The FastDay Forum

Hi all

This week I have really struggled with fasting (on my second fast of the week today) and hopped on the scales this morning to find I have stayed the same this week. I started thinking about it and actually there is no mystery to this...

Monday night I got home from work after a busy weekend (two parties so a little overeating) and having had a hungry but successful fasting Monday to the news that my boyfriend (a plasterer) has been laid off from work as there just is no work there. I was so upset, we are saving for a mortgage/engagement/wedding/family/future at the moment and due to neither of us being particularly high earners it's a long and arduous road at the best of times. I was up most of the night worrying about money and felt horribly tearful and I found that Tuesday I had a completely insatiable appetite, not that i ate rubbish/high fat foods...i just ate a lot at each meal, then the same yesterday so i could hardly expect a weight loss this morning!

The difficult thing for me is that I had never before realised that I eat to make myself feel better and the penny has just dropped. It's not that I even think food will help, it's that when as I'm tired or stressed or worried I feel starving, just so hungry. I am really struggling with the fast day today as I am so hungry. I know I can do it, the hunger won't kill me, and I will do it...but it's hard. i'm also worried about what we will eat tonight, i don't want to go the supermarket and spend money on fish/veg etc like I generally do and all i fancy is something like pasta or a jacket potato because I guess it's a carb comfort thing.

I'm not sure if anyone will have any words of wisdom for me and in a way I'm not sure what I'm asking for...I guess I just needed an opportunity to offload.

Thanks, Claire

[Debs]

Hi Claire! been there and done that! I used to be a terrible emotional eater, but don't seem to be any more. I remember someone posting on this a while ago, but I found 'mindful eating' helps. Now I ask myself why. I want something to eat, and recognised that when I was depressed, frustrated, angry, I turned to food, usually high carb, fatty and choccy.
I can imagine it must be really tough for you both at the moment and I can sympathise. At the risk of being told to butt out, why don't you both sit down and work out what your priorities are in terms of what you want? For example, do you really need/want the big engagement party, wedding if that is what you are saving for? Can you do something cheap and intimate and save your money for the house deposit. Focussing on one thing might make things seem more achievable. I know I probably sound like your mother but we have always had a five year plan which helps us focus on what we really want in life.
As I say, feel free to tell me to sod off!

Hi Claire, sorry to hear about your partner's job and fully empathise with the emotional eating. I think many people use food, especially carby stodge, as a prop when we're feeling stressed or upset thinking it will make us feel better when in fact it will probably have the opposite effect and make us feel guilty, sluggish and mad at ourselves for being 'weak willed'.
As Debs says, talk about your worries and make a plan for how to tackle them.
As far as eating goes can you make a nice filling low carb soup (plenty of recipes on the forum), to take the edge off your hunger or a huge veggie stir fry with just a little protein? Best of luck and keep posting to let us know how you get on.

Hi ladies

Thank you so much for your replies, I think it does help to offload and my carb craving is starting to subside a little...so I definitely won't be telling you to sod off Debs

I've got homemade soup for lunch and trying to resist it until about 1.30pm or I'll never manage to last the afternoon without eating the gluten free crackers in my drawer at work! A big chicken stirfry for dinner sounds amazing though - thanks callyanna, that's what I'll do.

I absolutely appreciate what you're saying about priorities etc...we don't want a big engagement party or anything, just a ring! I think it's just so hard though as we're saving hard for a deposit for a home but we know that once we eventually get a mortgage we won't be able to afford to save for a wedding so I'm feeling the pressure of wanting everything but money just standing in our way. I think we feel at a bit of a stop sign in life at the moment and so this latest bit of news just knocked us for six. I keep being reminded that it's only money but I think it becomes more than 'only' money when you don't have any!

Thanks again, i will definitely keep you posted and appreciate the support xx

[Debs]

Thank you indie! It will get better for you I'm sure and we are all here to support, wherever we are in the world

Hi

You are not on your own - firstly i am sorry to hear that your OH has been laid off. You are not on your own when it comes to emotional eating - i am guilty of the same. The best advice i can offer is to take it one day at a time and try to keep in mind that its just 24 hours. I find this is keeping me going & when i fancy some crisps or a sandwich (or whatever i think to myself - you can have as much as you want tomorrow) by which point the "feeling of wanting" has subsided somewhat .

I do hope your OH manages to find some more work shortly.

Tiredness, whether actually needing sleep or emotional stress tiredness, will cause you to crave carbs. Its is a an automatic bodily reaction, you aren't weak willed, you are giving your body what it wants. Its just that what your body wants isn't going to help your long term weight loss plans.

