The FastDay Forum

Does anyone else have an issue with other people's opinions? Over the past few weeks I've had a number of conversations with friends about my weight. All are complimentary, however the conversation usually ends with them telling me that I shouldn't be looking to lose any more weight or I'll start to look ill.

I have revised my target down three times as when I get to target I know there are still a few pounds of fat left. My target weight will not take me into the underweight category for my height but several of my friends think I'm being 'silly' and/or 'obsessive'.

At the end of the day the only person who needs to be happy with my body is me, I see myself naked in the mirror, I see the wobbly bits that are still there and I want them to be gone. After coming this far and working this hard I think it's my right to be as happy as I can be with my body, I think I deserve it.

Sorry, rant over, I am just a bit sick of other people's opinions!

Don't know the weight of your mates, but I'm going to go for the simple answer. They see in you what they despise about themselves. So its probably jealousy. Happened to me last time I lost weight and I caved in 'under pressure', because I was the slimmest in my group and was made to feel bad about it. It's akin to being out and not drinking and you get the Spanish Inquisition "are you pregnant?" (even at my age at get asked that). Then the ludicrous pressure comes "don't be a boring old f**t". All because they feel guilty about their own drinking.

Keep going Jo, ignore them and get to the weight you feel happy at.

Maybe they are just concerned, who knows? Your BMI showing on the left doesn't appear to be cause for concern to me, so it doesn't seem like you should be worried at the moment. As dieters/fasters then we can sometimes get a bit obsessive, but if that works for us then so what? I try not to talk too much about it to others, to be honest.

Yes, I totally agree with you Jo. From my previous dieting efforts I can still remember, (still, bitterly, about 15 years on!!) being patronisingly warned not to lose any more weight even by a colleague who was considerably slimmer at the time than I was. It made me so cross! Did I not have the right to be a slim as her? The nerve of the woman!!!

This time I am prepared. I still get the stupid unwanted opinions, but now I don't let them get to me. I bask in the compliment which usually comes first, and then I simply stop listening. If pressed, I'll smile and nod and say, oh you are right, I don't want to be too thin, and leave it at that. These people have their own reasons for what they say, sometimes well-meaning, sometimes born out of their own insecurities, but they don't know what they are talking about and you do. You know what your BMI is, they don't, you know what a healthy BMI range is, they may or may not, you know what you look like naked, they don't! Their uninformed opinions are worthless.

jospeirs, you've done fantastically and it isn't silly or obsessive to want to be non-wobbly. You deserve to be svelte, sleek and slender all over - go for it.

kl

Yep, jealous people can be very rude and all done under the guise of 'because I care about you'!
I never discuss my weight or how I achieved my weight loss unless I'm asked and even then I try not to say anything controversial. I have been told, by fat people, that I should not lose any more weight as I am thin enough and I always just smile and resist the urge to inform the other person that perhaps they should not put on any more weight as they are already fat enough! Grrrr.

Ballerina x

Do exactly what suits you because you know your own body best, and can only agree that most are probably jealous and I would think mostly women
I've not had any of this yet this time but while i was working theres always one diet expert wherever you work or socialise. Trust your own instincts on this one Sue.

Hi yes I agree with the above, they are JEALOUS!! You go girl, only you that matters in this. Everyone has a phd in diets, I learnt many years ago to not tell anyone and if they say ' have you lost weight', just tell them any old rubbish to keep them guessing. Or just tell them that they are being quite rude by asking that question. Totally embarrasing (for them)

Anyway keep it up, and you will have the last laugh!

Two of my friends have lost, gained, lost weight with various slimming clubs, paying out a fortune in the process and seemingly on a never ending treadmill. They commiserate with each other about 'sins', green days? etc and if I try to talk sense to them about fasting or trying a different approach they recoil in horror and just say,'Well it's ok for you, you don't need to diet, you're naturally skinny!'. Not true! I've worked hard to shift the pounds but sometimes it's best just to keep shtumm!

Thanks everyone. Funnily enough, yes, the commentators are all women and they have all expressed their desire to lose weight, so jealousy might well be a factor. I'm glad I'm not the only one in this boat. It's almost like being actively discouraged. The human psyche is bizarre. I will keep going until I am happy! As drosebud says my BMI is still at the top end of normal so I certainly don't think there's anything at all to worry about. Thanks again for your comments, I'm so glad we've got this forum to keep each other going.

Hi

I am getting it quite often at the moment. And yes from so called female friends. I am 3lb off my target of a 3 stone loss. Gone from a size 18 to a 12. And as you can see from my bmi by no means a twig.

I too don't know why these green people think they know best for us. We must stick together in the knowledge that they are envious.

There. My rant over too.

Lesley

Ooohhh the fasting diet well that's a completely different kettle of fish callyanna no way do I mention this one there is so much ignorance out there on this subject
Only my sister knows exactly what i'm doing
She's now joined me with nowhere near the amount to lose as me and she's now losing so i have a sensible
diet partner.
For everyone else who asks i say i'm counting calories
Well i do for 3 days per week so i'm not lying,
Having said that considering i'm down 3 stone not a great deal of people have actually noticed, a few friends i eat out with have noticed without me saying anything at all, i dont have a problem with this i just think inwardly the must have serious sight issues Lol
But this weekend i'm out with the outlaws who never noticed at the one+half stone stage now its double that well we'll see if they notice anything at all they should because i've a new wardrobe to go with my new
''interim'' shape + size
Can't wait Sue.

Well here's a compliment from me Sue to get you started and I'm sure it will only be the first of many more to come. You are doing brilliantly so give yourself an enormous pat on the back! x

...and we look forward to hearing how things go with the 'outlaws'
well I hope

One can only assume @Sue.Q that your inlaws haven't commented because they see only the lovely person that you are.

Isn't it interesting that the majority of us don't mention 5:2 like dieters talk about red days, green days, points blah blah??? I don't tell anyone I'm doing 5:2, unless it comes up in conversation, ie someone else happens to say they are doing it (then I know I have a friend). I have yet to have people comment on my loss (only my OH so far), but I have my stock answer ready for when the big day comes 'less stress now I'm not working daaahhling'