The FastDay Forum

For reasons I'm not sure of ,when my hubby is home I just can't do it. I can't fast, I can't impose eating windows on myself my willpower just disappears. He is off this week and after my first loss and celebrations of having control it's all gone, I'm sure the weight I lost is clumbing on again. I am so lazy too. Everything goes out the window, my routine, my getting up and walking.. everything. It's a problem really. I Don't know what to do.

Hi @debsie, I'm sorry to hear you're struggling! My partner and myself love food and he is very naturally slim and seems to be able to eat what he wants and not put on a pound! When I first started I really struggled when he was around, so much so that I make sure I fast when I'm at work now. He knows how serious I am about this now and how important it is to me that in the evening he now shares my fast day meal with me (I'm sure he sneaks his hand in the cookie jar when I'm not looking, but out of sight out of mind!).

Have you tried to tell your partner how important this is for you and how serious you are about it? Try explaining how carrying the extra weight makes you feel about yourself, and how much you need his support.

Good luck, you'll get there! Keep the faith!

[carieoates]

I'm sorry that you are struggling too. You just have to work it through, be strong. After all if you want it badly enough you'll find the solution. Maybe if you talk about "being good" or "eating light" on certain days. Yes have you told him how important this is for you ?
I hope you get there in the end.

Sometimes we just have to put ourselves first. I get little support too but this is important to me so I ignore all going on around me on fast days and stick with it. I am doing this for me so if others want to eat that is fine. I don't want to.

I can sympathise with you as my husband is retired and doesn't go out much. Finding it difficult having to prepare meals for him when I just don't want to eat and then eating something to keep him happy because he says it's bad to miss a meal! Even then, he comments that it I'm not eating enough, so I just can't win. I just need to lose about a stone (7kg) and know that I would feel much better. So, can't offer any advice, especially as I put on 0.8lb this week!

@debsie have you actually told him what you've said to us? It might be a good idea to have a talk to him. Failing that you might need to observe what triggers this reaction in yourself when he's home. You really need to get him on board with this so that he can help..... I am sure he would if he knew.

I always eat three meals a day, also on fast days (but with small portions of course). This way you can always eat together, only the amount varies. At dinner on a fast day I just eat a very small portion of whatever is on the menu. This way you do not have to cook seperate meals and I have always seen this as a major advantage of 5:2 over 'real diets'

Could it be that being home with yr hubs = feeling cosy,wanting to enjoy eating all kinds of goodies together?
I find i feel this way when i get together with DD..thoughts of fasting go out the window and i want nice lunches,cozy suppers, lashings of wine etc etc etc...
Not too much of a prob as she doesnt live with me..as this is your Hub i think you' ll just have to try to change your mindset..make sure he knows what youre doing/ why youre doing it..maybe he too can try this WOL with you? And just give yourselves a break together at holidaytimes etc?

Could it be that being home with yr hubs = feeling cosy,wanting to enjoy eating all kinds of goodies together?
I find i feel this way when i get together with DD..thoughts of fasting go out the window and i want nice lunches,cozy suppers, lashings of wine etc etc etc...
Not too much of a prob as she doesnt live with me..as this is your Hub i think you' ll just have to try to change your mindset..make sure he knows what youre doing/ why youre doing it..maybe he too can try this WOL with you? And just give yourselves a break together at holidaytimes etc?

This is exactly it, I just want to relax, enjoy things. He'll say get a pie when you're out or whatever. We both like comfort food, ice cream, cakes, pies. He is much worse than me, today for example he said get me a donut so I did and I went home and he said "one you just got me one donut?!" So I suppose the problem is my resolve. I got him one donut cos I knew if I got him two or more I would have wanted one. So I suppose I will just have to practice saying no. It is also me, I will buy things like ben and jerrys we can eat together cos I know we just love it. I'll just try and be stronger. Thanks all. Oh and he is well aware of the circumstances but he has even less willpower than me so that's probably the issue too.

[carorees]

I understand exactly how you feel and it is one of the reasons I have chosen to use the 16:8 method of fasting. I enjoy sharing meals with OH and as we both work from home most days, I was missing our lunches together on fast days. So, I thought about what eating times I wouldn't mind not sharing with him and decided I would rather stay in bed a bit longer than get up and have breakfast with him, so I elected to share lunch, afternoon tea and dinner and to fast from after dinner through to lunch every day.

So, my tip would be to think about which eating times are most and least important for you to share and to try to work out a method of fasting that will fit best with this, allowing you to decrease your total food intake but not feel deprived of enjoying food together.

Maybe he would be willing to make certain sacrifices on your behalf too. For example, no food of any kind after, say 8.30 pm until the next day. That way he won't be eating without you and not snacking in the evening would be good for you both!

Good luck.

My DH knows he can have fry ups, donuts and pineapple humps as I don't like any of them. He also likes toast and marmite yuck yuck. He is retired and around all the time so it as well we have sorted out something that is manageable for both of us. He also loves to cook so can do his own fried bacon, sausages, eggs etc.