Think of it logically, the best cure for tiredness is to sleep, if you can't sleep the body wants/ needs extra energy now! The quickest way is to eat carbs, which will put sugar into your blood stream very quickly, but will cause another energy slump soon after, but it will keep you going.

Another solution to to go out for a brisk walk or even a run if you can, this will cause the body to start breaking down the fat stores to give you more energy. Going for a walk may seem to be the last thing you want to be doing, but it will be better for you in the long run. Drag your boyfriend out as well and have a chat whilst your doing it. It doesn't have to be a heavy chat, it could just be a gossip, but get out of the house and boost your fat burning and your endorphin's too.

I am a terrible tiredness and emotional eater. Being on these forums has taught me so much about my body and how it works and deals with different situations. The most important factor for me is to get enough sleep, if I sleep I don't over eat the carbs and the weight starts dropping again, I also don't yell so much at everyone.

Don't beat yourself up about this, but understanding what is happening in your body is the first step to controlling what is happening.

I echo what the others have said but I also think that the fact you now realise you are an 'emotional eater' (like loads of people inc me) might make it a bit easier to be 'mindful' of what you eat when you get the urge to overeat. Also don't beat yourself up about it - just treat each day as a new one and if you have a bad day then just start again the day after (I always used to use a binge as an excuse to think I'd completely blown it and go completely off the rails but I don't seem to need to do that now). I do agree with some others on here who have said the urge to binge on rubbish (as I used to frequently) does diminish the longer you do this way of eating. Hope your worries improve soon too.

A massive thank you to all of you for your messages - what a supportive forum this is. I've never actually joined a forum before but am so grateful for the information and support here.

I'm emotionally feeling better as my bf has secured a job A labouring job and not a plastering job and not phenomenally well paid...but a million times better paid than earning nothing and he can look for something more suitable then! However the lesson in emotional eating has been an interesting one and the information here is great. Julieathome - thank you for the post about tiredness/carbs etc, definitely food (haha) for thought and so worth being aware of. I got out of the office and walked round the building (not far because I had about 5 minutes!) but it definitely helped and I will continue to do that on non-fast days too when a craving appears.

2fastornot2fast _ i have spent all day thinking that tomorrow I will have a chip butty which I haven't had for years, no doubt I won't want one tomorrow but the thought of tomorrow is definitely helpful in this WOE...and loversghost you're absolutely right, when 'dieting' previously if i have messed up I've used it an excuse to binge but the 'I'll binge tomorrow' feeling does help. I just need to get abit better at doing the same thing during the non-fast days!

Thank you so much everyone, i'm heading home to a big chicken stir fry with a lesson learned in my own reactions to food & emotions.

Congrats on your bf's job - it must be a weight off your mind

Hey Indie, sounds like you are really getting to know what makes you tick and what sets you off foodwise. I think the same is happening for me too. I'm constantly thinking of what I will eat next and definitely crave the comfort carbs.

Stress does not help and this economy does not help the stress. Your concerns on bf job status and engagement stuff really resonates with me. As an older bride, I thought I was past all the hoopla of wedding planning, but since hubs wasn't working and I had just started a job at a lower salary, I was stressing about doing "something" meaningful. The key is to find a way to do something special for the 2 of you - not what anyone else wants (unless they want to pay for it, excellent!) We did city hall and a weekend away and friends hosted a lovely party for us the night before. You can always plan a re-commitment or other ceremony down the road when the finances allow.

Re the eating - awareness is key so you're already on track! I think this plan does make you more aware of what hunger is. For me when I get snacky on a non-fast day, I sometimes tell myself, you didn't eat a bite until dinner on yesterday's fast day, so there's no way you "need" that cookie. (But sometimes I just eat the cookie...it's a process!) Good luck to you and thanks for sharing your struggles.

Hey there

Really sorry to hear about your boyfriend's job situation - although pleased he's got some work. It must make you feel so unsettled.

Just wanted to weigh in (!) and let you know you're not alone. My first thought when reading this was 'yes that's me' but then realised it isn't really any more, not in the main. The 'I can have it tomorrow' thing is really helpful on fast days, but now I'm realising how little food I need to keep me going, even on non-fast days, I don't have much leeway to stuff my face so I try and make each meal count (and I'm working on not snacking too much between meals, although if I do I try and plan and enjoy them).

