Okay, so yesterday I fasted. Whilst fasting, I was fantasizing about food. I went to the grocery store -- actually three grocery stores -- and bought a lot of food. My fridge and cupboards are bursting, and I mean bursting.
So this morning I woke up, and had a normal breakfast of one veggie sausage and scrambled egg whites. I thought, Okay, I'm in control here, but within a few hours, it was all downhill. I have literally been eating the whole entire day. It is disgusting as I have not stopped eating. I have just polished off an entire tub of salmon flavored Philadelphia cream cheese. I ate so much cheese today, so many crackers, so much chocolate. Oh, my god... I have been a human vacuum.
As I am sitting here sucking down my wine, it occurs to me that the only rational thing to do at this point is to collect all my crackers and cheese and chocolate and put them in a trash bag and get them out of the house. It is not possible for me to have simply one cracker or one cookie, I have to eat and eat until everything is gone. I never feel full or satiated, for me it is all about more, more, more.
God, I wish some of you lived closer. I need like five of you from the forum to come over right now and remove all the bad food from my fridge. Just take it away. i cannot have this stuff in the house. I am an addict. I should be going to meetings.
Honestly, I think I am stressed about work or something, because normally things do not get this out of hand. But lately, I cannot stop thinking about sugar and bread. So yes, I need to put everything in a bag and toss it out. I cannot have this stuff in the house. I buy it thinking, okay, I'm in control, but the truth is, I am not.
Okay, deep breath. Tomorrow is another day. As soon as I put all this food in the trash I will feel better. One more glass of wine and I'm going to bed. I will do a semi fast tomorrow and not eat until dinner time.
Oy vey...
So this morning I woke up, and had a normal breakfast of one veggie sausage and scrambled egg whites. I thought, Okay, I'm in control here, but within a few hours, it was all downhill. I have literally been eating the whole entire day. It is disgusting as I have not stopped eating. I have just polished off an entire tub of salmon flavored Philadelphia cream cheese. I ate so much cheese today, so many crackers, so much chocolate. Oh, my god... I have been a human vacuum.
As I am sitting here sucking down my wine, it occurs to me that the only rational thing to do at this point is to collect all my crackers and cheese and chocolate and put them in a trash bag and get them out of the house. It is not possible for me to have simply one cracker or one cookie, I have to eat and eat until everything is gone. I never feel full or satiated, for me it is all about more, more, more.
God, I wish some of you lived closer. I need like five of you from the forum to come over right now and remove all the bad food from my fridge. Just take it away. i cannot have this stuff in the house. I am an addict. I should be going to meetings.
Honestly, I think I am stressed about work or something, because normally things do not get this out of hand. But lately, I cannot stop thinking about sugar and bread. So yes, I need to put everything in a bag and toss it out. I cannot have this stuff in the house. I buy it thinking, okay, I'm in control, but the truth is, I am not.
Okay, deep breath. Tomorrow is another day. As soon as I put all this food in the trash I will feel better. One more glass of wine and I'm going to bed. I will do a semi fast tomorrow and not eat until dinner time.
Oy vey...