The FastDay Forum

Hi justdee- sounds you like have taught your little girl very well! Good for you. She has a good grasp on healthy eating which is the main thing at her age. Perhaps another way to think about telling our children is to not emphasize the weight loss end of things but talk more about the bigger health benefits. Giving our bodies time to heal and rebuild. About how our ancestors didn't eat all the time etc etc. My 14yo son has been in from the ground floor and when my husband and I talk about it we stay away from weight loss per se and refer more to the greater health benefits. I think (like many things) this is all in the presentation. Our kids trust us and what probably upsets them more is to see us acting erratically. Focusing on the weight loss, I agree would not be ideal with many children. Focusing on balancing out our bodies and giving our systems a rest should be a positive message. Smart girl you have there justdee!

Thanks toad, She is very smart and has always taken on board what I've told her. but with this one I fear she lost a little bit of respect for me. She'll be fine when she see's me getting healthier. I think you're right about the weight thing. I will avoid speaking about weight loss in front of her and just let her see how my health is improving. Thanks for your advice.
Dee

Hi Dee Sorry it didn't go to plan
I didn't mean to say that I lie to anyone coz I don't but life has taught me
to give a very little to certain people so I just gve the short easy version and say to anyone who asks (not many up to date)
Well I say calorie counting, and healthier eating no lies all the truth coz I'm doing both. As for your daughter well she believes like we all Did that the most important meal of the day is breakfast, as a teenager I never ate breakfast in my 30's I joined some diet club who convinced me to eat breakfast and so I did and never stopped until April this year
I now eat breakfast a couple of times a week and as I've always stated I then start to fell hungry later in the day like yesterday when I nibbled for England !! Today I'm repairing that damage with my usual fast.
Just let her know you're eating a healthy diet and on your fastday meals let her see that's exactly what you're doing, I find when people see me eating a massive plate of salad or veg with a portion of meat they relax and know I'm doing ok and now can see that whatever I'm doing its working and I'm happier + healthier than I've been in many years.
Hope she doesn't coss + curse you to much Lol Sue

Hi Justdee!
I have a six-year old and 19 month-old so haven't told them anything, though only just started. I have been having something midday as my little one would be eating on his own, and older one is at school anyway.
My parents started this WOE about 6 months ago and I too was sceptical! I don't live with them obviously but I thought they would never be able to do it - been on diets on and off as long as I remember. When they lost 20 lb each in the first three - four months I was amazed! What I'm trying to say is that I'm sure when your daughter sees that you are fine and that you are losing weight and feeling healthier, she will become more supportive.
Good luck! Don't feel guilty for wanting to be healthy!

Oh I'm sorry to hear that I haven't told my kids (age 6 and 9, both boys) because the older one is quite obsessed about healthy eating and the younger one is a real picky eater and it's hard enough to get him to eat anything at all - the last thing I want to do with either of them is to set an example of skipping meals.

I guess with an older child you can explain things, and show the evidence and explain about healthy BMI and all of it, but not when they are younger and learning about healthy eating at school and things like that, it's just too conflicting for them. Children are often very black and white about such things. I can't imagine either of my kids understanding that I can do it and they can't for example. I'm pretty sure the older one, if I explained about all the benefits of fasting would then want to try it out for himself.

I haven't told my boys, they are 12 and 15, they have seen me not having breakfast and eating a smaller dinner to them but haven't commented.

My younger son is overweight but obviously fasting is not advised for children. I am trying to steer him towards healthier choices but he is quite stubborn! I guess the best thing to do would be to stop buying the junk, then none of us can eat it!!! Thing is my older son is quite skinny so I feel he needs snacks, but he will eat healthy options if that is what is available.

Of course I told my kids since I'm the one providing the food around here. I almost always cook from scratch, so at least my 14yr old (who still lives at home) had to understand why I eat the way I eat (and not drink any wine ) on fast days. He's quite funny, cause when he ask me if I want a coke or some of his sweets and I say no thanks, he looks at me and say "so it's your starving day then".

Today was the first fastday that my DD has known about and she's been ok. I had chicken and lots of veg for dinner and she seemed quite happy about that. We've also been playing on wii fitplus this afternoon and that's good for both of us.
SecondAlto It's tricky with the kids, isn't it? I would just stop buying the junk and have lots of different healthy snacks in the house. They will hate it at first but it is because you love them and want them to be healthy. We try to avoid processed foods and trans fats but it's almost impossible in this world we live in. So I just choose not to buy them. The kids still eat some junk, but it is limited.
Thanks for all your comments, I appreciate them.
To anyone who may come across this problem in the future, I would say don't tell the kids. If you can keep it to yourself, why worry them. If they need 5:2 when they are adults, you can tell them about it then. And then you'll know how it works in the long term too. I wish I could have come to this conclusion before I told mine.
Dee

I don't think there is a one fit solution for telling kids. I disagree with your conclusion and advice.

