The FastDay Forum

Good morning@Riel well, what have we here? One very unhappy bunny, oh dear oh dear, what are we all going to do with you? Not say goodbye, that's for sure, we don't do that here. We are all here for the same reasons as you so as the others have said, just jump straight in. You sound a little bit depressed to me and and I would bet there is not person on this forum who does not know what that feels like, myself included. The 'black dog' is a terrible beast to have as a pet, not as nice as a cat, it stalks your every move so you need to get control of it where possible, not always easy. As the others have said, just keep posting, goodness only knows but I must post more absolute rubbish than anyone else on here but it keeps me in touch with everyone and that is very important. As suggested, welcoming newbies is always a great start and people are always thankful that someone has reached out to them.

Good luck with your weight, let us all know how it goes because we're a nosy bunch

Ballerina x

[wildmissus]

When I saw the topic 'Unhappy' by @Riel I thought oh dear, I wonder what you are unhappy about because I 'know' you, you are the lady with the lovely cat avatar. So it was your name that made me read your topic.

I was however not expecting to read what you wrote. This is the first and only forum I have joined and what a place. To start with nobody knew who I was so I could write whatever I wanted - I didn't have to be me, if you see what I mean. Sometimes I have written posts that I thought were really good only to have very few replies but the more I joined in the more I felt a part of it so much so that I was asked to be a moderator. I have also met a few of the other members - they are lovely and the are just ordinary people like you and me with ups and downs. I have been on here almost a year and a half, I have lost weight but much more than that I have gained confidence and self esteem. This forum is one hell of a support group. You just have to let people help.

One thing I have to say that I am guilty of is coming on here all the time and reading what people have been saying and not replying to posts, so when people don't reply to post it doesn't mean they are not reading them.

There is a really good but old topic on mental health discussing serious stuff to mild depression which you might find useful -

https://forum.fastday.com/chat-f12/topic5844.html?hilit=mental%20health

And on a lighter note, this is a picture I posted on the gardeners tent of new kind of plant I've been growing in a pot by my front door!

Stick with us @Riel and you'll find we'll stick with you and you won't be able to get rid of us.

@@wildmissus that is one grumpy looking pussycat

.

Testing..... I can't get any posts through at the moment

@Riel I was sad to read your post and I hope you are feeling happier now. I'm sorry if I was one that hasn't responded to your posts there's just so much going on here that I miss a lot of it.
Feeling like an outsider isn't nice, I've felt like that often through my life too. You know what though I think it is sometimes just our perception and not reality. So please don't leave us here and know you are always welcome.

@izzy I completed the Race for life today and I thank you for your donation. I wanted to wait until I finished the race to thank anyone, and you are the only person I have thanked.

Well done @Riel on completing the Race!
Sorry i didnt donate,but i get asked to sponsor so many things,i can't say yes to them all ..money's too tight. You must feel soo happy with yrself after such a fab achievement! X

Great achievement @riel. Like @candicemarie money is tight. As a pension-eer (yes, you did read that right) I can't donate, though I would love to.
I have, however, boosted many a charity fund with my donations of clothes. I am reduced to 2 pairs trews and 5 T shirts!

Well done Riel! Come on girl, we are all here - so come join us and share our confidence. We all have tough challenges in life - the last 2 years have turned me on my head BIG time (bonk -ouch!) but I'm moving towards grounding my feet firmly back to the centre. I'm so busy with work I find it hard to respond to everyone, so please don't feel you are not appreciated. I love 5:2 and the forum as it is SO friendly and has changed my life to the positive,

Liz see you soon x

Oh @Riel, I am so very sorry you feel the way you do.

I can only speak from my experience of the forum...and for me, it has been overwhelmingly positive since I joined nearly 7 months ago. When I first started posting, I had no idea about other people's backgrounds or lives. Bit by bit, you find things out about people...if they want you to know. Some are guarded and anonymous, some are open and forthcoming.....but we are all united in a common goal, to become more healthy and drop our excess weight.

