The FastDay Forum

Hi all, I'm into my 2nd week of 5:2 and I'm enjoying it. I have an 11 year old daughter who I've not told about the fasting and just said I'm watching what I eat. She comes home from school for lunch and on fast days I make out I'm just making my breakfast as she leaves and when she asks why I'm not having lunch I say I've just had a sandwich before she got in. I feel like I'm doing something really wrong because I have to lie to her. I'm so afraid of giving her hang ups on food. So many young girls are so worried about their weight, it scares me. They are so aware of how they look. I don't remember being like that at her age. Do you think I should tell her or keep it hidden? and have you told you young ones about your fasting?
Dee

Hi justdee. I just started yesterday, but wanted to jump in to give you some insight. This is what I think. For me, the truth is always, always the best choice. I have two boys who are 11, and 9 yrs. old. I told them what I am doing but explained to them that fasting is not for everyone and should not be done without supervision. I emphasized that fasting is just for adults (Not for all) who have the goal to improve their health, and not for kids. I told them about the wonderful medical research that has been done regarding fasting and the health benefits associated with it. My kids were asking questions and I responded to all the best I could. Kids can understand better than what we think, and they always appreciate the truth. Eating disorders are scary, especially when the teenage years approach, however, I firmly believe, that a close relationship with your kids, good communication patterns, and always saying the truth can help to prevent or to deal with future challenges. I hope this helps!!

My older two girls 22 & 18, have seen me diet most of their lives. They have a fairly healthy attitude to their weight and are lovely and slim. They don't obsess, but if it starts going up, they act quite quickly.
What I'm trying to say is that I've always told them how beautiful they are and my previous dieting hasn't adversely affected them. They've both heard of 5:2 and are fairly supportive x

[janeg]

My two lasses were young and impressionable when I was quite unwell and had a very unhealthy relationship with food. I worried that they would follow in my footsteps. Happily, both are very comfortable with themselves and although a wee bit chubby, are healthy and eat well.
They are now adults and know I'm fasting and are very supportive.
I explained to them when they were younger that I was unwell and kept them properly fed etc. They accepted that and are fine

Hi all, I'm into my 2nd week of 5:2 and I'm enjoying it. I have an 11 year old daughter who I've not told about the fasting and just said I'm watching what I eat. She comes home from school for lunch and on fast days I make out I'm just making my breakfast as she leaves and when she asks why I'm not having lunch I say I've just had a sandwich before she got in. I feel like I'm doing something really wrong because I have to lie to her. I'm so afraid of giving her hang ups on food. So many young girls are so worried about their weight, it scares me. They are so aware of how they look. I don't remember being like that at her age. Do you think I should tell her or keep it hidden? and have you told you young ones about your fasting?
Dee

Dee, if you check the principles you wish to adhere to in life I am pretty sure you know the answers to your question. Lying to your child? About lunch? Really? Treat her with the respect she deserves and you will get respect in return.

I have three boys and I am always open with them about things such as my health and weight loss efforts I am undertaking. Fasting is not for growing kids which they understand and are grateful for.

I don't have young children but if I did I wouldn't use the "F" word
I've told only my sister exactly what I'm doing so my answer is we're all different and therefore act differently.
Not mentioned the ''F'' word to my hubby at all I told him I was eating healthier which I am and cutting down which I am he knows I skip breakfast occasionally which I said was a way to cut calories all very true
Not lying to anyone just avoiding the 'F'' word
Yesterday my hairdresser asked me how I'd lost my weight and I told her the truth my first confession well my friends are pleased for me as I've struggled most of my adult life BUT non of them have actually asked how I've lost my weight. ( weird ). Sue.

Thanks everyone for your input, I will take it on board. Thanks solangel, you are a newbie like me but I do appreciate your advice. I will explain about the research and how others are finding this WOL.
DomDom, I have to say I didn't like being told off I am very open with my daughter normally but you hear all these stories about young girls (and boys) with eating disorders, I just worry. My daughter is at the age were she is changing fast and she thinks she's putting on weight. I've told her it's just because her body is changing and not to worry, she knows she's no stick insect (like some of her friends) but she is gorgeous and not over weight. And sue, you may not have children but you always give good advice . I don't mind using the F word, I think calling it a 'fast' is much better than calling it 'skipping meals'. It's the other F word I don't use (not the F*** one,haha although I don't say that very often) feast, I never called my non-fast days a feast day as I think it's giving yourself the wrong message.
Thanks again for your advice I think I will tell her. I've just got to explain it right.

