Hi Bree,
I'm sure there are lots of opinions on this, and there's some very interesting science behind the explanations for why snacking/grazing (on a regular basis) may not be a great idea. But another interesting point is that "calorie cycling" (I.e. keeping your body guessing) can be a great weightless strategy so maybe you could snack/graze a couple of days a week, do your fast on two days, and stick with three square meals on the other days. It might work for you, but you'll simply have to try it out and see if you're getting the results you're looking for.
Even though a lot of the hype about 5:2 and other Intermittent Fasting methods focuses on "you can eat what you like/ not count calories on non-fast days", as you've noticed the important detal is that you need to eat "normally" - and "normal" is actually defined by your TDEE (not by whatever you may have eaten on a normal day in the past, or what's normal for someone else).
So I think it's a good idea to at least start off your first few weeks keeping a track of calories on your non-fast days. A rough estimate within the nearest 100 will do, it doesn't have to be obsessive. The point is to aim to consume your TDEE *ON AVERAGE* over the five non-fast days. Some days can be higher, some lower. Some days could be 'grazing', some not.
After a few weeks of keeping an eye on your calorie intake, it should hopefully start to come quite naturally. I'm in my third week and am still mentally totting up running-totals as I go along each non-fast day, to make sure I'm comfortably within my TDEE of about 2200kcal. Many days I'm at least a few hundred calories under, but I make up for it at the weekend with wine and desserts. Very little hassle and so far it's yielded 2lbs loss per week.