The FastDay Forum

Today my best friend at work looked at my arms and emerging cheekbones and went "oh wow!" and "how much have you lost?". After me replying a bit bashful (??) then she asked how I look upon myself?

The thing is, when I look in the mirror I don't see a substantial change...I can only see that the clothes are looser and I do see my cheekbones and that the flab under my chin is gone. But I still see an overweigh women Not fat, just over weight with surplus padding on the hips and the buttocks.....

And it started to make me think and remember the time in my life when I was truly thin (58kg on 177cm) and people went on and on about that I had to eat more and I simply couldn't understand what they where talking about.

Maybe me/we get stuck with our mirror images? We are so used to what we see, that it's impossible to see what's really there?

So what do you see when you look in the mirror? The truth or your always already known??

I think most of us are overly critical of ourselves when we look in the mirror...
I must admit i dont like what i see and i avoid them as much as poss
Maybe in the months to come,that will change WoooooooHooooooo!

Congrats on your loss! X

What an interesting post, Wolfie!

I was saying to someone just yesterday that when I was bigger - at my biggest - before I started 5:2, I weighed in at 14 stone 5 pounds. When I weighed myself I was absolutely shocked by how high the number was on the scales - surely not?! I told my best friend how much I weighed in at and she, too, was surprised. Looking back, however, I looked far heavier than I thought I did at the time.

I find my relationship with my body to be a complex one, sometimes thinking of myself as a slim 17 year old (as I was my lightest back then), whilst at other times I feel far bigger than I actually am, thinking of myself as looking the way I did before I started. Having lost 23 pounds so far, my relationship with myself is in a constant state of flux, sometimes looking in the mirror and thinking 'wow, I'm so much slimmer', whilst at other times looking and thinking 'meh, I can barely even see a change'. The photos in the 'before and so far' thread that I have posted on here help me to recognise and be proud of what I have achieved, whilst showing me the physical changes that have occurred.

My boyfriend tells me that he thinks that I think of myself as being much larger than I actually am, whilst when I actually was bigger I found it hard to understand why my grandmother kept telling me that I needed to lose weight, often thinking, 'but I'm not THAT bad'. People's comments certainly have affected my relationship with my body, ranging from having been bullied for years about my weight, to having a close friend accidentally insult and upset me when she compared me to a 'before photo' in an article about a woman who had had a gastric band operation!

Sorry to waffle, your post has just made me think...I suppose everybody's relationship with themselves is different, you just have to try and be honest with yourself, about the good, the bad and the ugly! (Hopefully picking up on the good, for the mostpart)

Best wishes xx

Pinchypops,you made me think and I realise that most of the time,there's a part of me that is always incredulous that i am no longer that skinny child/ slim teen,twenty,thirty yr old ...
Part of me is always shaking its head and going Noooooooooo what happened! Whhhhhhy!

I've lost 17lbs since doing this woe since feb. I certainly notice my cheekbones now and thinner legs! I really like what I see but the biggest surprise is finding my clothes are loser and more comfortable. My biggest problem is some work colleagues comments. A couple have now noticed my weight loss and have been very complimentary and interested in how I have achieved it. BUT one or two have started saying 'Katie you are too skinny, your clothes are falling off you! Don't lose anymore' I'm not skinny - 9st 7lb at 5ft 4 and my clothes are not falling off! But my problem is how to answer to them. I feel I have to justify looking and feeling better. I wonder how they would respond if I said to them.... 'My you're getting fatter you need to lose weight' which of course I would''t as I am not cruel. I just don't know how to reply to their negative comments and it gets me down. Don't get me wrong, I get on well with all my work mates, it just drives me crazy!! Sorry for the rant and I will continue with this woe for ever as I am so happy with the results. Xxxxx

I would be too skinny at 9st 4 and same height but that's just me. Different people look better at different weights and it's got to be a personal decision.

I used to feel fat at 9st when I was 20 something, I'd always been chubby and I just never adjusted to being thinner. Looking at pics, I looked terrible.

Fast forward 20 years and in a very happy place, I didn't feel fat at 15 stone, so never felt the need to lose weight despite everyone telling me I needed to.

Now 12 stone and feel very good. I despair at the gym when some remarkably small girls are moaning on about being fat (8 stone and 7 stone...) so people aren't the best judges of themselves as their perceptions get in the way of reality.

I've lost 38lb or is it 40lb and I STILL don't see any difference. But 40lb is only about 15% of my body weight. But, my hubby tells me there is a difference, my clothes tell me there is a difference. I think I will really have to be way, way smaller than I am now to notice the difference, or to acknowledge the difference.

In my head though, I am still the bouncy, full of life, full of 'I can do' person I was at 25. In my head I haven't got past 25. I hope I'm still 25 in my head when I'm 90.

Or to be like my much missed and much loved Grandmother, who defied convention all her life. To the extent that she went white water rafting down the Grand Canyon when she was 80. Now that kind of antic is what I want to be remembered for. Not sitting and whining in the corner, old before my time as some people do.