Hi there, my daughter will be 11 next week, she is, like me of healthy stock, but then she swim trains 3 times a week, is a black belt at ju Jitsu, does cross country etc etc very very sporty child, and is very aware of her athletic frame compared to her stick thin friends. She has had worries about her body already, this breaks my heart, but knows everyone is different, grows at different rates and she says she is leading the way in growing compared to her friends. I have always told her I fast. The reasons why and that it is not for kids. She accepts this and believes that healthy eating is the way forward. She helps to prepare food and is learning to cook. I believe an understanding of food and how to cook from scratch gives a child a healthy attitude to food and what and why they put in their mouths. She knows that after training she needs to refuel, junk doesn't cut it. A cry of I'm hungry mummy and she's shown the fruit bowl.
It is hard with girls because of the pressure they are put under by media and this get famous quick because of your looks society we live in. Peer pressure, even at such a young age can be a pain in the a&&e!
My advice, tell her, explain why, teach her about food, why and when we need it. Understanding is a great gift to give a child. Be truthful about what you do and why you do it. We all make mistakes, mine I ate too much!! That's why I'm on this forum

I have a teenage son and he is well aware that I am overweight and that I go on diets from time to time. I would never hide anything like that from my child. I think it would give him the impression I was doing something wrong or taboo that could not be talked about.

Fortunately despite all the statistics regarding children of fat parent(s) being more likely to be obese he has never been overweight and doesn't overeat. He stops when he feels full.

I have three older kids--9, 16 and almost 18-- and I have been at this a long while. They definitely know and they aren't always happy about fast days. They call them low days and high days like I did when I first started ADF years ago. I have a menu planner and they will come in from school, look at it and then sometimes express their displeasure about it. There are some fast day meals that they like; omelettes, roasted chicken or meatza-a crustless pizza/meatloaf dish that they eat in tacos or wraps. They hate my favorite, Taco Soup; so I make something different for them.

My hubby and youngest son (age 16) know about the fasting, to the extent that the first thing they ask every morning when making me a cuppa is 'fast day or normal' so they can adjust to the days eating plan. The only difference that happens is that hubby and son have lunch when we (older son and myself) don't, plus I will normally add some form of carbohydrates to their dinner.
The whole family already does 16:8 as none of us like eating when we wake up.

No I haven't (my daughter is also 11). I watched my mother fail every diet under the sun growing up and my 3 sisters and I have all struggled in our relationship with food since our teen years. I munch on vege during the day if the children are around on a fasting day & eat a healthy dinner so they are none the wiser.

I do think youre doing the right thing with yr eleven yr old
When my daughter was about eight, i existed for three months on just diet shake drinks..stupid i know...
Now an adult,my daughter told me recently how worried she had been that i might die because i wasnt eating..she didnt share that with me at the time, so was fretting all on her own about it,at such a tender age.

Its great that you have an insight i obviously was lacking at the time!
Why worry her unnecessarily ...at eleven she doesnt need to be told ..
If she is eating healthily and the correct weight for her age and build, its best not to make an issue out of food/ eating/ not eating/ fasting etc, IMHO.

Interesting to read people's advice here, I have a 5 year old and so far have avoided mentioning fasting and tell her I'm eating later/have already eaten, but she doesn't like it when I don't eat with her. I don't think I want to be honest at this point as I think it would negatively influence her although I don't feel entirely comfortable when I lie. I'm not sure when/if I would feel comfortable discussing with her as I'd hate to influence her negatively. I have no idea what the right thing to do is, so not sure I'm much use, but I empathise with you!

Well, what can I say?? Thanks for all your replies.
Waratah and candiceMarie, Thanks but I wish you'd have posted earlier. I told my daughter this morning and really wished I hadn't. I come from a WW background and have always told her about good nutrition. We don't eat processed foods, drink fizzy poison (as we call it) or go to Mc d's, she's quite happy with that as she understands the reason.
[I must add, I'm not fat because I eat too much processed food. I'm fat because I eat too much good home cooking and don't do much exercise]
So I told her and the first thing she said is 'That's a stupid thing to do'. Oh dear, she then went on to give me a lecture on how breakfast is the most important meal of the day, how I should have a healthy balanced diet and I need my meals to give me energy through out the day. I tried to reassure her the best that I could and explained that it's not to be done until adulthood when the body has stopped growing, as children do need to eat breakfast and a balanced diet for growth. I told her I have too much stored energy and it's there to be use when the body needs it. After all that's how our bodies are designed to work. I told her I would eat fruit and veg for breakfast and lunch and have an evening meal, so it sort of like cutting down on 2 days a week. I think she understands but I do wish I'd have kept it to myself. I said I would give it a few months and see how it is and in the meantime if I don't think it's benefiting me I will stop.
Now I have to make sure I can stick to this and it works for me. I'd hate to fail and make it look like just another fad. That could do more damage than telling her in the first place. Maybe there is a silver lining, telling my daughter has made me even more determined to get healthy. With a healthy diet, lots more exercise and cutting back my food intake. I just hope she doesn't worry about me.
Dee