I read a few healthy living blogs - a couple of my faves are:

http://ohsheglows.com/ - a vegan blog, which, although I'm not a vegan, has loads of fab recipe ideas, and lots of healthy treat ideas. Whilst the treats are not always low calorie (I've just made the 'peanut better balls' today - yum!), they tend to be low in sugars and have lots of wholesome ingredients, so you tend to be satisfied with less. And she looks so smiley and glowing you can't help but think 'I'll have what she's having!'

http://keepinghealthygettingstylish.com/ - this has lots of recipes but also lots of 'what I ate' type posts with lots of pics of delicious healthy food - much of it low-carb, veggie packed and looks amazing, but it also has musings on the blogger's own journey of weight loss & gain so you can really identify with her.

I find looking at these blogs helps me to feel inspired by healthy food, get ideas and it prompts me to think about the kinds of foods I really want to eat - things which will really do me good, not just taste good (although that's a big factor too). I'm not immune to a few 'empty calorie' moments - I demolished a couple of slices of sara lee gateau last week 'because it needed using up' (what, really? Am I now a dustbin?!). But having lots of ideas and tools to help me want to eat amazing food that is going to do me good, has certainly helped me to avoid the 'fill my face with chocolate or crisps' moments too often (although 3 weeks ago in the post-Christmas slump it was a different story!) I know that if I want something sweet & chocolatey I can have it, but I could also make myself a hot chocolate with almond milk & cocoa, or I could have a banana & oat smoothie with cocoa & maple syrup which will not be as sweet (but yes will still have sugars, however natural they are) and I will be more likely to stop after just the one. I also try and imagine all the food I've eaten that day on a table in front of me and think about the balance of colours, foods etc. Sometimes the snacks can add up a bit too easily!

But at the end of the day, it sounds like life is stressful enough without beating yourself up too much. Like others have said, berating yourself for 'failing' will only make you feel more of a failure, and if you feel like a failure you won't feel you're worth the effort of trying. But you are!

Sorry this has got a bit of a long reply - got a bit carried away!

I LOVE this forum.

What lovely, helpful and informative replies - thank you!! Fitfunk and Greenmonstre there is so much i could say back to both of your replies, but I think the easiest thing is just to say...yes, yes, yes! I nodded my way through both and will refer back to this thread whenever I have a down day or am feeling low.

We had a lovely stir fry last night and we celebrated my b/f's new job with a glass of sparkling water and stuck to the fast, felt very proud. i went to bed thinking 'tomorrow I'm going to have a slap up breakfast and enjoy it' and yet have woken up not hungry and just had a slice of toast...I feel good and relaxed and happy today and I know that it partly due to the fact that he has work (which it turns out is on about £5000 a year more than he was on before!!) but also because I managed yesterday to stay in control and it sort of proved that I didn't NEED what I thought my body needed, I just really wanted it. It's a lesson that food doesn't actually fill the emotional hole that opens up...it just offers some very short term fix.

A lot to think about, a lot to learn but I appreciate that this WOE is teaching me more about my body/psyche than any other ever has...and hopefully that leads on to a permanent change in my WOL not a fad diet just to shift some weight. Having said that i am in the office on my own this morning with both colleagues being off on leave and the first thing I thought was...mmm...I could eat those cadbury's roses, so maybe I still have some way to go

Thanks again and greenmonster I will be checking out those blogs so thank you. And fitfunk...your wedding sounds beautiful and you're absolutely right - I will definitely remember that as we're planning around finances, it's just about our commitment to one another...not what others expect.

Thanks everyone xx

So glad you're feeling more in control of your eating and ready to carry on fasting. Great news about your boyfriend's new job!

Hi Indie, a lot of excellent advice here, not much to add and you have probably heard this before but this is a way of life not just a diet. If/when you are having a hard time getting through the fast days or you start putting on weight instead of losing, please don't worry, it happens to us all from time to time.

I too have a comfort eating habit, I have a lot of stress in my life which is worse at some times than others so very often I go a bit mad, binging my way through several days (always eating healthy food but way too much of it), I always manage to eventually get back to 5:2 and a sensible eating pattern though. I've been doing this for over a year, I'm on maintenance now but after overeating when I was on 5:2 I used to change to 4:3 for a week or two to get me back on track. There are many ways of getting through the fasts if you are finding it difficult, luckily there is plenty of advice here. I find that one of the ways of dealing with feeling low and depressed is to come here and look through the info and helpful posts, some of them are so funny that I'm soon laughing and feeling better again.

So glad that your boyfriend has found a new job, I hope you can soon achieve everything that you aim for. All the best