The FastDay Forum

Jospeirs, your last comments were inspirational and one day I too hope to feel the same.

Way to go!

Thanks Pumpkin888! You are very much in the right place to achieve your goals! This way of life was a total revelation to me and I know to many others on the site. Everyone here is great for inspiration, tips, advice and sometimes just to allow you to vocalise what you are feeling and get feedback from people who understand! I'm astounded that I can say things like 'I am happy with my body', it's all quite surreal!

Sue.Q - My comments weren't 'aimed' at anybody specific, I was talking about people and human nature in general.

And I wasn't categorising anyone, how could I when you are all complete strangers to me? It was just another angle to perhaps be considered...

Good luck to everyone on their journey, be it for weight loss, health reasons or whatever. I hope you all reach your goals

Hi Izzy,

I don't think any of my friends are being malicious, but as others have said throughout the thread the acceptance of being able to comment on someone losing weight is completely converse to that if we were to comment on those putting weight on.

On the flip side of this I have a 'best friend' who has not once acknowledged my weight loss which I find very bizarre, especially as even my bro-in-law has commented and he's a typical man! It just goes to highlight that what my Gran would say is true 'there's nowt as queer as folks'!

Interesting thread as it has happened to me at about 5kgs down when I was shedding my extra baggage I had carted around far too long and well knew I had only just started and had heaps to go, the message was delivered by a friend that people were saying It was time I stopped fasting.

Thought a bit about it as it was unexpected ...was it jealousy, who would know, but do think the fasting also worried people and our faces lose the fat and maybe that shocks people too. But I know where my fat still lurks even though I am under no illusions and don't expect my svelte bod back as am over 60 (am told by DH and DS) but I scrub up OK.

It's a personal journey, great to be in on it and am glad for lovely company here ...my rant over

Just being the devils advocate here....

I have a friend who has lost several stones in WW - to be honest a stone ago she looked wonderful - glossy hair, healthy looking and I'd say about a size 12.

Now she has such a gaunt face everytime I see her I take a sharp intake of breath. Her body shape has changed now that she has no curves at all and clothes hang off her. Her hair looks like it could just break off.

Instead of looking in the mirror she is obsessed with a number on the scales.

But if I say anything I know I will be accused of being jealous

My most favourite Jimi track!

Just being the devils advocate here....

I have a friend who has lost several stones in WW - to be honest a stone ago she looked wonderful - glossy hair, healthy looking and I'd say about a size 12.

Now she has such a gaunt face everytime I see her I take a sharp intake of breath. Her body shape has changed now that she has no curves at all and clothes hang off her. Her hair looks like it could just break off.

Instead of looking in the mirror she is obsessed with a number on the scales.

But if I say anything I know I will be accused of being jealous

This is precisely what I was trying to say, some people become obsessed and just don't know when to stop. They will never be happy with what they've achieved, as somewhere along the line they have developed a skewed view of themselves (they see fat where no-one else can).

Is it anyone's place to tell them though, or give their opinion? or will concerned comments always be misconstrued as jealousy?

I think most folks here were taking their cue from Jo's BMI. At 24, she is neither underweight or overweight. My sister weighs less than 100lbs, and looks very gaunt. But there is no telling her and if anyone dares broach it, we suffer an attack. She thinks she is healthy because she works out every day........ So I agree there are times when you need to speak up, but as always, some people don't want to know.

I once got told I looked "gaunt" at 12 stone (5ft6, size 14). Clearly still overweight and he was just being an idiot.

I think people have different perceptions about what people look like, for me heavier people look fine but I like curves and cuddly blokes. It's interesting who comments & who doesn't & probably everyone will have their reasons.

I'm 12st, just getting to the point people are commenting on how thin my face is. My mother is starting to complain & ask if I plan to lose much more. I'm still wobbly in places but will have to take it easy from now on.

On another note, I saw a friend after a year who had lost 8st & whilst I knew something was different, it took me a while to figure out what. It's very apparent to ourselves that we've worked hard and lost, it's our priority but other people will be thinking about their own stuff mostly.

I think there's a moment where the weight loss becomes noticeable, so people may have the knee jerk reaction that it's happened all too quickly, when we know exactly how gradual it's been. Also in comparison to how we used to look the contrast may seem quite stark and that may be the reason for the knee-jerk. But no one actually asks what weight you are, or how much you are losing per week (for me my weight loss has been about 1.14lbs per week since I started). If people asked some probing questions and got some understanding then I'd be fine. I've done lots and lots of research into my health, weight loss and fitness and it slightly annoys me that people who are pretty unqualified because they don't know the facts, or at the very least how the facts apply to me as an individual, feel they can comment.

Why not turn the tables jospiers? When I had put on a lot of weight, if anyone mentioned it I would say "Yes, it makes me feel so much better, I hated being so thin" that usually shut them up.
So, you could do the same, "I love this new slim me, I'm feeling healthier and more energetic. I can't wait to lose a little more weight, why don't you try it, you would look better too". Then walk away!