The FastDay Forum

Sorry to hear that, I'm so lucky that my OH is generally very supportive.
Have you called him out on it? Sometimes it helps to explain how his behaviour makes you feel. Can he explain what his problem is, and how he would propose to solve it while still being respectful and supportive to your goals and wishes? If he can't, I'm afraid you have to ignore his childish behaviour and look fo support elsewhere. Ignore bad behaviour and reward any move in the right direction.
There's plenty of support to be had here on the forum!

My OH doesn't understand this WOE, he has in the past done a few 3 day water fasts as a 'cleanser' when he has felt a bit yukey, so to him fasting is just having water. I have been a lifetime yoyo dieter since we met 35 years ago. I have now ditched the low fat WOE and since May 2011 have lost 4 stone which he is pleased about because my health is better, no more knee pain etc. I now eat natural food mainly and instead of watching fat I watch my sugar intake. Anyway before Christmas I reached a Plateau and gained a bit over Christmas which led me to try 5:2 in January. I lost the gain pretty quick and am close to another stone off. I bought some mini magnums as a treat for me when he has his big dish of icecream and if I eat one OH says "I thought you were dieting", He can't understand I can have what I fancy now in moderation, I have been restricted for so many years I now feel like I have my life back. When I am on a fast day I cook him something I don't like such as liver and onions (yuk). I wish he would leave my magnums alone he eats three at a time.I may explain 5:2 to him again one day and it might sink in, who knows.

Here's a generalised thought regarding OH's and is aimed at no one in particular - just food for thought (so to speak)

When you meet your partner for life there is usually a kind of ritualistic courtship/attraction stuff going on - I am by no means an expert having been married now for over 20 years but I recall in my distant past making more of an effort before going out whilst single on the off chance that it might just be a lucky night

Of course once you make the choice to settle down with the OH of your dreams things change and you both (hopefully) end up maturing and growing old together - the need to be visually more attractive reduces - often this helps deter other potential suitors in order to keep your relationship in a stable/safe/secure and predictable place. As humans, above pretty much all else we value safe and predicatable.

Anyway - if your OH sees you making an effort to change your appearance, what subconscious messages is that sending out? Would the other half therefore start to feel vulnerable, insecure, challenged etc etc etc

I'm not for one minute saying they are - just something to think about when 'change' happens.

My OH is also finding being supportive a challenge, he always brings home treats on my fast days, often tells me surely it won't matter to have a bite/try something etc. interestingly it brings out my stubborn side and makes me more determined! Part is jealousy I think as he can see its working and he would like to be able to try it, but he is type1 diabetic and don't think it would work although I have been encouraging him to try two low calorie days a week as an alternative! Maybe he's finding your new culinary skills threatening!

Hi, my OH is Type 1 diabetic too. I think he is a bit jealous he can't do it. Having said that he tried to do a bit of a fast last week (didn't tell me until later) and felt sick the next day - sugars went all over the place. I told him off for doing it.
Anyway I find now that I try to save most calories for the evening we can eat together and he doesn't have it in 'his face' so to speak. He is appreciative of my emerging figure.

Olibelle, I think that's really quite sad that he's being like that to you. I do hope something happens to make him change his way about this - you're being positive, taking control of your health/life and he's not giving you the back up you need. Try and get him to watch the programme and then he may change his attitude -I do hope so. In the meantime come here and we'll all support as much as we are able - sending positive thoughts your way......

I think that if my OH complained as much as yours is doing, Olibelle, I'd make sure that I went out for a walk whenever he started moaning. That way, I wouldn't have to listen, I'd be getting a nice healthy walk, and he would be left talking to himself.

I do hope he settles down soon; it must be very tiring and irritating for you.

I only told OH at the weekend, 9 weeks in. I had been moving my fast days around so that he was never home in the evenings or lying that I had a big lunch and not eating dinner. The reason is that he calls every attempt I make to loose weight a "fad" so if he sees me change my eating pattern he asks "What fad are you on now" he grew up really skinny and his family are all naturally thin so he has no idea what it is really like. He is adamant that this is some american fad and that I am going to faint, crash the car and kill our children - I have not had one dizzy spell since starting and prior to this I regularly suffered from them. The support on this forum and especially the feedback from so many of the men following the plan has really helped me just ignore him

Thank you everyone and it's nice to know I'm not alone.

Today he has been significantly better and I have reiterated to him that it is working for me. I even suggested that he join in (which I feel he may do at some point in the future). I've also taken to critising his (bad) eating habits so I think I'm over the worst of it! I think he's realised it doesn't matter one jot what he says, I'm sticking with this so we can either work together at making it work for me or he can be a pig about it.

I really do think some of his attitude was, much like many have said, jealously, insecurity etc.....I knew all this really but it has helped to have it reinforced!


Onwards and upwards....

Have you ever thought of knocking them on the head with a frying pan?
No?
Fair enough!

I also meant to say that your OH may be jealous that you are in the right place to lose weight and he isn't. It may be making him feel insecure that you are being successful.

This x 1000000.

[carorees]

Have you ever thought of knocking them on the head with a frying pan?
No?
Fair enough!

Sorry to hear your OH is unsupportive. Mine has been ok - I think he finds it easier to know that "I'm fasting" on two regular days a week than sticking to a strict diet all the time. Also he still gets the same meals...when I did WW years ago he had all the Time To Eat recipes with me...I think he was a bit hungry and actually lost weight himself even though I gave him about three times the portions I was having! He has really cut down on cigarettes recently - switched to electronic so nicotine only and down to a quarter of what he was having in nicotine terms. So it's good that we are both trying to make healthy changes. I think he might have to do TFD when he finally gives up smoking though as he is putting weight on, but I'd rather he weighed more and didn't smoke TBH.