I've lost 42lbs - I'm only 2lbs away from my target - and I have real body dysmorphia when I look in the mirror. I used to be a size 16 (UK) and now I'm a 10 and I hold up a pair of jeans and look at the backside and think "They'll NEVER fit my ample bum" (I'm a "pear" rather than an "apple"), yet they slide up my legs and into place with no problems. But I still can't see that I'm slimmer. All my friends and family are on red alert to tell me if they think I've taken my weight loss that step too far... at 50 I acknowledge that I don't want to end up looking gaunt and scrawny as I need a bit of cheek filling these days (on my face!! lol) Obviously to everyone else they can see the difference, but my brain does not compute it. Yet.

Looking in the mirror
Never really done that very much, but having lost 40 ish lbs I take a quick look maybe downwards to check my clothing I've done that a few times lately well I'm a little happier shape wise in what I see looking back
BUT today yes was a big shock at the hairdressers keeping me waiting moving me to 4 different mirrors more waiting
Well I saw looking back at me a long much thinner face looking back to me and worse she wore a baggy neck. Bloody awful really bad I just couldn't wait to get home where I've only 2 mirrors in the house and with the correct lighting and also only taking the occasional 30 second glance well she kind of followed me home now I'm totally depressed
Not depressed enough to gain anyone of those 40 lbs though.
Will just have to get a load of scarves. Sad Sue

I've had a bit of a transformation.
My parents, kindly, kept telling me I was ugly, so, natch, I grew up believing this.
Despite having several loving relationships (hub no 3 now and a definite stayer!), I've never lost this negative image of myself.
But (see my blog), a revelation has occurred! Hub, a keen photographer, keeps on taking photos and, whilst I'd never admit I'm a looker, I've started to see myself as, possibly, others see me now.
I'm 63, in size 14 jeans (and my parents said no nice young lady over 30 wore jeans... well, perhaps I'm not nice!!!) and slinky T shirts.

I've grown my hair a bit (more flattering) and
a) don't colour it
b) still have all my own teeth
c) have had a new knee, but I don't think you'd know it.

I feel better now than I have done in 20 years! 6lbs to go to target and 6 weeks till I'm 64... getting younger by the day!

Sue I think that as we lose weight we do go through a baggy stage before, hopefully, our skin catches up & reduces too. My arms are like bat wings with slimness beneath & hanging off underneath parts that I can grab but know there is a reducing fat layer there. They do look awful & I also have a bit under my chin that looks baggy. I keep moisturising my arms & other baggy bits & when I look in the mirror I can see that my stomach profile has shrunk but yes that's baggy as well In some ways when I was fatter I looked more rounded & better filled out & less saggy so I hope that my skin will catch up with me. I have now lost 28 lbs since Christmas with another 42lbs to go! so heaven knows what my skin will do but all we all can do is keep going & know that we will be more healthy without our extra weight.
I certainly don't want to regain 28lbs ever again
So onwards & downwards!

For me it depends on the day and the mirror. Sometimes, I can see a huge difference. Sometimes, I can't get past the fat belly. When I am bloated I feel huge and fat. But, I have my skinny days, too.

I watched the documentary The Inner Weigh (full movie on youtube) and it suggests the fake it til you make it technique of looking in the mirror and saying "I feel thinner today." I do that especially on those days when I look in the mirror and see nothing I like. I shake if off and say "I feel thinner today" and lots of times I even believe it.

Then, I take a look at my current inspiration outfit, maybe even try it on. If it doesn't fit I pull out the previous one and wear it that day. I keep an inspiration piece for each season like a sundress or a pair of jeans, capris or shorts. So, far I have been able to fit into every season's inspiration outfit before the season ends and that keeps me going when the scale isn't moving.

It is so sad that we women, but increasingly men, measure ourselves constantly and generally find ourselves wanting/flawed/lacking/not enough/too much/not worthy/too fat/too skinny....whatever. Unconsciously or consciously we waste precious time comparing ourselves to some 'ideal'. Many of us also do it to others, compare, measure and rate. Imagine how life could be if we felt self acceptance/love and appreciation; regardless of what we looked like, or what we did or didn't do, did or didn't eat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE

OH, what to say about this subject. We are bombarded by Models and magazines, movie stars and 16 year olds. I will never be any of those things. But when I look in the mirror I do love the shape of my face and the healthful glow. I like that I can see a one pack and look forward to a flatter stomach. I was born with smaller hips and nice legs but I hope I will develop a rounded bottom. Mostly I love my regained flexibility and energy. Even my hair and nails have gotten healthier. I perceive myself as a vibrant middle aged woman that needs to follow Julie's grandmother to the whitewater rafting on the Colorado River.

Wolfie, excellent subject. I constantly wonder if I'm too skinny, cos i am getting the old 'don't lose any more weight now' from people who have put on weight. I don't feel skinny, i feel i could lose another kg, however my face is a bit gaunt. But the upside is i CAN look in the mirror after years of avoiding them paranoically. Sueq we all look shit at the hairdressers *_* in fact i now put on makeup b4 i go..never used to bother. Before I started fasting I thought I was 12...wrong, I was a 14 which is why the 12s didn't fit! I was in denial. I guess we just need to look at our BMI for an honest appraisal. It's a very interesting subject as is pennyforthem saying her parents told her she was ugly..what did that make them? Whatkatiedid I laughed..exactly..imagine the outcry if u sidled up to them and said 'gee your a porker, u should try fasting'..maybe u need to suggest they try fasting and they too can be skinny LOL to be honest i don't care if i'm a bit flabby, gaunt or wrinkly..I'm no longer fat and I like that