The FastDay Forum

Does anyone else have unsupportive OH's?

I started this a couple of weeks ago and am enjoying the freedom it gives me most of the time. However, on my 2 fast days my OH is so unsupportive. He moans if he has to sort food out for only him (cooking isn't his problem; he does most of the cooking here), moans at the 'tasteless' food if he does happen to eat the same as me and complains about how inconvienient it is.

Just now he's compared the bulgar wheat I'm sorting for my tea (Hairy Bikers harrisa chicken with bulgar wheat salad) to sick.

It's not as if he couldn't do with losing weight as well - in fact he has more to lose than me but he's not in the right place mentally whereas I am.

Sorry moan over,

Thanks for 'listening'.

My OH pretends to be supportive but then brings chocolate or cake home when he knows I'm fasting. He also 'forgets' that it's a fast day and suggests eating out. I say no to eating out and avoid the chocolate and cake but I could do without the temptation!
I thought he'd prefer this to when I've done SW or WW as it's far less restrictive but he still manages to moan on the two days a week it s restrictive.

People don't like change. He also knows he should lose weight.

Fix him with an unsympathetic glare and tell him to do one.

Then remove yourself from his presence. Don't reward moaning with trying to placate him, let him get on with it.

Sounds like you have more to take on than just this new way of eating. The results will show how well this works. Keep up your spirits and hopefully one day he will join this journey. Being overweight brings with it a certain level of depression and misery loves company. Hopeful that this will turn around for you as you continue to feel and look healthier

I also meant to say that your OH may be jealous that you are in the right place to lose weight and he isn't. It may be making him feel insecure that you are being successful. My OH has no such excuses as he's a healthy weight and eats like a horse!

Hi Olibelle,
Sorry to hear OH making things tough for you, hopefully once he sees you getting good results he will join you & things will become easier.

There is always plenty of support on here so if you need a listening ear you know where to come.

[wildmissus]

Can you link your laptop to your TV and watch the Eat, Fast, Live Longer programme together (see FAQ's for link). This worked a treat for me. I didn't tell me OH until one day he made me lunch and I was fasting. When I told him all about it he was very skeptical. After we watched the programme he turned round to me and said 'I'll start fasting with you' and he has been 5:2ing with me ever since. He is still a pain because all he does all day on a fast day is ask me what he can eat.

My OH did the same - once he'd seen the program he decided to join me, but he doesn't like talking about it, just doing it.

Hi - I almost have the same problem as you, Olibelle - do you think we both have the same OH leading a double life ???? !!!!

My OH is the least demonstrative of men and clearly thought me mad doing 5:2. Happily, (or unhappily depending on how you look at it) it would never cross his mind to bring cake etc. home, whatever the occasion, and he wasn't bothered if I lost weight or not. The other day he joked about me turning into a skeleton (not true) so I asked him "aren't you proud of me?" Answer, an emphatic "yes" and a big grin. So he's got used to the idea and likes it.

My OH is also finding being supportive a challenge, he always brings home treats on my fast days, often tells me surely it won't matter to have a bite/try something etc. interestingly it brings out my stubborn side and makes me more determined! Part is jealousy I think as he can see its working and he would like to be able to try it, but he is type1 diabetic and don't think it would work although I have been encouraging him to try two low calorie days a week as an alternative! Maybe he's finding your new culinary skills threatening!

Hi sorry your OH is being unsupportive. If it's any help it's a classic pattern in psychology when others around us feel threatened by change - and ask us to "change back". He may feel that you won't want him as much once you're slimmer or that you are judging him for not joining in.

I got my son and husband to watch the horizon programme and got OH to read the book. They are now doing it with me which definitely helps.

I have the opposite problem as my OH tries not to eat in front of me and he really needs to as he's lost weight!

He's a sweetie though. But I grew up with awkward men and taking a firm line is the only way!

Jealousy it is, fear of change as well.
I'd go with the unsympathetic glare and if it doesn't help I'd say something like "I'm doing this whether you like it or not so do us both a favour and quit being an oversized baby".

I am the OH who had to be pestered into watching the programme and then decided I wanted to start right away. Now I think my fair lady sometimes wishes we had never started 5:2, because I go on and on about it so much. Still at least she sees a bit less of me (because there's less to see)...