The FastDay Forum

PennyForthem yes some people fear saying something in case they offend. Also some people really just don't notice as they are so absorbed in themselves.
SueQ you are doing amazingly and that's what really matters.

Yeah. I've lost about 60lbs and 4 dress sizes with nary a word from my outlaws. It's just as well because if they had said anything, it would be one of those backhanded compliments others have mentioned. MIL and SIL would sooner sprout into the Jolly Green Giant than compliment my loss. Oh well. Saw this on facebook a while back and it summed it up for me...

Just keep talking about me behind my back and keep watching God bless me in front of your face!

I guess I've just gotten used to it after 20 some years.

And we're not doing this to get anyone's approval. We're doing it for ourselves and it's pleasing ourselves that matters. Compliments are nice, and all that, but I don't need them to celebrate my weight loss.

I had the same kind of thing with my own family, I was transparent, at best. You know there were times when they were taling about me like I was not there even if I was in the same room. So, one day, I cut all relationship with everybody except my parents. (not a sad thing, a relief, in fact)

A few weeks ago, I dreamt I had big dinner wher all the "family members" I cut out of my life years ago were invited and I arrived fashionably late with the most sexy outfit I could find, you know the kind of glamourous clothes, the dress was the spitting image of the one Rita Hayworth wore in Gilda (I am a red head with long hair so I guess it came from that). I was gracious and smiled to everybody as they were stunned. When they said something about my weight loss I didn't answer, just smiled. That's what I want to do when I'll reach my goal, just to see their stunned faces...

Well done Sue. Hold your head high. My mother is the worst for this. She gossips endlessly about other people's weight, yet she is very generously proportioned herself, and always on a diet. She is constantly talking about how terribly skinny my sister is, yet never, ever a word in my direction when I either lose or gain weight. My stepfather always compliments me in front of her and she stays silent. When I see her before Christmas I will probably be about a stone down (which is quite a bit for my size). I know she will not say a peep.

Karen, your stepfather sounds like a good guy!

I have an aunt like that who had the nerve to tell me I should lose weight even if she was bigger than me. It was the straw that broke the camel's back (love that expression) and I told her "Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye." (I love that even more). Here's the wikipedia link for the explanation http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mote_and_the_Beam. It's that day I decided she should go ******** herself (replace the ******* by the word of your choice)

I had the 'you need to lose weight' for years from my mother. All the dieting advice that kept her so slim. What she wasn't telling anyone was that she had an over active thyroid which meant she couldn't put on weight, no matter how much she tried. Till she needed the surgery for her thyroid then became underactive (to about the level I am). Then she started putting on weight, about 2 stone the first year. I haven't seen her now for 3 years so I don't know where shes at weight wise. But hopefully she now realises what a struggle it is for some people to lose weight.