Sorry to hear of your troubles. Try and take care of yourself too, you need to stay well to help those who aren't.
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Take care Manderley and don't forget yourself. It sounds like everybody is depending on you at the mo which is a tough call, but you do need to look after yourself and you do deserve it. Hopefully things will settle down soon for you and yours - we miss your posts, but do understand; don't hesitate to post if you need more support, it'll be here when you need it.
Thank you for your support. In the middle of a storm it's great to know we have a safe heaven.
These days I am in a kind of automatic mode. My dear mother really is bitchy when she's sick or injured and it's pretty difficult. She wanted to go to the hospital a few days ago, now she wants to go home, calls my dad in the middle of the night and I want to slap her silly sometimes. I know I shouldn't say that but damn, maybe it could make her think straight again. She's only 72 and I really really don't see myself looking after her for the next 15/20 years (I am an optimistic) if she is that way
About my weight loss, I eat regularly, 2 times a day (no breakfast, never hungry in the morning),but stress seems to make me lose weight. Before I began fasting stress made me gain weight even if I wasn't on a binge or even ate junk of processed food. To give you an example, here's the last 2 days menus :
Saturday lunch : chicken breast, cauliflower and potatoes steamed and bake, strawberries
dinner : endives and tomatoes salad with a ham and cheddar (with a hint of mustard) bruschetta
Sunday lunch : tuna, ratatouille and wholegrain pastas bake with strawberries as a dessert (I bought 1kg last Thursday)
dinner : endives salad with a homemade tomato tart
Everything is homemade and fairly healthy, no junk food, no big portions but I eat 2 times a day. Now that I think of it, there is a natural 18 hours fast everyday as I don't eat between 7:00PM and 1:00PM the next day.....Damn.....
These days I am in a kind of automatic mode. My dear mother really is bitchy when she's sick or injured and it's pretty difficult. She wanted to go to the hospital a few days ago, now she wants to go home, calls my dad in the middle of the night and I want to slap her silly sometimes. I know I shouldn't say that but damn, maybe it could make her think straight again. She's only 72 and I really really don't see myself looking after her for the next 15/20 years (I am an optimistic) if she is that way
About my weight loss, I eat regularly, 2 times a day (no breakfast, never hungry in the morning),but stress seems to make me lose weight. Before I began fasting stress made me gain weight even if I wasn't on a binge or even ate junk of processed food. To give you an example, here's the last 2 days menus :
Saturday lunch : chicken breast, cauliflower and potatoes steamed and bake, strawberries
dinner : endives and tomatoes salad with a ham and cheddar (with a hint of mustard) bruschetta
Sunday lunch : tuna, ratatouille and wholegrain pastas bake with strawberries as a dessert (I bought 1kg last Thursday)
dinner : endives salad with a homemade tomato tart
Everything is homemade and fairly healthy, no junk food, no big portions but I eat 2 times a day. Now that I think of it, there is a natural 18 hours fast everyday as I don't eat between 7:00PM and 1:00PM the next day.....Damn.....
Hi @Manderley glad things are at least no worse for you at this time, regarding your fasting times the way I understand it the length is good providing you eat healthily foods as you are doing, I'm sure someone more helpful will be along soon to advise you further but maybe increasing your good fat intake with butter + nuts will help you to put a little meat on your bones. Lol
Take care of yourself before everyone else just for now.
Take care of yourself before everyone else just for now.
Hi @Manderley
Just read this and wanted to send you a big hug
Just read this and wanted to send you a big hug
Thinking of you and sending hugs. Say whatever you want about your mum and feel no guilt. You need to unload in a safe place and that place is here.
Xxx
Xxx
I think you need to go and buy a big Toblerone!!
Hope things ease up for you soon and don't go getting all skinny on us or we will have to force feed you with that Toblerone that Sd just recommended
Ballerina x
Ballerina x
Hugs from me.
Take care @Manderley. Hang in there through these tough times! Sending love!
Best wishes from me too.
I know it seems no one cares any more.
Hang in there.
I know it seems no one cares any more.
Hang in there.
Thank you all for your support, it really warms my heart, even if I don't have time to come here these days, you all stay in my thoughts.
