The FastDay Forum

nikki & marlathome, thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot to me as I am feeling like a big failure at the moment! I do need to learn to be kinder to myself, it's a lovely thought and something I aspire to but I find it hard to do so, sometimes it seems easier to hate myself than love myself. The feelings I have been having over the past few days have given me a lot to tell my therapist - I have not felt so down in a very long time, I just can't find a smile in anything. All I see when I look at myself is a weak woman full of excuses and woe - I don't want to feel that way, I want to nurture and encourage myself as I would a friend. I hope I will get there soon.

I would dearly love to learn meditation, any attempts I have made previously have not worked - I simply can't clear my mind! I don't suppose you know if guided meditation cds are any help?

Thanks again, so much. xx

nikki & marlathome, thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot to me as I am feeling like a big failure at the moment! I do need to learn to be kinder to myself, it's a lovely thought and something I aspire to but I find it hard to do so, sometimes it seems easier to hate myself than love myself. The feelings I have been having over the past few days have given me a lot to tell my therapist - I have not felt so down in a very long time, I just can't find a smile in anything. All I see when I look at myself is a weak woman full of excuses and woe - I don't want to feel that way, I want to nurture and encourage myself as I would a friend. I hope I will get there soon.

I would dearly love to learn meditation, any attempts I have made previously have not worked - I simply can't clear my mind! I don't suppose you know if guided meditation cds are any help?

Thanks again, so much. xx

Meditation isn't easy and it takes time but it is so worthwhile. It's not simply a case of 'clearing the mind' - if only it were! The mind doesn't want to be still and it will fight all attempts to reign it in but perseverance pays off. I can recommend anything by Job Kabat-Zinn who teaches MBSR (mindfulness-based stress reduction) - look on Amazon for instance for his 'Mindfulness for Beginners' audiobook or something similar. Regular practice is essential.

Best wishes.

I'm bipolar and have stopped beating myself up if I get to a fast day eve and cave in... most of the time I manage and thats good enough. Excessive stress raises cortisol and that does stop weight loss. Often I have a crash day in bed after a manic busy few days and will often fast on that day. Be kind to yourself. It really does help.

Meditation is not "just clearing the mind" - my mind is almost never quiet as in "shutting up" for more than seconds. I would describe it more as a state where you observe all the thoughts coming and going without engaging with them too much. You do not have to believe what your mind throws at you. And if you do engage and get distracted (which happens regularly), you just observe that in a non-judgmental way (not chiding yourself) and return to the observing state. I find that counting breaths (1-20, then begin again)is very helpful when my mind is chattering away (it's not called the "Monkey Mind" for nothing).
Learning meditation takes regular practice, but actually not that much time. Has been very helpful in my life.

Feeling anxious can only be attributed to a future event where the unconscious plays out a mismatch between the resources required to deal with that event and the perception of the resources available.
The solution, helpfully, is generally not to tackle this at the cognitive/conscious end of the situation but at the unconscious - this is why CBT can sometimes take far too long to get any kind of meaningful result.
It is the unconscious that is making these resource based comparisons and if re-educated it can deal with them better - either by re-appraising the resources needed for the event or re-appraising the resources available.
My suggestion would be to find a local NLP practitioner/therapist - I have personally helped people with anxiety based issues in 3-4 sessions. Yes it's a tough journey but the rewards are well worth it. Good luck Sophie

Apart from the excellent advice by marlathome, you could also considering downloading some free simple meditation podcasts and breathing exercises. I use the ones by Diana Winston from the UCLA - they have different lengths, the shortest is 3 minutes. There is also one called "working with difficulties" which helps me be compassionate towards myself, which I find difficult at times (but much less often than before I started meditation/yoga).

Feeling anxious can only be attributed to a future event where the unconscious plays out a mismatch between the resources required to deal with that event and the perception of the resources available.
The solution, helpfully, is generally not to tackle this at the cognitive/conscious end of the situation but at the unconscious - this is why CBT can sometimes take far too long to get any kind of meaningful result.
It is the unconscious that is making these resource based comparisons and if re-educated it can deal with them better - either by re-appraising the resources needed for the event or re-appraising the resources available.
My suggestion would be to find a local NLP practitioner/therapist - I have personally helped people with anxiety based issues in 3-4 sessions. Yes it's a tough journey but the rewards are well worth it. Good luck Sophie

Oh dear, don't take this the wrong way but I kind of hope you are wrong! I was/am really hoping that the CBT will help me. I have been waiting for it for a long time & have only had two sessions so far, I am pinning a lot on it!

I suffer from anxiety disorder and depression. Medication didn't help and I then went into treatment which has given me some useful tools but didn't "fix" me as I had hoped.

What stood out to me in your post was when you said "I want my anxiety under control". I so often feel the same, yet I have started to realise that it was this need to control my feelings that was actually feeding the disorder. On the rare days that I accept my anxiety and try to let go of it rather than control it, the anxiety reduces.

It's very slow progress for me, but the more I detach from my thoughts and observe them rather than try and change them, the more accepting I am of myself and in turn the anxiety reduces.

Meditation really helps me and complements any therapy you are undertaking. For me the fast diet feels like the right fit, because in fact it takes a lot less planning than most of the other eating plans I have followed. Two days a week I plan one meal, and on the other days I don't plan at all... a welcome relief from the daily obsession I needed for previous diets and the constant disappointment of "falling off the wagon". I am only on week one, and my need to control (the cause of my anxiety) means that I feel fearful on feed days because it feels so unfamiliar to eat what I want. But I believe that if I trust the programme, and continue to let go of my negative thinking, the anxiety will reduce.

Wishing you peace and serenity,
Gxx

Oh dear, don't take this the wrong way but I kind of hope you are wrong! I was/am really hoping that the CBT will help me. I have been waiting for it for a long time & have only had two sessions so far, I am pinning a lot on it!

Hi Sophie - I am sure it will help as you put the practice in with your 'thoughts' so no need for concern at all and in order to help you manage your own expectations I wouldn't expect this to be a quick fix for you so buckle up for the long journey.