My child would be horrified to have things kept from him. In the same way you feel for you and your child it would have worked better if you hadn't told her.

So my advice to people in similar situations would be to read all of the thread and make up their own mind as to how they feel it's best to approach it.

There is no right or wrong way.

I don't have the problem as all the "children" around us are adults but if I had, I would explain to them why there are times I don't eat. I would prefer them to know the real reasons instead of them noticing that I don't eat (and damn they notice everything, especially what you don't want them to notice) and make their own mind (she is sick or whatever) which is usually way worse than the truth.

It's just my 2 cents, of course

[Betsysgr8]

When I was a kid, I rarely observed my (very slim) Mom eating breakfast or even lunch. I just figured she ate after she had fed the rest of us (8 children + Dad), though looking back, I think she usually skipped breakfast. I never thought too much of it or even paid it any special attention. My body image was shaped more by my 2 older sisters (12 and 8 years older) constantly 'dieting' and telling me that I should watch my weight 'now', I wasn't fat but didn't know that until I looked at my childhood pictures when I was older. My weight gain really started after I left highschool and got a car. My point to this story is don't make it into a big deal.

Today was the first fastday that my DD has known about and she's been ok. I had chicken and lots of veg for dinner and she seemed quite happy about that. We've also been playing on wii fitplus this afternoon and that's good for both of us.
SecondAlto It's tricky with the kids, isn't it? I would just stop buying the junk and have lots of different healthy snacks in the house. They will hate it at first but it is because you love them and want them to be healthy. We try to avoid processed foods and trans fats but it's almost impossible in this world we live in. So I just choose not to buy them. The kids still eat some junk, but it is limited.
Thanks for all your comments, I appreciate them.
To anyone who may come across this problem in the future, I would say don't tell the kids. If you can keep it to yourself, why worry them. If they need 5:2 when they are adults, you can tell them about it then. And then you'll know how it works in the long term too. I wish I could have come to this conclusion before I told mine.
Dee

@justdee, I missed this thread from way back. How have things gone now with your daughter.. now that 2 months have passed.
Daughter knows but wont let me discuss it with her friends. grrrr teenagers

Forget the kids, I haven't told my MUM lol. I avoid telling people about it in general. My 2 closest friends know as do my husband and my girls, 22 and 19. Son at 14 knows I am unhappy with my weight says he loves me as I am and that's it lol.
My girls are very supportive and as both eat very clean they are into creating new recipes and raw treats and always ask if it is a fast day before getting me to taste anything. (nutella, popped quinoa and oat balls are amazing btw lol)
Husband and son are fine with getting something non fussy on my fast days

After having lost nearly 10kg All of them have noticed and are proud. Even my mum with her lovingly critical eye has noticed! hahaha.
I am also getting comments from friends I see down the street.If asked how i did it I just say I'm eating well and taking care of myself and say thanks for the compliment, then move on to another subject. Only told my hairdresser who also has been struggling with her weight for years.

Thanks for asking [tag]Juliana.Rivers[tag] My dd seems fine with it. I have told her that it's only for adults and that she needs to eat regular meals for healthy growth. She doesn't really notice when I am fasting because I only fast on school days and although I skip breakfast and lunch she sees me eat a healthy evening meal. If I refuse something she offers me, she'll say 'oh sorry mum, is it a fastday?' I explain that she doesn't need to say sorry because I choose not to have it for 2 days a week. And if I want it I can choose to have it.
I am doing 4:3 at the moment but she doesn't need to know that. I still wish I hadn't told her but what's done is done. I just have to show her this is not a fad and that it's the WOL that's making her mum healthy.
Dee

Thanks for asking [tag]Juliana.Rivers[tag] My dd seems fine with it. I have told her that it's only for adults and that she needs to eat regular meals for healthy growth. She doesn't really notice when I am fasting because I only fast on school days and although I skip breakfast and lunch she sees me eat a healthy evening meal. If I refuse something she offers me, she'll say 'oh sorry mum, is it a fastday?' I explain that she doesn't need to say sorry because I choose not to have it for 2 days a week. And if I want it I can choose to have it.
I am doing 4:3 at the moment but she doesn't need to know that. I still wish I hadn't told her but what's done is done. I just have to show her this is not a fad and that it's the WOL that's making her mum healthy.
Dee

My daughter initially seemed to just dismiss my fasting as just craziness, another one of "mum's phases" anyway now she kind of works around my fasts and acknowledges my Sundays, Tuesdays and Friday fasting as just what it is and "normal" for the adults in the household, no derogatory remarks.

Only thing she keeps saying is you have to exercise more thats the way to lose weight. I didnt bother replying that it doesnt actually make you lose weight. as the inches shred with no change in my activity levels, ill prove her wrong