To give you some news, it's getting worse. Not the injury but my mother's attitude. From bitchy she became nasty, threatening my dad with a divorce because he doesn't obey what she wants (which is come home, impossible as she still doesn't walk or even stay out of bed more than 30 minutes). She constantly is in a state of rage, blackmailing us (she threatens to let herself die), she wets her bed on purpose because we dare to not give her the painkillers she wants us to give her (in addition to the morphine the hospital gives her)
Sunday I broke down in tears, not in front of her, she would have been way too pleased with that. It was a nervous breakdown because of all the tension and a male nurse, who is absolutely a doll, took the time to talk with me and everything went "well" after that (I didn't talk at all to my mother). Why do I still go will you ask ? For my dad, not for her. The time I am with her is the only break he has and it's my duty as his daughter to do everything I can to help him, even if I despise her.
I am still losing weight (1kg last week), even if I eat way more than usual, and the weight loss is becoming kind of an issue. I do 2 meals a day, eat carbs, fat, meat, don't count the calories but my weight still goes down. The good news, however, is that everything else is fine, my GP did a blood test, the results are good, my blood pressure is a bit low but not that low. He couldn't give me anything to help, the only thing is he wants to see me twice a month to be sure everything are fine as I am now a bit more than 20 kgs under my height (minus 1m, of course)
If you have some advice on how interract with a nasty sick person, please, don't hesitate, I am all ears.....
To give you some news, it's getting worse. Not the injury but my mother's attitude. From bitchy she became nasty, threatening my dad with a divorce because he doesn't obey what she wants (which is come home, impossible as she still doesn't walk or even stay out of bed more than 30 minutes). She constantly is in a state of rage, blackmailing us (she threatens to let herself die), she wets her bed on purpose because we dare to not give her the painkillers she wants us to give her (in addition to the morphine the hospital gives her)
Sunday I broke down in tears, not in front of her, she would have been way too pleased with that. It was a nervous breakdown because of all the tension and a male nurse, who is absolutely a doll, took the time to talk with me and everything went "well" after that (I didn't talk at all to my mother). Why do I still go will you ask ? For my dad, not for her. The time I am with her is the only break he has and it's my duty as his daughter to do everything I can to help him, even if I despise her.
I am still losing weight (1kg last week), even if I eat way more than usual, and the weight loss is becoming kind of an issue. I do 2 meals a day, eat carbs, fat, meat, don't count the calories but my weight still goes down. The good news, however, is that everything else is fine, my GP did a blood test, the results are good, my blood pressure is a bit low but not that low. He couldn't give me anything to help, the only thing is he wants to see me twice a month to be sure everything are fine as I am now a bit more than 20 kgs under my height (minus 1m, of course)
If you have some advice on how interract with a nasty sick person, please, don't hesitate, I am all ears.....
Have you tried shaming her by answering her cruel remarks with a big hug and saying, (oh my darling we love you so much and wish we could take all your pain away) it may work maybe she is very frightened and acting like a frightened child.
@ManderleyI'm so sorry that your mum is this way with you because she is the reason you're losing weight whichyou can't afford to do.
Glad your bloods are OK and that your GP is keeping an eye on you, that's some good news at least.
As @Nessie has said she's behaving like a child which apparently some people do in old age although I don't think your mum can be old exactly, but treating her childlike may work I'm sure you've kindof tried that one because we do humour people when I'll just to make life easier for us, the only other advice I can give is next time this happens and it will happen again stand up tell her off!!! then walk out.
Warn your dad in advance of course it may work if you both walked away until the next visit then behave as if nothing happened and repeat as and when needed.
Hugs + love to you at this terrible time but you look after #1 YOU First then #2 your dad before mum
Glad your bloods are OK and that your GP is keeping an eye on you, that's some good news at least.
As @Nessie has said she's behaving like a child which apparently some people do in old age although I don't think your mum can be old exactly, but treating her childlike may work I'm sure you've kindof tried that one because we do humour people when I'll just to make life easier for us, the only other advice I can give is next time this happens and it will happen again stand up tell her off!!! then walk out.
Warn your dad in advance of course it may work if you both walked away until the next visit then behave as if nothing happened and repeat as and when needed.
Hugs + love to you at this terrible time but you look after #1 YOU First then #2 your dad before mum
Glad to read your update Manderley even if things are still difficult. I don't have any advice to give as my own mother is only in her 50s so I haven't been confronted with this yet (though she did get quite difficult when she broke her leg last year!) but I'm sure others can offer advice, and I hope things get better for you!
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