And what do you can a blind deer that isn't moving??
Still no eye deer
Still no eye deer
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Ok I'm on a roll now, do you want to hear my joke about a tortilla?......it's really corny!
What do you call 2 banana skins? .......a pair of slippers!
What's the difference between bogeys and broccoli?......kids don't eat broccoli!
How do you keep sheep warm in winter?.....central bleating!
Where do you find a dog with no legs?......right where you left him!
And finally
What do you call a Chav in a box?.........
I thank you....takes a bow
What do you call 2 banana skins? .......a pair of slippers!
What's the difference between bogeys and broccoli?......kids don't eat broccoli!
How do you keep sheep warm in winter?.....central bleating!
Where do you find a dog with no legs?......right where you left him!
And finally
What do you call a Chav in a box?.........
I thank you....takes a bow
......the answer to the last one ......
Innit!
(posting issues!)
Innit!
(posting issues!)
Hi Julie hope we are keeping you smiling..
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.
ROFL! 
Sending hugs and best wishes to you both through the airwaves - wishing that all goes well for you. And to hopefully help with the giggle side:
The Garlic diet: You don't lose weight; you just look thinner from a distance.
I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me (not true with 5:2)
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
The Garlic diet: You don't lose weight; you just look thinner from a distance.
I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me (not true with 5:2)
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
A group of South Africans arrives at the pearly gates, some with flags, some in rugby supporters jerseys. The Keeper of the Gates asks what they want – they say they want to come in.
“Just wait a moment’ says the Keeper and goes to his Master.
‘Master, a group of South Africans are at the pearly gates, what should I tell them?’
The Master says ‘Ask them what they have done to make my South Africa a better place for all’.
The Keeper goes away and returns a minute later. ‘They’ve gone!’ he says breathlessly.
‘The South Africans?’
‘No, the pearly gates!’
“Just wait a moment’ says the Keeper and goes to his Master.
‘Master, a group of South Africans are at the pearly gates, what should I tell them?’
The Master says ‘Ask them what they have done to make my South Africa a better place for all’.
The Keeper goes away and returns a minute later. ‘They’ve gone!’ he says breathlessly.
‘The South Africans?’
‘No, the pearly gates!’
Apologies to any South Africans in the group 
23 posts
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