The FastDay Forum

[wildmissus]

This is something I have been contemplating recently. I haven't lost any weight since August last year and I just can't get the last 7 - 10lbs off. I know this is mainly psychological - self sabotage, 'I don't deserve this' but I don't know why that is the case.

I have no problems with fast days but I am over eating on non fast days. My saviour has been the forum as I know if I didn't have that I would have put weight on - thank goodness I am a moderator as it means I can't just disappear! I am happy knowing that I have maintained by weight loss for 9 months.

I don't have the answers and I've tried to find them but whatever happens stick with the forum.

I think you have to come to terms with the fact you cannot eat and live how you have done in the past if you want to keep the weight off. .

Couldn't agree with you more Brand-ie! It has taken me YEARS to work this out (which probably seems a bit dim) but that really is it - and why 'diets' don't work - because the minute you stop the 'diet' and go back to eating as before then the weight will pile on again. And I am always surprised when people say (as they did to me yesterday at work) "but you can't fast all your life can you?". But I CAN and that's why I think that finally I have got it - I realised that to lose weight and keep it off I had to change how and what I ate; and 5 2 has helped me to do it. Wahey! I have no clue why this works for me where all other things have failed, but it does. The other thing I think is is that you have to stick with it - if you have a bad day then get up the next and get back into it (not just think "I've blown it" now and eat everything in sight - as I used to). I know I'm rambling but I love how feeling better about myself has improved how happy I am - it's not a vanity thing; I just feel more comfortable in my own skin.

Brilliant question and i don't know the answer i'm afraid
As for myself i usually diet and when iv'e reached my goal i start eating as before thus putting all the weight back on again although i'm not talking a massive amount of weight roughly a couple of stone it's been a lifelong thing for me.
Never done 5.2 before, i usually do ww so i'm hoping this is the key.
I am really hoping to maintain this time when i reach goal but the proof is in the pudding if you'll pardon the pun

Fellow Fasters, I don't know if this is relevant but I offer it to help.
I fell off the wagon when a course of chemo in 2010 made me crave food and I slowly regained the 20 pounds I'd worked so hard to lose. Since then I have consistently sabotaged my weight loss efforts losing a few pounds and putting it all back on. I just couldn't stay motivated.
I came to the conclusion it was all in my head, it was my subconscious mind giving me constant unhelpful messages "dieting is so stressful and you're stressed enough as it is" etc. So I started listening to Paul McKenna every night for a week and suddenly those messages changed. I fancied a glass of wine as a reward, but instead of the usual " that's right you deserve it" message, a new one popped up that totally surprised me it said "let a pound of weight off be your reward". I didn't have that glass of wine! I will keep listening to continue reprogramming my subconscious mind.
I feel totally motivated to stick with it.

My lovely husband did point out though that being able to put on weight was a good survival skill if there ever was going to be a famine and that people who couldn't would be the ones who would lose out. So there's a positive.
My Nan the other day told me she was very proud of what I have achieved so far which if you knew her was a massive thing for her as she rarely shows that amount of emotion ( she is wonderful though) so that agian will help keep me honest.

Interesting topic and really very important. I can only speak for myself and why I fell off the fasting wagon. Firstly I like achieving a goal, but once it's been achieved I felt I was floundering around. 6:1 wasn't going to keep me at maintenance, so it would have to be 5:2. This feels like dieting to me, not even being able to have a cappuccino! Plus people telling me I was sooo skinny (I suspect with envy so gradually fasts became fails. I am now sure of 2 things, I will continue 4:3 until I am back at goal, but once there I will be trying Krista Varady's maintenance of 3x1000 cals. I won't last doing 500 cals a day, it feels like dieting. Time woll tell what gecomes of my weight. However I have a cut off point that is not so far from goal, I CAN'T get fat, I know how to lose now without a 7 day diet, just takes a bit longer

Thanks for bringing up this pivotal point, Hazelnut20; as you can see, it resonates with many of us. I don't want this to be another diet, here today and gone tomorrow (or gone today and back tomorrow)
I like how I feel and look too much to give it up. Of course, I've had little twinges of the "Oh, I don't really want to go back to a fast yet" feeling, but I give it a day and then go back to a fast even if it's a half-assed fast. Then I keep on my schedule, and the next one is easier.

I think Carorees' advice to be flexible is excellent. Also, be kind to yourself in your self-talk. Just say, "Well, that didn't go too well, but tomorrow (or next Thursday) is another day and a new chance. On non-minimalist (non-fast) days, I think that sticking to meals and not grazing is key for me. It is too easy to go haywire when grazing, and it isn't satisfying. Also, I think that going crazy on carbs doesn't work for me. If I want to have a carb-heavy meal, I do it, but I don't have another carb-heavy meal in the same day. If I blow-up on one day, I don't carry the blame or guilt with me; each day is fresh and new.

But, most of all, I trust this WOE/WOL. If I work it, even imperfectly, it will continue to work for me.

GMH ,I think I am like you ,I subconsciously like the challenge of losing weight.so I work at losing a few kilos and then without even realising it start re gaining slowly.then the challenge begins again
Also, I think my problem is grazing.i am a small eater but I can graze a lot through the day

Some fascinating observations from everyone - thank you so much.

Re: being kind to yourself....I feel this is something many people need to learn how to do. I am a classic "pleaser" who puts everyone before herself. The only way I have ever known how to be "kind" to myself.....is through food.....lots of it. That said, if I really spent time analysing such behaviour, I would see how very destructive and unhelpful it was.

