The FastDay Forum

Hey all, isn't it funny when I'm in serious need of support I turn here??

I hope you have a friend you can buzz up and talk. Life does stink sometimes but time does help heal most wounds.

Thank you @golinda. Yeah I've got a lot of friends who have been supportive so far, just it's 5am and I really can't sleep and no one is replying to me! Ha. Oh I'm just so sad. He wasn't my first love but he's the first person I've loved so strongly. very sad!

I'm thinking a few here will pull up a chair and have a drink with you. I wish you strength and a very sunny day!

Oh dear Danielle, it never hurts to put boundaries around the behaviour which you do not wish to receive from another human being. That is especially so regarding one you planned to spend the rest of your life with. Power to you for talking a stand and going home. When the dust settles you might change your mind but still it is a necessary thing to value yourself and not want to be treated badly.

I hope there is someone whom you can go out and have a coffee with and chat. Time heals all wounds. Hang in there. Hope it all turns out for the best for you. We are all here to support you as well as we can in this virtual world ((((((((((hugs + ))))))))))))

I'm so sorry to hear how unhappy you are. It sounds like you made the right decision though, or he would have ground you down in the long run. Take some time to be kind to yourself and try and get out with your friends.
Sending a virtual HUG

I'm so sorry you're in pain Danielle. You deserve to be treated with respect all the time and you know that because you drew a line in the sand last night. I don't mean to be corny but love isn't meant to be hard. I am 46 and have been happily married and still in love with my hubbie after 26 years together. I feel valued,respected,cherished and you deserved that too. One time hub yelled at me, I was so hurt.I wrote him a letter and said 'you wouldn't talk to someone at work like that, so don't talk to me like that." He got the letter in his lunch I packed at work and he really got it. It didn't happen again.
Wishing you lots of hugs and care to get you through this time. We're here for you.
Xxx julianna

Sorry to hear how upset you are at the moment Danielle.

Don't give in to pressure from his constant phone calls/messages. Please give yourself time to work out if you really do want to be with him.

In a relationship you both need to be happy and feel relaxed in each others company as well as a feeling of being safe to be yourself.
Your partner should be your best friend. Someone you respect and who respects you.

Remember....If he is not the one for you... There are a lot of other fish in the sea!

Lesley.

Dear Danielle,

I hope you have been able to get some rest and are starting to feel a little more composed. Like other have said, you don't deserve to be treated unkindly by anyone, let alone somebody who is supposed to love you. You have demonstrated tremendous self-respect by saying that "enough is enough". If he is a decent healthy person he will be able to take note and will do something about changing his behaviour and making amends. If not, he is not the person for you, or anybody. If he can be like this in the early days of a relationship, I wonder what he would be like after years and when times were hard.

I hope that you are able to be strong and to be kind to yourself. It might help to focus on his unkindnesses, rather than the good times which you have shared.

You deserve to be treated with love and kindness. Try to create a space for that to happen.

Take care

All the above. As usual forum peeps provide brilliant advice at the drop of a hat. Take care of yourself this weekend Danielle and don't do anything rash or ill considered. Talk to your family and / or friends if you can, and keep occupied. Get up, don't hang around at home, get into toon and go round the shops and buy yourself something nice! Peeps all here as you know when you need us.

Just remember you deserve to be treated with respect always an on that you do not have to compromise.

Take care of yourself @danielle21711 You know in your own mind that he has treated you badly and obviously not just this once you also know that the end is nigh but do take time out before finalising any decision to properly end it all and more importantly don't let him bully you into submission only return if its what YOU want.
He has behaved very badly indeed and you do deserve better and to get stuck into you as you'd just arrived after the long journey is a form of bullying and to top it all did he follow you to the train? doesn't sound like he did no he just sat comfortably at home trying to get you on the phone.
Sue

Dear Danielle, as other have said, you deserve to be treated with respect, however much it hurts at the time. I suspect you'll have done a lot of soul searching - and I hope he has too. Where you go from here is up to you, but try not to return to such a negative relationship. If you can both learn from this, then use it as a wakeup call. If not, move on, with your head held high xxx

Thinking of you Danielle and sending big hugs. My heart goes out to you. Lots of great advice here which I too endorse. Don't rush into anything,and don't let him rush you either..give yourself some time and space to decide what you want from the future and if it includes him or not.xx

Oh you poor wee thing, how awful but as others have said, you did the right thing. Time will heal and you will see that in time. We all deserve better than the way you were treated, feel free to vent as much as you like on here, we are all here for you in this lovely 24 hour society that we have on this forum. @Debs does sterling work on the night shift so you will never be alone, good luck and be kind to yourself

Ballerina x