The FastDay Forum

After ten months on 5:2 and getting my weight down to what it was twenty years ago, why do I still overeat on non fast days?

I can't understand how I can eat so little, without cheating on fast days and then go mad eating everything in (or out) of sight on the days between.

I put it down to stress as my disabled hubby is in pain and so bad tempered, he shouts and curses most of the day, most of it directed at me.

I like the freedom of this WOE, if I can do it for the fast days there must be a way to control my eating for the other five each week without dieting every day.

Losing weight is complicated and tied up with emotions. I was the same as you but have slowly been reducing my intake on feed days. I still have binge days sometimes but they are far less now. I have slowly removed my trigger foods from the house. I now only allow an occasional small amount in. Today I have bought a bar of chocolate I will share with OH this evening, the first for months. I have cut out biscuits and now only have homemade things which I find more filling so do not eat so much. It is possibly your struggle to cope with OH being in pain that causes you to binge. Has he been to a pain clinic or exhausted the different solutions already? Have you accessed carers support? You are probably giving so much to him you are emotionally exhausted. No one should have to be in so much pain that it drains both of you, without knowing what you have already tried I hesitate to suggest too much. The GP should be helping with this.

Thank you Bobshouse,

Sorry, that wasn't the full story, hubby is also an alcoholic and hates to see the doctor because he always suggests that hubby should stop drinking - which he refuses to do. It's not always pleasant here and sometimes when when his pain is bad I don't help him, I keep well away from the shouting and accusations and then feel guilty. I know it's not personal, he doesn't remember anything about it the next day. When he is (occasionally) sober he is a different person.

Strange, I can talk about it here but very rarely tell anyone outside the family!

As for bars of chocolate, I always have to eat the lot. I know I shouldn't buy them but that little devil on my shoulder urges me to every time I go shopping.

Hi coffeetime. This must be a tough gig. No wonder you need an escape. Have you tried forms of escape such as exercise or meditation? Do you also attend AA? I gather it's very helpful for supporters. I have alcoholism in my family. So no real expertise, only from what I have gleaned. Stick with your forum buddies for support.

Hi Coffeetime,

I don't know what to say to you other than you are a saint and an angel, how awful for you. I am not even going to try and offer you advice as I am not in your shoes so nothing I suggest would carry any validity, so, I'm just going to send you a shed load of hugs............................ ................did you get them all? Good, now don't forget that we are all here, day and especially through the night when I understand our antipodean sisters are holding the fort. DO take care of yourself and good luck,

Ballerina x

Hang in there coffeetime. Sending support your way. Alcoholism is one of the toughest things I have seen in this world to live directly with. I hope you can find support here and also in person, sometimes it's just nice to talk it out with an empathetic ear, Al Anon can help http://www.al-anon.org/.

Thanks everyone, you are all so kind - I have tears streaming down my face as I type - feeling sorry for myself which wasn't what I intended when I started this thread.

I have tried the AA but it was such a long drive in the evening and when I got back it was dark and I was locked out. I haven't been back since.

I can usually cope and you can't imagine how much this forum helps when things get bad, reading through the posts here soon cheers me up, some of you have problems so much worse than mine which puts everything in perspective.

There. I'm better already and I'm NOT going to reach for the chocolate this time. Thank you all for the hugs and support.

A huge hug from me too the fact that you have stuck with 5:2 and lost so much weight in your situation, is hugely impressive.
Is there something you can find to do, just for yourself, to take you out of the house for an hour a day? Be kind to yourself that is the most important thing.

Sending you a long, loving, warm hug we are here when you need us.
Edit. I was once told that to be able to look after others, you need to look after yourself first

Definitely time to get some professional, objective support and advice. Start at CAB, online if necessary and work from there, as things can be done, even if it doesn't seem so atm.

The point about being in a fit state yourself is true, you cannot be endlessly drained without respite.

This forum is great for giving people support however they need it - I think you've had loads of good advice and Sian S is right - be kind to yourself - you've done amazingly well despite your circumstances and the forum is always here. Sending you best wishes and a hug.

Coffeetime it's amazing the weight you've lost with all this going on in the background maybe there is more specific help and support you can access wither by phone or online (you've probably already thought of this, but worth saying) it must be much harder battling this virtually on your own, and although the forum is great for support, I'm sure you must sometimes need more practical help and tailored to your circumstances. Let us know how you are going on and whatever happens, keep posting

And don't worry about the bingeing

There's not much I can say hun but I will send you loads of ((((((hugs)))))

I hope things get better for you soon. As for 5:2, don't let it become another stress in your life. You've done so well. Stay strong. And I agree, you need to find something to do that's just for you. enjoy you time.
Dee

My internet suddenly failed and my comment has just disappeared into the ether.

I was going to thank you all once again for the lovely things you have said. I've had counseling twice which didn't really make much difference. I can usually shut out the bad stuff. Taking my dog for a walk helps although she won't venture further than the front gate if it rains or if the weather is slightly damp.

I really appreciate all of the kind words and I've never had so many hugs. You are all such wonderful people.

Apologies if my original message appears alongside this one

Aw coffeetime sounds tough. My thought about the chocolate is make it worth your while and get a chocolate which is absolutely yummy. It has chromium in it which is good for you

Carer support groups are held in the day time and would cover the aspect of all that you do and come up with being a primary support to your hubby. Hope you can find some local supports. There are many resources directed to carers in Australia so I have no doubt same would be available where you live. Local doc or the clinic nurse will know. Some surgeries have the info in the waiting room. Or google career support and your area for some contact details. If you have the numbers you can do a bit of research to find what will suit you

Your welfare is important so take good care of you too :