Unfortunately, I am not in the habit of introspection...but maybe I should start trying to understand what makes me tick......at 51 years old, it's probably high time!

I like my food but my goodness I also like being slimmer better. The scales keep me honest and the fasts randomly done now are keeping me within a couple of kgs of my lowest achieved weight. So I don't stray too far away every few days I fast. My new wardrobe of smaller sized clothes also keep me honest. As does striving to eat healthily and any splurges such as carbs are treats more rarely had. Exercise and movement is a non negotiable so has to happen every other day at best

After a year being mindful of my food intake but being also able to eat guilt free is a way of life now. I do so hope I can keep it up. The forum is a fantastic help as are the fasting day threads. Love fasting as well, think that helps greatly.

All the best to us all we can help each other stay on the wagon

I followed ww for far too long! Always giving up and gaining some of the weight back. I started the fasting last year but allowed life to get in the way. I am back with renewed zeal and determined to make this my way of life. Once I get to goal I will continue to fast to stay there. I feel sure this will work unlike ww.

I think you've given incredible insight with the following reflection:

"The gist of what I wanted to say was: it seems to me the crux of the matter is mindful as opposed to mindless eating."@Hazelnut20

There is so much wonderful advice on this thread, thanks for beginning it. You and I are about four days apart with our "fastiversary". I just hit 6 mos. last week too. I have lost about 1/2 of what you have and completely understand your frustration. For me, this is the ONLY thing that has worked for me in the last 20 years. I am not willing to go on a 1200 calorie a day/ 1 hour exercise/day regimen - I just won't do it, but 5:2 has given me a freedom I've never had before, so I committed to myself after the first 10 pounds that this is my way of life and I will always either fast 2 days or 16:8 no matter what until the day I die (when I'm 87 ). I am lucky to have seen tangible results with medical bloodwork, etc in addition to finally not being tired all the time, guilty and shame ridden over food choices and best of all, others not knowing what I'm doing and giving helpful "advice" all the time.

So, thanks for your insights, reflection and for beginning a great dialogue, in the end, it is a day-by-day, moment-by-moment mindfulness exercise as I quoted you in the beginning. This forum is my lifeline and I know that if (when) I get to the point I'm ready to chuck it all, I can look at the progress tracker, blogs, forums and success/inspirational stories, take a deep breath and a step back and get myself back in balance.

P.S. after reading someone mentioning Paul McKenna, I wanted to share I have several apps by a UK hypnotherapist named Darren Marks. I listen to the Easy Weight Loss every night and am starting to change my thoughts and behavior - it really is amazing to hear myself think "eat slowly, put the fork down" because in the past, I just ate in a mindless frenzy - usually when I wasn't even hungry. 5:2 has put me back in touch with hunger, savoring my food and slowing down. I credit Darren Marks & also a You Tube weight loss hypnosis by Kim Carmen-Walsh from "mindfully be".

I so relate to what you say Mary Lynn - we really seem to have a lot in common!

When I think back to last autumn, I was eating so much bread during the day - fat slabs of toast in the morning, warm rolls with marmalade for lunch, then a huge dinner. After dinner, I would be full to bursting, but I would then scoff a pudding with cream...and a little while later, I'd be heading to the goody cupboard to pull out a family-sized bar of chocolate. This chocolate would taste quite nice at first, but once I was a third through it, it would stop tasting so good. I was so mindless back then, it was like I was on auto pilot....I wouldn't rest until it was all gone....even though I wasn't enjoying it. In short, I was overriding my "full" switch at every turn, due to my emotions.

I suppose I reached a point when enough was enough. My knees were suffering from carrying me around and being that large had no positive sides to it....only extreme negatives. I had never been as big as I was when I started on Nov 25th.

I hardly recognise myself now! Not physically, because I still have quite a way to go, but mentally. Food has so much less importance to me! I am not remotely scared of hunger. I weigh up whether eating a particular item is worth it! It's amazing!!!

I have always thought that, until I can get my head in the right place for dieting, I will never succeed. And I never have! Sure, I can lose weight....but I jolly well can't keep it off! Obviously, I can't really comment on this subject until I hit maintenance, but it really does seem like the 5:2 WOL could finally be the answer....because something strange is happening to my obsession with food....it is diminishing by the day! I breeze through fast days these days and make conscious choices as opposed to mindless ones on other days. That's not to say I don't slip every so often, because I do, but the way I see it, I was mindless every day of the week....so this is an absolutely great improvement! I've no doubt that this attitude towards food will get stronger & stronger and more of a habit as I go along, but I do agree that being mindful is the key....

P.S. I meant to say that I will check out the people you mentioned....because knowledge is power! Thank you

Re: being kind to yourself....I feel this is something many people need to learn how to do. I am a classic "pleaser" who puts everyone before herself. The only way I have ever known how to be "kind" to myself.....is through food.....lots of it. That said, if I really spent time analysing such behaviour, I would see how very destructive and unhelpful it was.

Unfortunately, I am not in the habit of introspection...but maybe I should start trying to understand what makes me tick......

Yes.

I strongly believe most of us overeat or comfort eat for psychological reasons. Not laziness or lack of discipline or anything like that.

If you watch a thin person eat they naturally leave some of the food on their plate if they are full and say "No, I haven't got room". I do the same on good days, days when I am looking after myself.

If food is the only way we are kind to ourselves and the only way we nurture ourselves then restricting food is cruel. We need to find new ways of self nurture.

This for many of us will include saying No to others as well as No to food!