The FastDay Forum

There have been lots of similar comments from other people over the months on the forum, so Jo's experience is by no means unusual!! Doesn't make it any less irritating though I'm lucky have only had one or two 'negative' comments ... most people not noticed yet (but they damn well will now I am swapping to size 12s!!!! )

unfortunately I won't be able to use your wonderful excuse rawkaren, much as I'd like to - I think I will just try to be noncommittal, as I've found I no longer need others' approval or validation. And we're all the ones who have lost the weight after all - so what!!!

I remember once when I was nearly 14 stone being told my a friend (the same height) who wa 7.5 stone that I didn't need to lose any weight. Haha!

Don't take any notice of jealous people.

And I'm sure a lot of women just want a 'fat friend' to stay fat, so that they will look the 'slimmer one' !!! Nothing much changes!

I know how you feel. I don't think I look skinny ( I know I'm not) but I still get people telling me not to lose any more weight. I want to lose about another 8lbs to get to my target weight. I wonder how they would feel if I said " oh don't eat any more (cake, chocolate etc) you're looking quite fat!' I wouldn't of course because I am not that rude. Just carry on as usual and ignore bad feed back but that is easier said then done!
Katie x

I still have tons of weight to lose, so I get the opposite of 'should you be eating that?' when they know I'm losing weight.
If its not one thing its the other.

I agree with the others though, its usually jealousy and a bit of competition thrown in. Many of them have been the slimmest one in the group for a long time and see this lovely person also becoming the slimmer person and can see you as competition. So they try to derail you, they may not even see it as a sabotage attempt.

There is one other reason and that is that people are used to seeing you with plump cheeks and a big arse. That is their personal image of you, the mental photo they refer to when your name is mentioned. It can actually scare them when you are no longer that image, that person they hold in their minds. A bit like a young child being told that someone they haven't seen for a long time, who has different hair style and hair colour, who now wears glasses, has different clothes and has put on weight is their gran. It confuses and upsets them. The same can happen to adults.

You are the one in charge of your body, though I would like to do the 'hadn't you better watch what your eating, you can get too fat' someday.

Wow, it seems that so many of us have had similar experiences. Isn't it quite amazing that people feel able to comment, advise and inform when they are actually not doing anything about their own health?! That's the stickler for me, it's usually people who complain about their own health/weight/lack of motivation that feel they are knowledgeable and experienced enough to hand out advice. I think I'll just begin telling people I'm maintaining and stop all conversations before they start!

Thanks for taking the time to respond folks, I do love the fact we can sound off to each other a little, it's nice to have the support of people who actually understand! xx

I am about the same BMI as you Jo so quite similar
I, on the other hand, love people telling me I'm looking lovely and don't need to lose anymore. It makes me not stress about the last stone I want to get off because I already look nice, so anything else is a bonus! That's how I take it anyway.
Lil

Does anyone else have an issue with other people's opinions? Over the past few weeks I've had a number of conversations with friends about my weight. All are complimentary, however the conversation usually ends with them telling me that I shouldn't be looking to lose any more weight or I'll start to look ill.

I have revised my target down three times as when I get to target I know there are still a few pounds of fat left. My target weight will not take me into the underweight category for my height but several of my friends think I'm being 'silly' and/or 'obsessive'.

At the end of the day the only person who needs to be happy with my body is me, I see myself naked in the mirror, I see the wobbly bits that are still there and I want them to be gone. After coming this far and working this hard I think it's my right to be as happy as I can be with my body, I think I deserve it.

Sorry, rant over, I am just a bit sick of other people's opinions!

'Opinions are like 'ahem' bottoms, we all have one, doesn't mean I need to see it'

Not intended for you, but to think about, when one opinion comes flying at you next.

I belong to a christian forum and I got quiet an undressing with stern opinions and its stopping me from posting there, it was that bad

Yes, opinion are like backsides, I dont want to see it., especially when it comes with parental overtones and I'm 48. GRRRh

When people ask about my weight loss and the new me I very happily tell them about 5:2 and how it has changed my life (that's a serious comment, about it having changed my life!) - a few friends started giving it a go too and they are also now in this WOL. I've had a lot of support from people and, seeing as I've still got 1-1.5 stone to shed no-one's yet told me "don't lose any more" or similar. Not being one to keep my mouth shut, they probably realise they'd better not say it anyway ... ha ha. It just ain't none of their business - when my doctor tells me then I'll listen

I'm going to look at this from a slightly different angle, at the risk of being jumped on...

Yes there maybe some jealousy involved (who knows), and people may be envious of you. But I do sometimes wonder whether some people will ever be truly happy and at peace with their body?
By that I mean, do some people perhaps get a bit carried away and don't know where to stop? with the greatest of respect, you will ALWAYS have wobbly bits (I think that was the term you used?), no matter how much weight you lose.
As human beings most of us are unhappy with some aspect of ourselves, and strive to change things. When actually acceptance and peace of mind comes from inside.

If this is not you then I apologise, it was just a thought

Yes I'm with you suchard no ones told me I've lost enough, which is just as well coz I'm not even half way there yet, and I'm also now speaking my mind more with any answers I give on any subject
Margie I assume your comments were aimed at the members with a low BMI who also have opinions on there own bodies there ''wobberly'' bits are a hell of a lot smaller than mine but just as important to them as mine are to me
As i said I'm not even halfway into my goal and I'm not looking for all the perfect numbers weight wise and never have on this allways aiming way way below any recommended average weight.
I will be contented with my less than normal size + shape never aimed too high so contentment was always my main goal, and probably same for us all we just have different levels of contentment and yes peace of mind.
Sue.

Hi Margie, I don't really think I fall into the category of never being content. I am very happy with my body at the moment. Not only because it really does look better than it has in years (possibly ever) but because it performs better. I've recently taken up running (my umpteenth attempt at such nonsense) and my body is responding well when I ask it to do something. If anything it is fitness as oppose to weight loss I am now working to achieve, my new goal is to run a half marathon in 2014. I have no aspirations to 'skinny' and I don't want to see my ribs in the mirror...ever...or my chest plate (the thought gives me the shivers)! However to get the fit/toned look that I want I know that I have to lose a little more body fat, also the only reason I can now run is because I've lost weight, I used to suffer terribly when running at my highest weight, I figure if I am at my ideal weight which is my goal then my performance will again be improved. As I said, I've come this far and feel a real sense of achievement with both my weight loss and fitness goals and I don't want to stop now as, for the first time in my life what I want for myself is actually within my grasp and that's not something I thought I'd ever be able to say.

I quite like having wobbly bits (my OH likes them too!), but would like to minimize the bits that shouldn't be wobbling quite as much as they currently do

Normally, I keep my thoughts to myself about people's weight, unless they want to actively discuss it. After all, not everyone does look better after losing weight, and not everyone even wants to. My m-i-l is always telling me I look better for losing weight, even when I've put it on. She honestly sees things through rose coloured glasses (and is very slim herself), so it isn't jealousy, or malicious in any way, it's just her way of perhaps trying to make me feel better about myself? I don't know. It used to annoy me, but I try not to let it now, as I know she doesn't mean any harm. I do wonder if she will say anything next time she sees me as I *have* lost weight this time?

Jospeirs, your last comments were inspirational and one day I too hope to feel the same.

Way to go!