So, already by joining the forum, you are part of "our" club......which means you automatically "belong" and are most welcome too.

Life often means that I don't have much time to post on here...same as everyone. Sometimes I mean to post a reply....but then forget. Sometimes, I write quite a bit....but it all depends on the various other pressures around at any given time. That's why I like the "thumbs up" thank facility in the top right of each post - because it lets people know you appreciated what they took the time to write...even if you can't reply.

Since being on the forum, I have discovered I have so much in common with other members - things that might have nothing to do with weight loss, but everything to do with life...and how we live it.

I can and have shared my experiences of:
Depression
Low self-esteem
Comfort eating
Having a child with autism
Negativity
Poor relationships with parents

with anyone who would care to listen! Probably the only thing on the list above that hasn't driven me to consume large quantities of food...has been having my unique son. Everything else is inextricably bound up in my relationship with food.....

When I log back on to the forum, I eagerly check whether anyone has thanked me for a post. Ditto whether anyone has tagged me.....or replied to anything I have said. All my life, I have had a problem with "mattering" to people.....as in, I just want (need) to matter. For many many years, I haven't felt I mattered to hardly anyone. So I seek out signs that I might matter...in all areas of my life, including this forum. One important thing I want to say to you though, Riel, is that until you matter to yourself, nothing anyone else says or does will be enough. I have lost over 3 much needed stones...and I have at least 2 stone more to lose yet. I am not yet at a healthy BMI. BUTI really want you to know that as my self esteem has increased, my "neediness" has declined. I am more forgiving if I don't see a "thank" and more understanding if people don't reply to something I've said. This is particularly true on the "fasting today" thread - sometimes I've thought I've written something worth commenting on...only to find that it hasn't warranted a reply. How do I deal with that? Simply by recognising that if I have something to say that I really want others to read....I will start a new thread (always assuming it is a new topic, of course). Let's be honest though, there wouldn't be enough hours in the day to reply to everything that is written on here...so we all have to be a bit selective.

In all honesty, I have often been overwhelmed by the support I have received on here. At the forefront of my mind though, has always been to be as supportive as possible on the forum....because, as the old saying goes....what goes around, comes around. If you're down, but I am "up"...I can lift you up a bit. When the positions are reversed, it would be nice if you helped me....and so it goes.....

Have you ever visited the Mountaineering Tent (Fastonbury Glamping Grounds)? It is not so active these days, but there is tons in there about emotional eating & poor relationships with relatives etc. I have not posted there lately...mainly because my mood is so much better these days that I am now looking forwards...rather than backwards...and it is all down to successfully following 5:2 and the wonderful support I have had from this forum.

So, as you can see, Riel, from the length of this post and the number of other replies you have had - you really do matter to us here....but you need to please open up a little about yourself to allow us to support you.

You have everything to gain by doing this - I promise!

Sending you a big hug xx

Wow Hazelnut. What a lovely well thought out post. You matter to me, I always find your posts interesting and worthwhile but like you, I don't always have time to respond at the time and then I forget. I'm anonymous here because I would hate it if I thought anyone I know in real life was reading my posts. Funny things aren't we? All different, yet all the same

@Hazelnut20 that is so thoughtfully and beautifully said. @Reil can you feel the love?

Awww, thanks for that @Wendy Darling & @Lizbean - my Matter-o-Meter has just registered a big jump having read your lovely posts...& seen the "thanks's" from my other forum friends!

I'm so touched...that I need to make an admission......

Hazelnut....is not my real name!

I too like the anonymity......because it enables me to be open & honest on here, which is a lovely feeling

Hazelnut. What a lovely reply. I too have a 5 year old son with autism and if I had to declare a hobby, he would be it! He's totally gorgeous and I wouldn't have him any other way. Depression ranks up there, I am on medication and have a while ago had a problem with drinking but he put all that into perspective. I love the forum.

Alex x x