a first class pianist in the first films. Have you been back since
https://plus.google.com/u/0/111706384126601210685/about
I miss all the singing and playing. Love to you and your Dad and family moments.
Bediboesx

Oh how fab aboutyour Uncle @lizbean..i wd love to be an artiste/ musician/ artist..if i come back,i am gonna be creative next time
Yes bean along the Strand many a time since,as Dd and SIL lived in London for several years....now theyre back up North,so i dont know when i' ll get down there again. I miss London,i loveit! X

If you come back Candy?! If? Course you will

So sorry for your lost @Lizbean
I am dreading father's day next Sunday and my dad's birthday July 11th which is as well the anniversary of the day I founded Boo as she was 3 weeks old. I guess it will help to focus on life.

My birthday was hard, I went to see my dad and just broke down in tears which I didn't do since his funerals. I couldn't stop crying so I know his birthday will be hard as well. I am not afraid about the first Christmas without him as Christmas is a normal day for me for years.

About my mom now.... She has dementia as you may know and we go to see a judge next monday to forward the protection proceedings. I don't see her very often in her home as it always ends with her insulting me or trying to emotionally blackmail me. It's pretty tough and even if I know that my "real mom" is not here anymore, I don't know how long I will be able to cope with the "new her". I don't know how long she will stay alive, some people say around the life expectency is around 4 to 5 years but I hope our relationship will be more peaceful at one point.

Is it cruel for me to say that I need to build my life and "move on" ?

Thanks @Manderley I was thinking of you this weekend. What a journey it is Manderley How do you think your Dad would like you to spend Father's Day and his birthday? Something special that would make him smile and bring you warm memories of the happy times you spent together? I'm planning to see what is showing in London, an Italian film, exhibition or opera (standing only!) as he was passionate about Italy (amongst other things!). I too have had a few moments of overwhelming grief and wow they took me completely by surprise and I came out the other end ok, it's normal - though until one experiences it we never know how it really feels and what the journey is.
Your Mum and Dad want you to live your life, take it forward and most importantly be happy so my advice is to do just that. It's great to hear you are moving forward in managing your Mum and her affairs, tough as it is to take on the responsibility that hopefully makes life easier for you short term.
We all lose our parents at some point; abandonment, adoption, fostering, accident, war, early unforeseen death..... I am a very fortunate person as is my family to date.
My father had dementia in his later years though we were able to have real conversations, share early memories and loving moments when his life window opened for me. They were very special, priceless moments where I learnt a lot about his childhood I never knew. Dad LOVED the memory book of his life we contributed to, it was his touch stone and helped him have the conversations he wanted to have with the 4 generations of his family and all his friends when they visited.
So while you are struggling with your Mum, a memory book worked for us to keep Dad's closing window OPEN.
Catch you soon.

We all lose our parents one day or another, it's the circle of life but, for my dad, it was so sudden and a cancer is not suppose to be a sudden death. Keep in mind that between the diagnostic and the day he passed away there was only a week to the day. Before that he lived a normal life, had projects, even bought a new car in the end of January. The fact that it was so quick was and still is a blessing and a curse in the same time. I am a bit paranoid now, I saw my eyes becoming yellow for a while (which they are not, they are just with blood because of stress and too much computer) for example.

About my mom, I really hope we will be able to pass the agressive stage. Which is reassuring, for me, is that she insults the nurses as well so it's not just because it's me, however it's exhausting. I would love to share some memories with her but it's impossible right now. To go and visit her is a chore, let's face it. Even when I go with Happy, (he's allowed in there) it doesn't really helps. I guess we'll see how it goes...

I found some pictures of my dad I never saw before. They were taken during WWII as he was born in 1941 and he's 7 weeks old on one of them. It's a nice founding before father's day.....

Except going to see him, I have no idea what I'll do on father's day yet...

@WendyJane @Manderley @Sallyo @Rawkaren and friends. It is the time of year we remember the wonderful people we have lost, who gifted us. Beautiful they are, they keep our hearts open and loving every day.
Love and hugs to all carers, family and friends, wishing everyone peace this Christmas.
Richard 1919-2015

Do you think it's creepy to prefer being alone at Christmas because you have no idea how you will be able to cope with it and don't want to burden anyone with your emotions in what should be the happiest time of the year ? Or the fact I planned to go to the cimetary on Christmas day to see my dad and my best friend ? I suspect it will be easier than to go visit my mother, which is ironic when you think of it.....

I wish my dad could know how much I miss him and how much it's still easy to deal with the fact he's not here any more. Not to make him feel guilty, just for him to know he really mattered for, at least, one.

Big big hug for all the carers and family and for those of us who have lost someone this year

@Manderley what you say and feel is very real and absolutely ok to want to be with your Dad, he knows
I changed the arrangements this year, just as you say. Christmas Eve I'm hosting my DD and friends and Christmas Day I'm looking forward to just being me and that's cool, it's been a mega year.
I'll pop by to spend time with my elderly neighbour who is on her own. x